Month: October 2017

Player Profile – Andy Williams

NAME: Andy Williams

TEAM: 6s

POSITION: right back

BIRTH DATE: 12/7/85


PREVIOUS CLUBS: Queens Park (Sydney, no affiliation)

1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

Well I’ve just got back from 6 years in Sydney and am currently homeless and unemployed! Bit of a catch I know…

2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

I did the sensible thing and prioritised finding a footy team over a place to live and a job so my mate put me in touch with Ryan. Despite telling him I hadn’t kicked a ball for a year I couldn’t believe how friendly and enthusiastic he was for me to join. I only found out about the £50 referral bonus later!

3. What do you like most about Merton FC?

Everyone is very polite about my pathetic fitness and first touch.

4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

The 90s Arsenal team with Adams, Merson & Parlour. Pretty impressive to get on it every night and still do the double!

5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

I’m normally too late to have time for any of that

6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

We got off to a great start and no reason we can’t top the league with this group of players.


Favourite Player (at Merton, or in professional football):

Steve Ogrizovic, my doppelgänger

Childhood Team: Ipswich

Favourite team in the UK: gotta stick with Ipswich unfortunately

Favourite team outside the UK: Barca

Childhood Hero: Jenna Jameson

Favourite Food: mum’s Sunday roast!

Favourite Drink: really not fussy!

Favourite Band: used to be into Oasis and Arctic Monkeys type of music. Don’t listen to too many bands anymore though.

Player Profile – Nick Englefield

NAME: Nick Englefield

TEAM: Merton 6s


BIRTH DATE: 12/08/1987


PREVIOUS CLUBS: Ashtead, Merton, Raynes Park, Tooting and Mitcham Wanderers

1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

I’m a General Manager of a Leisure Centre in Merton so I spend most of my time in and around gyms, so I have to keep active, I workout every day and do the odd triathlon. When I have time I go fishing and would go a lot more if I could, in fact the thought of sitting by a lake for the rest of my life, getting fat on fried food and catching the odd fish sounds idyllic, but unfortunately that won’t pay the bills and I’d probably be horrendous at football.

2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

I had all but retired from football , and ready to spend my weekends fishing when I was asked by Kev and Ty to come back down to Merton and play with the 6s and I’m glad I did. They are a great bunch of lads and we have started off the season on a high, I have a couple of goals under my belt and enjoying every minute of it.

3. What do you like most about Merton FC?

I like the size of the club and the fact that all the teams seem to really get on well with each other. You can always see a few of the lads from the other teams watching from the sidelines cheering each other on. Post match food is always good to.

4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

Manchester United I guess, I think every lad would want to play for the team he supports.

5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

I always have a pre workout drink during the warm up, I don’t think it’s a ritual, more an attempt to make sure I have enough in the tank to try and keep up with the young lads sprinting up and down the wings every 10 seconds throughout the match.

6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

I want to win the league and I want the 6s to have the top goal scorers this season (meaning me) but Tony Chaplin is well ahead at the moment. He will say that its not a competition, but he would, he’s winning. 


Favourite Player (at Merton, or in professional football): Swanny, deceptively cat like.

Childhood Team: Manchester United / Kingstonian

Favourite team in the UK: Manchester United

Favourite team outside the UK: AC Milan

Childhood Hero: Eric Cantona

Favourite Food: Sausages

Favourite Drink: Beer

Favourite Band: Not sure, I’m a big fan of Smooth Radio

5s vs City of London – 21.10.17

2 weeks on from our last outing – a sobering defeat to the very determined and organised 6’s – we were focused on setting the record straight. This season has started poorly with 3 feats from 4 games, so this is a must win game to get our footing back in the league.
Shockingly most of the team were on time and looking sharp, although with white socks and flip flops Dwayne clearly still gets dressed in the dark. Soon enough Darren’s filthy baselines blared out in the clubhouse as we were getting pumped for redemption on home turf.
Another week and another new defensive line, we looked set for another leaky sieve defence, however strong possession play and far more composure on the ball lead to dangerous moves on the other end of the field, Josh and Dwayne combining well only to find the square heads of Gibbo and Dulanie only coming close with their efforts.
Dogged displays in midfield and dominant defending lead to a complete shut out for City of London, who looked short of ideas to break us down and couldn’t match us for strength or skill. Somehow through missed opportunities City made it to half time without dirtying their sheet, but Merton were knocking on the door enough to be confident a goal was imminent.
As the second half began it looked like City were going to try and take the game to Merton a little more, as they looked to transfer from defence to attack quicker, but any loose pass was easily mopped up and helped to open up the game for us, and our front three looked more and more likely to score, Aaron eventually popping up at the back post to nod home the inevitable opener, and from his celebration you could see what it meant to us.
The commotion of scoring distracted Sam in goal from his sudoku as he probably hadn’t had to make a save for about half an hour, and since the goal through a series of sloppy play we somehow managed to keep Sam far busier, almost wasting the lead at the death.
The final whistle blew and we had done enough, more room for improvement but a clean sheet for the 5’s is not something I expected today from yet another changed backline.On the day we made life hard enough for what was in truth a fairly poor opposition, and against stronger side we need to be far more clinical with our chances on goal if we are to challenge for promotion later in the season.

4s vs West Wickham 6s – 14.10.17

Merton 4s vs. West Wickham 6s
SAL Junior Division 4 South
Saturday 14th October 2017

After back to back wins in the league, hope was there that we were able to continue the good form that has taken us to joint top of the league. A win would leave us two points shy of our entire points tally from the previous season!


With availability limited we were required to call up Phil Truman from the 5s to slot into the back three alongside Adam and Joe. With no Dom due to work, it was down to the partnership of Michael Vogt and the young Matt Shreeve to provide the goals. Hopefully Aaron would be able to chip in from the number 10 role.


Having found a formation that works after a few seasons of trying, we were spraying the ball around the park with ease. The opposition were unable to get a foothold in the game and whenever they did, Adam was there to clear up at the back.


Having been a long week before writing this report, it is hard to remember the type of goals that were scored. All I know is that we are 2-0 up at the break Aaron bagging both of the goals.


The second half started in the same fashion as the first however we were only able to add one more to our tally. The scorer…..Aaron for back to back hat tricks. These goals are burning quite a large hole in his pocket!


The only negative to take out of the game was Sonny getting sin binned. This didn’t seem to faze us though as this was the period when Aaron was able to grab his third goal.


Next week we host IBIS Eagles. Having drawn 2-2 back in September and with a win required to take us clear at the top, this game is a must win! 


FINAL SCORE: Merton 4s 3 – 0 West Wickham 6s SCORER(S): Aaron Loftus (3) MOTM: Adam Collings – Aaron was a close second but a solid display at the back from our ‘striker’ could not be overlooked.

DOTD: Frankie Kalogirou – Going down too easy and injuring his shoulder.

STARTING LINE-UP: Michael Gubby (GK), Joe Plumridge, Adam Collings, Phil Truman, Frankie Kalogirou (Daniel Ford), Edward Plaistow (Capt.), Sonny Kennedy, Akram Choudhury, Aaron Loftus, Michael Vogt, Matt Shreeve

Player Profile – Jame Gray

NAME: James Gray

TEAM: 1s

POSITION: DM or utility Centre Half

BIRTH DATE: 07/01/1993


PREVIOUS CLUBS: East Grinstead

  1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

 Jobwise, I work in software sales managing our UK & Irish markets.

Outside of work I do all the standard things a single bloke in his 20s does. Drink fairly often, usually not without incident, losing my wallet on quiz night case in point and obviously watch bake off.

  1. How did you end up at Merton FC?

 Knew Chaz through a friend of a friend

  1. What do you like most about Merton FC?

Love how well run the club is from top down with the events etc. Plus the lads have been welcoming and each week is a good laugh.

  1. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

 Got to be Manchester United. Always been a livelong fan and grown up watching them win everything.

  1. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

 I have a few with no real reasoning behind any of them. Always smack my feet on the ground when I first put my boots on. Try to wear the number 6 if I’m wearing Adidas boots or playing CB and 8 if I’ve got Nike boots

  1. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

 I think it would be a massive disappointment with our squad if we didn’t come close to promotion. Also, be great to go on a cup run and play a final at a pro ground where I score a 40-yard worldie.  


Favourite Player (at Merton, or in professional football): Paul Scholes

Childhood Team: Manchester United

Favourite team outside the UK: Real Madrid. Playing at the Bernabeu would be class

Childhood Hero: David Beckham

Favourite Food: Ice Cream

Favourite Drink: Pint of Moretti

Favourite Band: Mumford & Sons

2s vs Old Owens – 21.10.17

Old Owens (a) 14-10-2017


Merton has never been a club to put too much stock in omens. But when, as skipper, your referee for the day asks if you’re wearing yellow while your entire team is standing around you, all of you resplendent in the very shade Merton has made famous in every corner of London, well… you have to wonder.

Especially when the man in black has then somehow managed to make a complete muddle of the coin toss. Long day ahead? You bet.

This is not the forum for complaint, however. You can draw your own conclusions as to just how wildly inconsistent the man in the middle’s behaviour was during the game.

Instead, a few Merton highlights.

Dom Preece put in a hell of a shift in the middle of midfield. Outshining the energy of Craig Usher and Ryan Gresty is no small feat, but our man did exactly that.

Ahead of him, David Quainton led the line with Tom Benham admirably. Benham’s goal – twisting the defence inside out after latching on to a precise Peter Quainton through-ball – was joyous. Having sat the defender down for what seemed like a third time, Tommy B rattled the ball high past the keeper with his left foot. From the look of determination on his face immediately afterwards, he drew no little satisfaction from doing so.

Sherbs in goal was as reliable as ever. He could do nothing about the penalty (the ref was possibly only sorry he couldn’t take it himself), and made two or three excellent stops.

Dan Rist exudes a style and presence all of his own. Man of the match here, his delivery was pin-point from all over the pitch, and he even found himself on the edge of oppo area to force a fine save from a stinger of an effort. Also worthy of mention is his fondness for the over-elaborate dummy at centre-back. Gets ‘em every time.

Special mention, though, for Peter Quainton. Off the bench after less than 10 minutes, Pete podiumed for Man Most Handsome from right wing-back. Affecting the game when you have the best player on the pitch to mark is one thing. Coming off the bench to show the rest of the lads how it’s done is quite another. Well played.

There was something of a spiteful playground atmosphere about the whole affair, hardly helped by the coin toss cocker-upper. A long way to go for little reward. But this was a game, in the end, that was not without its lighter, brighter moments. In yellow.

Herbert (GK), Grew, Rist, Cook, Rayner, Willgoss (c), Preece, Usher, Gresty, D Quainton, Tom Benham. Sub: P Quainton

7s vs Old Blues 3s – 14/10/17

Match Report

Old Blues 3rd v Merton 7s


‘Friday 13th’, is never a good start to a weekend, and with player’s availability changing on a day to day basis during the week, it was tough task knowing who to select, let alone be turning up. After last week’s demolition of OW8s, tails are up and eager to get back on the pitch.

Today we are in Ham for our second league game of the season against an unpredictable Old Blues 3rd team which has had mixed results of late. Warming up pitch side and watching the oppo run through there drills, the 7s seem confident of improving on the 3 points on the board

Kieran, in goal, Josh, Martin, Dan & Steve making up the back four, Midfield welcome back Jacob on the right, with Luke M stepping into the middle with David, Andrew on the left, leaving Billy & Ryan up top. 

From the start, 7s looked off the pace, the centre midfield pairing seemed to be having trouble closing down the opposite numbers and not to long into the game, Kieran is in action to swat away a fierce shot. Not learning from this mistake, OB3s are running the show from the middle and it seems like OB3s have extra players on the pitch, 2 more close calls see the defence and goalie working hard to keep the oppo at bay.

It wasn’t long before another miss placed pass is intercepted by the very quick and pacey OB3s midfield, who seemed to turn on the gas to get past the defence to unleash a neat shot that beats Kieran on the left. 1-0

Kick off and more of the same, the 7s are suffering from a complacency hangover after having such an easy ride the week before, once again the OB3s midfield boss the game and pass through balls to their forwards at will and again Kieran is unlucky to get beat after getting hands on a tough shot only to see the ball fall to the advancing striker, 2-0

Some last ditch tackles from Steve & Dan saves the 7s from going further behind and with not even 15 minutes played. Even worse, top scorer Billy seemed to have pulled up with a hamstring and hobbles off for some treatment. It just get worse!!

Vocally, only the captain can be heard trying to rally the players to up the game, Steve, Dan join in knowing that we can do better, slowly the 7s get a foot hold in the game and start to put some passes together and finally get rewarded with a few shots, and although not on target, it would seem they OB3s keeper is struggling!

Late in the first half and after an appeal for off side is waved away, the 7s finally test the keeper, it could be deemed an own goal as the shot is parred into the net. 2-1 down at the break and some tough words to be had

Finally Daban decides to turn up, and a quick shuffle sees him replace Luke in the centre and Billy recovers from the mild pull and is ready to come back on. Game starts more the same, David & Daban are making a better fist of it this time, but still doesn’t stop the OB3s from going 3-1, Steve passing to David who loses out and can only watch as the player rounds the defence and finds the net. 3-1

Straight from Kick off sees Billy released with a long ball over the top, which finds him level with the centre backs who can only watch as he beats them to the ball (even after having 10 yards or so!) and with a single touch, lobs the advancing keeper form 20 yards, 3-2

A further changed sees Luke take over from Andrew on the left, who had run his heart out chasseing there right winger, as well as getting up to support the forwards. Still, silly mistakes are getting made and now what seems a single OB3s player is tormenting the 7s defence, sees him once again skip through and curls a lovely shot beyond Kieran who can only watch as its bends in. 4-2.

From the kick off, the tackles are now flying in for both teams, the ref, who to be fair, ‘wasn’t’ having the best day (and I have chosen not to make a point about this) had to pull the captions together before it got out of hand (or turned into a poor version of WWE!).

With Dabans energy in the middle and closing down the OB3s danger player, he robs the ball with a stern challenge, turns and takes off and leaves 2 more players in his wake, Billy sensing a foot race with the OB3s defence is struggling to stay on side and screams for the through ball which Daban obliges, at first, it seemed to be over hit, but with Billy’s pace, his a clear 15 yards ahead of any player and 1v1 with the keeper, which he makes no mistake for 4-3.

However, once again, a bit of bad luck sees OB3s danger man get his 3rd as he manages to ride 3 challenges, 2 with a bit of luck sees the ball bounce off and land back in his path to unleash another shot which Kieran almost got a hand too, to make it 5-3

Back to the drawing board, Josh & Jacob begin to have more joy on the right, a long ball from the back once again sees the OB3s defence panic, Billy now playing of their shoulders and looking to pick up on any mistakes, is once again rewarded and calmly rounds the keeper to roll in his first hatrick for Merton.

The game is now toing and throwing between the 2 sides, a couple of shots from the 7s of target and a side netting from Billy straight from the corner frustrates the team, stronger tackles against the OB3s players sees them protest, this just spurs the 7s on. 

Still with 15 minutes to play, and tired of this OB3s player skipping around, his brought down with a heavy challenge around 20 yards out, Kieran lines the wall up, but is beat by a low shot to his left post for 6-4. Can’t catch a f****** break !!!!!!!

Again, kick off, can’t believe the 7s are still 2 down, the last 20 minutes has been all 7s, running, tackling, shooting. Another corner, Billy sprints from one side of the pitch to the other to take it, David, having his fair share of attention form the OB3s centre mid and centre back, take up man marking defence duties as he strolls in. You just knew that Billy was lining up for a shot after hitting the side netting at his previous attempt, and this time making no mistake, curls the corner directly into the near post for his 4th, and a score of 6-5.

Less than 10 minutes and a few more dubious decisions by the ref. Notably Daban fouled some 25 yards from the 7s goal, protest for a free kick are waved away, the ball is won back and cleared up field, once again Billy is free after clearly sprinting between the two centre backs but still 30 yards out, controls the ball…. And the whistle goes… the game has been pulled back for the foul on Daban !!!!!

Last minutes, the 7s having all the play, just can’t seem to find a way through the 10 man wall. OB3s openly shut up shop and pull rank, Billy is now marked by 2 players, one which is a little keen and keeps pulling him back, which the ref turns a blind eye to (or doesn’t see it!) that almost sees an exchange of blows as the older defender goads the young forward to strike him, not rising to it, he chooses to use a few colourful words instead

Full time and a hum-dinger of a game which is a hard loss to take. The slow start cost the 7s and the inability to change formation in the second half could have prevented a goal or two. It’s all a learning curve which was discussed in length after the game (which is a positive). The 7s still missing key players know they dropped the points as opposed to losing them, which is something different from last year

With a week off due to the Vets Game, which sees a call up for the 7s management team of Martin, Steve & David, the 7s next outing is away to Old Sales 3rd  on the 28th … which was a horrific 7-1 loss in the SALC. Let’s hope we can avenge the score and get back to winning ways


MOTM: Scoring 4 and still on the losing side, very unlucky to really only have 1 half against a defence that could not contain the young lad. Mention also to Daban who could have been the difference between a point or so, as to how much difference he made on the pitch when he arrived. And Josh… Mr Reliable.

DOTD: DABAN…. Turning up at half time…. What could have been if he turned up on time!


Team: Kieran, Josh, Dan, Martin, Steve, Jacob, Luke, David, Andrew, Billy, Ryan


Under 9s vs Hampton and Richmond Stags – 15.10.17

15th October 2017

Under 9s                                                                              3
Hampton and Richmond Boro Yth Stags

Scorers: Lewis, Faris, Percy
MOM: Percy

We returned back at The Hood this week for a 10.30 kick off against Hampton and Richmond Stags.  Following last week’s win another before the half term break would be nice.  Excitement was in the air as we received the message in the week that the new yellow kit was ready for the boys to wear and debuting on home soil.  We were told to turn up early so the boys could change into it, all boys were there ready, even Faris.  They changed on the side line and before it got dirty, posed in the goal for the team photo.  The second message of the week received late Saturday from Roy, the referee had cried off due to injury and was looking for a willing volunteer; well let’s just say Roy really knows how to silence a bunch of parents.  No joy with a volunteer or replacement ref on the day, so Roy stepped up and took the whistle.

Starting line up this week was Max in goal, Ollie and Archie in defence, midfield of Lewis, Louis and Percy and Harry up top. On the bench were Joe, Faris and returning from his holiday, David. With the boys looking smart in their new kit we started were we left off having majority of the possession in the first 10-15 minutes but again just couldn’t find the net. You could see that the training Tuesday nights were paying off as the boys were now playing as a team, talking and passing to each other.  It fell to a defensive error, which lead to the oppo who hadn’t really threatened our half scoring the first goal, slotting the ball into the near post. We kicked off and continued to press the oppo.  Three changes half way through first half, Archie, Ollie and Louis off for Faris, Joe and David.  We equalised with a peach of a shot and goal from Lewis, left foot looping over the stretching keeper.  1 – 1 and back in the game.  That’s how it stayed until the half time whistle.  It was looking like one of those games where we had most of the possession but not finding the goal.

Couple of changes made and the second half began, the oppo also making some changes which made them slightly stronger.  Confusion is only what I can put it down to what should have been our second goal.  What looked like a handball by the oppo and then the ball scrambling over the line?  The shouts of hand ball and confirmation from the oppo manager lead to the stand in ref giving Merton a penalty.  Up stood Percy, unfortunately his shot was saved by their keeper. What I would say is that their goals were mostly due to defensive errors and not clearing the ball quick enough.  Including one that could well have done with goal line technology. We did manage to get two more goals but it wasn’t enough to level the match.  Faris scoring bottom left near post from an assist from Archie and Percy slotting the ball bottom right corner of the goal. I do believe that this is a game we should have won, given that we had most of the possession and best chances.  The boys are definitely improving game by game and were unlucky in this match.

MOM went to Percy who has shown consistency over the last couple of matches and managed to get on the score sheet as well, well deserved.

Observations this week: Stuart had a run in at Percy’s Saturday game with a sunglasses wearing man (Terminator) who didn’t like the decibels being shouted from the sideline or Stuart’s jokes to lighten the situation!! and Roy’s watch doesn’t do Fergie time.

No game next week due to the international break (half term).  Potential friendly on 29th against Wongas at 11.00 where there is a Merton club day for the youth section.

Under 14s vs Twickenham Tigers – 15.10.17

Merton U14 V Twickenham Tigers


Score: 2-1


Goalscorers: Liam & Kieran




GK – Milo

RB – Liam

CB – Nikoy

CB – Entri

LB – McKenzie

CM – Eddie

CM – Daniel

RW – Justin

LW – Hugo

CAM – Diego

ST – Kieran


MOM: Liam


After several performances lacking energy a return to home comforts would provide the spark for a strong Merton performance. Playing on our home ground led to renewed levels of confidence and Merton started the game strongly, dominating from the off and creating a lot of chances. Our fullbacks were pushing forward well and Kieran was finding a lot of space in the middle to run onto, and midway through the first half a Merton player was swiped in the box and a penalty was awarded. Unfortunately Nikoy hit his penalty straight at the keeper and it remained 0-0. Nikoy quickly atoned for his missed penalty with a magnificent jumping goal-line clearance from a fierce free kick that seemed destined for the top corner. Just before half time the breakthrough came through our right back Liam whose shot was helped by the many bodies obstructing the goalkeepers view in the box as it hit the back of the net.


More of the same followed after half time with a great shot from the edge of the box by Theo that bounced off the top of the crossbar. Some sloppy play allowed Twickenham a way back into the game after a poor touch left Milo stranded and their forward slotted home into a virtually unguarded net. Merton pushed for the winner throughout the second half and anything less than 3 points would have been cruel as they worked tirelessly to find the killer finish. 2 minutes from time Kieran provided the winner that Merton deserved after his mazy run into the box was capped by a neat finish across his body that found the bottom corner. A fantastic match played in great spirit that ended in victory for Merton and we hope for more of the same next week. 

6s vs Old Wilsonians 5s – 07.10.17

Match Report – 07/10/2017 vs Old Wilsonians 5 HOME

Talk during the week was to keep the sixes feet grounded after the resounding win against the fives the previous week.  We knew from previous games against Old Wilsonians that we expected a tough game against a good club, so formations and tactics were discussed in the days leading up to the game to try and get the best out of us.

The Saturday arrived and with the usual players running late (George!), the returning gaffer was of course stressed out.  The late arrival of the ref also rose stress levels even higher.

With a starting 11 of Merton’s number 1 Swanny in goal, defence of Andy, Chappell Grant and Reece (yes the gaffer dropped himself!), midfield of Callum, George, Ty and Gresty with a strike force of Nick and Tony up top.  The bench consisted of Trey, LOCKE!!!!!! and Pete.

With the pre match talk dominated of how tall the oppo were over and done with it was time for the game.

Well all I can say is WHAT A PERFORMANCE from the sixes.  We got off to flier and were 4-0 up within 15 minutes or so – goals from Nick, Tony x 2 and Chappell (who nearly missed!).

I can honestly say that we were having a red letter day and everything we tried seem to work.  Further goal in the first half from Callum and Tony saw us with a 6-0 half time lead.

Half time team talk was that of not being to cocky and playing the Merton way and not to humiliate the opposition (in terms of arrogance!).

I can’t remember exactly how the second half went – but it was pretty much the same.  More goals from Tony, taking his tally to 6 in the game.  A goal from Pete and the goal of the game from Trey (lovely strike in the top corner!).  The final score was 11-0.  I’m not sure what was wrong with Old Wilsonians this week as they seem to be off the pace and hardly threatened.  I am also guessing that as the 7’s beat the lower team by the same score, they may have had a shortage of players (much like Merton this week).

It was nice to get a result whereby we were so dominant and take all of our chances for once.

Next week it is away to Actonians so let’s hope we can get another positive result!

Man of the Match:

The whole squad played really well and this was our best game this season! There were nominations for Mr Goal Machine Tony (obviously) but the overall majority voted for Andy at right back who had a solid game and is turning into a great find for the sixes!

Dick of the Day:  clear winner – Callum.  Missed from one yard and tried a scorpion kick as didn’t want to ruffle his hair and head the ball.