Merton III XI    vs  Old Parkonians IV XI      Sat  18th Feb

The Great Escape…..???

A beautiful spring afternoon presented itself to Merton’s 3’s at the Hood. After the sheer stupidity of the vandals earlier in the week, Merton wanted to bring back some pride to the fortress that was the Hood.

Old Skool Rhythm and Blues was playlist of choice, and the music came flowing out of the (pointlessly smashed) dressing room windows.

Merton were in good spirits following the successful 2 wins on the bounce, unheard of this season!

The opposition was a much changed team of Old Parkonians with only 1 or 2 familiar faces from the team we played previously. Also the average size of these players was a little concern, but this didn’t put off Merton, who were focused on getting the all important 3points needed, to keep their fears of relegation at bay.

Pleasantries exchanged, the game kicked off. Old Parkonians had the better first 10min, but then Merton found their stride. A lovely interchange between Darcy and Glen saw Fitz clean through. 1-0 and Merton hadn’t even broken a sweat.

Merton continued to dominate for the rest of the half, with countless chances created and some even captured on film by the eagle eyed Mr Noble. However, Merton were unable to convert any, which has been the story of the season. On the positive though, as the great ‘Wayne Shaw’ once said, (whilst eating a pie) “Shooting off target is the start of something great… once you know your off target, you are half way there to shooting on target, which is a real game changer”.

Not much else happened in the first half of note, Mustard decided to take a throw in from the wrong pitch and wondered why he could only throw 2m in distance. Mr Happy continued to shout words of encouragement to the rest of his team mates and Ricki’s dog watched on from the sidelines, basking in the sunshine, dreaming of hotdogs.

Half time came and went with all the classic cliches that you have all read a million times before! Big push in the first 10min, Next goal is vital etc.

The 2nd half started much like the first, with Old Parkonians starting stronger and Dan making a number of good saves. Merton finally found their passing boots again and began to knock the ball around nicely. A few more missed opportunities came and went, before Fitz was maliciously brought down by the oppo keeper. Clear pen.

After much debate, the clubs leading penalty taker set the ball down. A whistle went, boom… goal…. cue celebration. However, it was a whistle from the other game. The ref made Darcy take the penalty again…. boom. Goal. Neatly slotted into the same corner as the previous penalty. “Nerves of steal”, some were heard saying on the side line.

Meton now had a 2-0 advantage and it stayed this way until the 83min.

As mentioned, the Old Parkonians had a significant height advantage, with every player being 6’2″ plus. On the other hand, Merton’s tallest player was probably Glen or Neal who are an impressive 5’7″ at best. I’m not sure why it took the oppo so long to work this out, but when they did, Merton were in trouble.

After 8 consecutive corners, with Merton unable to clear their lines, an oppo player broke free and whipped in another cross, which was nodded into the goal. 2-1.

Oppo now had the wind in their sails… 88min went past, 89, 90min and another set of 4 corners came Merton’s way. An exact replica of the first goal made it 2-2.

Heart break for the boars who’s defence had been solid until the 83min.

The game was restated with only seconds left on the clock… tick tock… 5mins later,  oppo broke down the left, crossed the ball into the back post, which was promptly put back into the mixer for the striker to score another header. 2-3.

Merton looked by far the better team for 83mins, however like the majority of the other games this season, they found a way to mess it up and lose it.

Some harsh, but fair, words were exchanged in the dressing room, which left each player looking at his own commitment and fitness levels for next season.

Everyone returned to the bar for a beverage and to let off some steam.

Last game of the season Sat… Can Merton 3’s turn over a new leaf this side of Spring?

Goals: Fitz, Darcy

MoM: Dan
DoD: Darcy

Posted in Match Reports 3s

Maybe it was just the warmth and sunshine. After all, it would seem ridiculous on the face of it that a team who’ve lost five games on the bounce – especially with the latest being a 6-0 reverse at Polytechnic – should have reason to feel confident. But then again, this was a team who’d started to play some really good football recently, and therein lay the main reason for them feeling confident as they set foot in their hallowed turf at the sadly-vandalised Hood for this clash against mid-table Bank of England.

Even a teensy snafu with the kit being locked inside the clubhouse – thus ruling out any chance of a meaningful warm-up – could dent the good feeling and mirth as the Merton 4s embraced each other. Eventually, the key arrived, the AC Milan-style kit was quickly donned, and the lads took to the field under clear skies and warm temperatures.
The game kicked off, and was almost breathless right from the off. End-to-end stuff, with both teams showing plenty of endeavour. BOE certainly had the better of the exchanges in the first 15 minutes, with a right-footed shot that went wide of the left post, and another from range which Kieran tipped wide. They might have done better from a free header at a corner later on too.
But to focus on that would be an injustice to Merton, who were not only far steadier at the back, but offered plenty going forward too. The midfield engine, spearheaded by Sonny and Will, provided a good base, and when the ball was played out wide, the home side looked particularly dangerous. They got themselves into good positions too, but, as has been the case over the last few weeks, their finishing wasn’t clinical.
In the last 10 minutes of the half, two crucial things happened though. At one end, Kieran made an outstanding reflex save when their striker looked sure to score. And then at the other end, in the dying minutes before the break, Mike Vogt sent a superb cross-field ball to Aaron. He nudged the ball down, it fell kindly, and he lashed it home with that deadly left boot from 10 yards out to make it 1-0.
Delirium for Merton, and what a way to go into the interval. Nothing but positive vibes were shared, but there was a determination in them to make it count. In the reverse fixture against these opponents, Merton had enjoyed the same half-time score, but shot themselves in the foot by going on the defensive.
This time though, they took the game to the oppo as soon as the whistle sounded for the resumption. Aaron was running riot on the right wing, and Merton enjoyed plenty of possession. And it stemmed almost entirely from Sonny, who was nothing short of outstanding at the heart of the midfield. His work rate was relentless, and Bank of England could hardly get a kick. Merton delivered wave after wave of attacks, and should have really scored earlier than they did.
In fact, they should have been given what was a stonewall penalty as well, but the ref – who it must be said was otherwise superb – seemed to bottle it on a foul that would surely have been called anywhere else on the pitch. Nevertheless, Merton were not to be denied, and eventually, after many goalmouth scrambles and missed opportunities, the second goal arrived. Aaron’s delivery was meekly parried by their keeper, and the ball bobbled around and eventually landed on the head of Dom. He had the simple task of nodding it over what was left of the defence, and the ball nestled gloriously in the net.
2-0. Merton had their crucial second, and Dom his first of 2017. May the floodgates now open.
More importantly, he’d now set Merton firmly on course for victory. He might have had another a few minutes later, as a delightful through ball had him one on one with the keeper. It wasn’t to be though, as the keeper thwarted his effort with a good block.
On the flip side, Bank of England did have one dangerous attack, which came from a Merton error. However, Kieran timed his charge off his line to perfection, and the combination of his presence and Will cleaning up meant that the visitors had been snuffed out.
Indeed, the final 10 minutes were a masterclass in game management, as Merton maintained their grip on their opponents to see out what turned into a relatively comfortable win. But it was comfortable only because the lads had worked their socks off, chasing everything down for the cause, and pulling in the same direction for each other. All 13 players who set foot on the field had played their part, and, even if long overdue, had finally patched it all together to put on a display of which we’ve known we’re capable all along.
Let’s use it now and finish the season strong. There’s plenty more good things to come from this team. Saturday was the proof of the pudding.
Goals: Loftus, D Plumridge
MOTM: Sonny Kennedy

Team: Kieran Lee (GK), Ed Plaistow, Mike Todt, Joe Plumridge, John Gridley, Will Harrison, Michael Vogt, Chris Outred, Sonny Kennedy, Aaron Loftus, Dom Plumridge

Subs: Dan Gridley, Frankie Kaligorou

Posted in Match Reports 4s

Today’s youth results, some very tough games today, but the lads have done well. 
U9s lost 4-1 to Wangas Youth
U11s No game
U13s beat G4G FC 5-2 and move into second in the division 3pts ahead of third place and closing in on the leaders who are 8pts ahead but we have 2 games in hand and have yet to play them.
U14s drew 2-2 with AC Fulham in an epic top of the table game, we stay top but it’s tight.
U15s lost 5-4 in another equally important match against Wallington Wanderers.
Big week next Sunday at the Hood as U11s host Roehampton Rangers in the Cup semifinal and U13s, U14s, U15s are all at home. Get down there and support the future of Merton FC!

Posted in Uncategorized

Todays Results – After a dismal week with vandalism at the Hood the 4s and 6s did their best to lighten the gloom. The 4s beat Bank of England 2-0 and the 6s beat Old Wilsonians 7-1. The 3s lost 3-2 to Old Parks after being 2-0 up. That is how it has gone. The 5s lost 2-1 at Kew somewhat unluckily and the 7s lost 9-0 to a strong Old Alleyns side. The 1s suffered their worst defeat of the season 5-0 to BOE and the 2s lost 1-0 to South Bank.

Pics from that game are Connor Murphy (M0M) and Sherbs DOD.

Posted in Uncategorized

I will keep this short and sweet as not to prompt further complaints from the Carshalton hierarchy as per usual when we mention the fact they shouldn’t be in our league etc…. so here goes!
Merton 6’s went into this top of the table clash a bit undercooked due to postponements and lack of game time. So when everybody arrived on time, the management was full of hope of a positive result. The squad was pretty much the same that has got us into the good league position we currently occupy, so there was no need to change this on a weekly basis and pick players from other Merton squads to strengthen.
The game started and Merton were very good off the mark, with challenges being won and some good passing in midfield. Unfortunately, Carshalton’s direct game with balls over the top were catching us out and was no surprise when they cut in from our right and a shot squirmed through Swanny’s hands to make it 1-0.
From this point on, Merton really upped their game and gave a really great display and caused Carshalton no end of problems and bar some great saves from their keeper we should have been at least level. Again though we were caught on the break, and a powerful long range effort lobbed Swanny (the ball was about 3 feet off the floor, sorry Swanny!) and Carshalton went 2-0 ahead.
Merton immediately hit back with a great move that George B finished off. Then after it was attack after attack from Merton and we really should have been level. Unfortunately, we didn’t take our chances where as Carshalton did and again they scored just before half time making it 3-1.
We were very unlucky and should not have 3-1 down with the chances we created and the half time team talk was one of a positive note. A few changes were made to freshen things up and we started again! The second half started with Merton on the back foot and maybe our heads were still in the first half when we felt hard done by. Chances still came our way with George missing a really good chance to get us back in the game, but to be fair Carshalton were the team in charge.
Then came the sour note of the game whereby Spence who was having a great game, was knocked off balance whilst shielding the ball out of play, and took a nasty fall on his wrist. It did not look good and was now pointing in the wrong direction and with him is great deal of pain, was forced off and straight to hospital. A while later we got the results of a double fracture and dislocation!! Very nasty, but thanks to Rat for taking him to the local A and E.
After this our heads didn’t really seem to be in the game and it was no surprise to see Swanny being lobbed again from a really well placed free kick to make it 4-1! Sorry mate!!
Being 4-1 down didn’t stop Carshalton trying to kick us off the park, and some of their players were lucky not to see red. But as the game was edging towards the end they got a 5th after a dubious penalty was given and the skipper booked for his protest. The penalty was awful and Swanny made a good save, but unfortunately was beaten by the re-bound. 5-1 final score.
On a positive not, we have had our two spankings from them and both our nearest rivals are still to play them so let’s focus on promotion!!

Now for Man of the Match, and as no votes were cast, I will give it to the following:
MoM: Special mentions to the skipper (thought he had one of his better games!), Pete who worked hard up top, Chris and Ty for non stop running and Spense! BUT I am going to give it Chappell, battled hard and never gave up even when backs were up against the wall!
DoD: The skipper is not getting it this week!! Could give it to Spence for a broken hand (your supposed to break legs in football), could give it to the whole squad for not backing the skipper up when there was some argy bargy! But I’m afraid it has to go to Swanny this week, two lobs ;o) , a very slight error for the first and should have saved the penalty!!! (Please don’t leave us though!!!!!!)

Posted in Match Reports 6s

The job of this weeks match report goes out to the new newsletter editor – Samuel Singer-Ripley. “cut out the middle man” was mentioned but I just think nobody wanted the job of being rude enough to write terrible things about my shocking performance.
It was a cold day, snowing in fact and many expected the game to be called off – which would’ve saved me a lot of grief. South Bank started strong with a number of attacks in the early stages of the game. Putting balls into the box but were easily enough dealt with.
But about 20 minutes into the first half the ball was lost in Mertons own half and the break down the right hand side of the pitch, with a threw ball left a one on one which was easily enough put away from inside the box as it bulged into the far side of the net. Merton heads dropped as South Bank could be heard yelling “Nil-Nil Boys”.
Another goal soon followed. We won the ball back on the edge of our own box, in an attempt to break quickly, the center half accidently booted the ball into the behind of the other center half which fell nicely for the South Bank striker, I was off my line and wasn’t anticipating the quick change of position and was lobbed.
Heads fell further and confidence plumpted. Dan, the manager, knew he had do something to change things around. Malcolm came on in an attempt to hold the ball higher up the pitch. But as the first half was coming to a close. The Merton goalkeeper, Me, attempted to spring a 40-yard pass across field which barely made it 10 feet, which again fell kindly for the lucky South Bank striker. The scruffed ball meant that South Bank were 3-0 up. Merton looked blindly at their goalkeeper in disbelief.
Dan came on in the final few minutes, as we tried to rescue the game we started to move the ball quicker. A break down the right flank and a ball brilliantly held up by Malcolm. Unsure if he meant to do it he turned a defender on the edge of the box and squared the ball to Noor who expertly put away the one on one with the keeper. 3-1 and went into half time hopeful.
The second half was supposed to be the brilliant merton rescue but within the first 5 minutes of play, a simple ball over the top of the defence which wasn’t dealt with by the keeper meant that South Bank were 4-1 up and the half-time talk went out the window.
If anything the goal turned on the wild boars. and with a wild hit and hope the ball was smacked as the Southbank Goalkeeper. Tom R and Merton FC went wild only 2 more goal to go and the South Bank goalkeeper looked to mimic the Merton Goalkeeper who was useless. Another Hit and hope moment by Scott that had some movement on the ball tricked the keeper who flapped at the ball 4-3 GAME ON.
The mighty boars, were rewarded as the biggest of them all, made a rush for the ball as it was played through. Malcolm who thought he wouldn’t make it in a million years managed to toe-poke the ball into the back of the net.
4-4!!! However the amazing could not be. and at the end of the day the Mighty Yellows, deserved the win. But were held to a disappointed draw.
Line up -Sam, Martin, Josh, Tom R, Andrew, Billy, Dave, Adam, Noor, Jon, Scott. Subs: Malcolm, Dan, Tom J

Posted in Match Reports 7s

Merton arrived on a freezing cold Sunday morning at Bedfont FC.
Not joking you could touch planes as they flew over being so close to ground.
We got changed in new white kit…looked really cool.
1st half was hard work as we battled to break Bedfont down.
The away team goalkeeper pulled off some great saves and 0.0 at half time.
2nd half we stepped up pressed high up pitch and gave them no room.
Rohan came on to midfield and put solid tackles in which shook up the opposition.
Steve Gumble then unleashed a bullet shot rifle into back of net…..this opened flood gates…..another goal from William and Cormac.
In fairness Bedfont did well to hold and we really did not play well…..was a cold morning.
We now march onto Semi Final for 2nd year in a row….big game Sunday against Roehampton to decide if we can make another final.
Whatever result we have a great team based on solid work ethic and amazing support.
Darren manager called me during week to wish us well and reiterated what a grwat bunch of discipline boys we have who are credit to club and thenselves….very humbling.
Wish us luck we will need it.

Posted in Under 11s Reports

NAME: Dan Ally. 

TEAM: 7s/Manager.

POSITION: Defender/Manager.

BIRTH DATE: 04/03/94.

BIRTH PLACE: Kingston. 

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Reigate priory, Kingswood FC. 

1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

 I’m an all round builder but my speciality is bricklaying, patios and driveways. I always make sure iv got time for playing football, going fishing, playing guitar, going to gigs/festivals and going out. I’m very laid back and just goes with the flow. 


2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

I Searched for local football teams In my area on the Internet and found Merton FC and now I’m here.


3. What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?

 Probably becoming the 7s manager. 


4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

 LA Galaxy. Why? Because it’s in los Angeles lets face it who wouldn’t wanna live there? 


5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

Listening to Taylor Swift in the car driving to home and away games always gets me in the mood before a match, but I do have a habit of always forgetting the kit. 


6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

To Continue playing strong and focused in every game, the aim is to finish at least in the top four this season. 


Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): premier league Zlatan Ibrahimovic. 

Childhood Team: Liverpool fc. 

Favourite team in the UK: Liverpool fc.

Favourite team outside the UK: Real Madrid 

Childhood Hero: Ronaldo(Brazilian Ronaldo) 

Favourite Food: Fried Chicken and Chips

Favourite Drink: Southern Comfort & lemonade.

Favourite Band: Red Hot Chili Peppers. 

Posted in Player Profiles

NAME: Dan Kelly

TEAM: Merton 2s

POSITION: Centre Forward

BIRTH DATE: 16/10/81

BIRTH PLACE: Great Yarmouth

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Couple of clubs back in York: Heslington XI, CPP, but Merton since 2005.

1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

I work in market research which wrongly gets equated with me doing surveys. It’s not that exciting. I like to travel, be active (football, climbing, hiking) am basically super competitive about everything and anything. 

2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

 Moved to Wimbledon in 2005, googled and found Merton. Came down for training and Max got me into the 4s squad with Scicluna. Got myself a few goals early on and that was it really.

3. What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?

 Winning the title with the 3s a few years back. And back to back club top scorer awards.

4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

Super Tottenham from the Lane (although not for much longer) 

5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

Never wear 7 or 10 (I don’t have the ball playing skills to back it up). Make sure you score in the warm up.  

6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

 Promotion with the 2s (although tough now) and finishing top scorer for them. Would love for the 3s to stay up as well – best of luck to them at the weekend


Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): Connor Murphy. Relentlessly solid.

Childhood Team: Spurs

Favourite team in the UK: Spurs

Favourite team outside the UK: There is football outside the UK?

Childhood Hero: Gary Lineker and for a brief phase I remember wanting to be Eddie the Eagle so much I almost drowned “ski jumping” into the sea. 

Favourite Food: Pizza

Favourite Drink: Ale

Favourite Band: Pass. 

Posted in Player Profiles

NAME: David Quainton

TEAM: Handsome

POSITION: CF, though, let’s face it, I’ve played everywhere. A season a left-back proved it’s not my natural home.

BIRTH DATE: 07/06/1981

BIRTH PLACE: London (Westminster, to be precise)

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Stringfellows, Book Club, Teaching Vanny To Read Good Club, Sinjuns Grammarians.


1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

Raconteur, handsome go-getter, purveyor of joie de vivre, standard-bearer for literacy within Merton FC. Man most likely (after Vanny) to dig-out D’Arcy[sic] and Vin for being fat. I work in PR and do writing, innit. For EE. So if you’re on the UK’s biggest and fastest mobile network and have experienced no signal or appalling customer service it’s not my fault, but I do know the person responsible.  


2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

My Sinjuns teammates were all getting a little long in the tooth and Messrs Willgoss and Jennings had long extolled the virtues of Merton FC. Clappers said I talked too much at my first training session, but I knew he loved me really. My keenness at training briefly earned me the name ‘new Mustard’ which I took as a compliment; now I’m not so sure… Also I accidentally fouled Chris Rayner about three times a session.


3. What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?

January 2016, an away match for the 1s against someone (I never know who). Quainton, Rayner and Willgoss on the bench. All three chucked on late in a tug-of-war 0-0. Bosher scores, we concede immediately, but we’re desperate for the win. Willgoss win the ball at right back and clears to 40-ish yards, I outsprint the defence, round a centreback on the halfway line, and race through with nothing left on the clock. Chuffing away to my left is, not a defender, but Chris Bloody Rayner. I’ve got the goddamn sense to square. Rayner, cold as ice, slots home. Everyone goes chicken oriental. It was a special, special moment.


4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

I already play for QPR. Look-up Jamie Mackie.

Otherwise, aside from the obvious Merseyside Reds, I’d go Fiorentina, because Batigol and Florence.

5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

Shirt number 3 is mine.


6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

I expect to score goals. I’ll miss some as well, but I will also score, and get injured. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.



Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): Paul Pearce, N’Golo Kante.

Childhood Team: Liverpool FC

Favourite team in the UK: Liverpool FC

Favourite team outside the UK: St Pauli, the ultimate hipster side

Childhood Hero: Roald Dahl

Favourite Food: Paella

Favourite Drink: Dr Pepper

Favourite Band: Radiohead

Posted in Player Profiles