Month: February 2017
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NAME: Michael Gubby
TEAM: Various
POSITION: GK (with the odd cameo on field)
BIRTH DATE: 10th May 1993
BIRTH PLACE: Basingstoke
PREVIOUS CLUBS: Various teams closer to home
1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?
I’m a product manager for BT, managing the process of changing prices that our customer’s pay. Outside of that im a lot less boring…
Love listening to music and going to gigs of various genres and watching and playing a variety of sports. Oh and getting drunk quite often with friends
2. How did you end up at Merton FC?
Through a few friends who work at BT with me and play for Merton
3. What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?
Picking up MOTM and DOTD on debut (for the 3s)
4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?
I would play for Man United. Been a fan since my dad made me a fan as a young kid
5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?
Always put my gloves on last…
6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.
I would love a clean sheet or a point at all on the goalkeepers Golden Glove table
RAPID FIRE:
Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): Zlatan!
Childhood Team: Man United
Favourite team in the UK: Man United
Favourite team outside the UK: The Burkina Faso national team
Childhood Hero: Peter Schmeichel
Favourite Food: Nachos
Favourite Drink: Cherry Coke
Favourite Band: Foals
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As the snow tumbled down, 13 men who, by Saturday, don the mighty yellow, expectantly checked their phones that morning, with the text from Scholesy that the game against Poly would be called off seemingly a racing certainty.
But it never came, and an almost reluctant Merton 4s slowly gathered in the change room. The late arrival of the manager meant the kit was hurriedly put on – not that anyone really fancied a warm up anyway.
Given the adverse conditions, the pitch was in surprisingly good nick, and after some encouraging performances in recent weeks, Merton said about asserting themselves.
But the first couple of minutes were almost a perfect microcosm of the 4s season so far. For about 120 seconds from the kick off, they pinged the ball around beautifully, getting ball to feet, and building two very dangerous attacks in the process.
It didn’t yield a goal though. Well, not for Merton anyway. One hoof upfield from Poly, a mix up in defence, and the hosts gleefully poked it home. And just like that, a deflated Merton were 1-0 down.
The lads kept their heads up though, and, impressively, they kept playing football. After 15 minutes, it is fair to say Poly had barely had a kick, and yet were 1-0 up. Not only had Merton bossed the midfield, but they’d opened up their opponents down the wings a number of times too.
Yet they were always vulnerable on the counter, and that’s how Poly’s second came about. Their striker got in behind, and Kieran initially made a fine save. Unfortunately, he lost his footing a touch on the follow up, and his palmed second save could only send the ball over his head and rolling agonisingly into the net. 2-0 Poly.
And still Merton kept going, as the midfield continued to have the better of things, with Sonny and Akram doing a fine job in the middle of the park. But then came a nasty injury to Chris Outred, as he clashed heads with a Poly player as both went in for a full-blooded header. And full blooded it was, as an astonishing amount of the red stuff came from Chris’s forehead. After a few minutes of checking for concussion and performing some relatively amateur first aid bandage work, Chris was escorted from the field. We do wish him a speedy recovery.
The third and fourth goals came just after half time, although this scribe was in the clubhouse attending to the wounded at the time, so no details of how it happened are currently available.
There is no fun in getting a battering. But credit to the Yellows, they kept going, and still continued to produce some pockets of good football. That said, Poly were by now the more dominant side, and as injuries accumulated for Merton, they became very stretched.
Poly’s 5th goal came about from some good interplay down the left, although the shot which finished it was something of a worldie. It left Kieran with no price whatsoever. The same could not be said of the 6th goal though, as Merton were caught out trying to play it from the back.
At the other end, Ryan Burchell made a good run that almost yielded a goal, while Danny Gridley also made a fine surge upfield, which led to a decent chance.
But it wasn’t to be, and the final whistle mercifully sounded to end a bitterly disappointing day. After a result like that, the acid test was going to be just how acidic the recriminations were in the change room. Yet nothing of the sort ensued. Instead, the lads shared frustration, but took pride in the quality of football they produced. True, the sloppy goals they continue to give away, and their profligacy in front of goal are a big concern. Yet in amongst all that is also some very, very good football. It’s time to convert that into a result against Bank of England next week.
Team: Kieran Lee (GK), Ed Plaistow, Joe Plumridge, John Gridley, Dan Rist, Dan Gridley, Akram Choudhary, Chris Outred, Frankie Kaligorou, Sonny Kennedy, Dom Plumridge
Subs: Clive Corrigan, Ryan Burchell, Mike Todt
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Youth section U9s lost 4-0 in a friendly against Carshalton Athletic from a higher division. Good game and our lads played well. In the big game of the day, our U11s win 3-0 away at Bedfont Eagles and move into Cup Semis. Great stuff lads!
U13s game cancelled due to oppo not having enough players available to play.
U14s won 10-1 against Met Police Reds
U15s had no fixture today.
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Today’s results –
1s and 2s games called off due to pitch condition.
3s no game
5s cancelled due to opposition not able to field a team.
4s lost 6-0 at Poly Played some good passing football but defensive lapses and failure to take chances made a big difference. Chris Outred off with head injury but great emergency aid at Poly.
6s lost 5-1 to table topping Carshalton.
Sadly the 6s Chris Spencer suffered a dislocated wrist and double break – nasty injury after a heavy fall defending manfully.
His number 5 short was cut off and is currently on sale on eBay .. hope to see you back before the end of season Spanner – special mention to 1s player Rat who took Chris to A&E
7s best result a 4-4 draw with South bank Cuaco
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When news streamed in that Ram was hanging up his boots as editor of the Merton Way, an ever-swelling readership shivered at the prospect of losing their Friday weekly reading treat. How on earth would the Merton faithful now occupy themselves whilst consuming their afternoon coffee and bagel?
But, after a hiatus of just a solitary week, up stepped young Sam Singer-Ripley to the plate, and as you can see from his first edition of the newsletter, the baton has been passed to a very capable pair of hands, and the Merton Way dream lives on in fine fettle.
We thank Sam hugely for taking on this role, and giving of his time. A club like ours can only thrive through the enthusiasm and support of volunteers, and we are grateful to have true Merton men like Sam on board. But with a few important committee positions set to open up over the summer, we need more of you guys to follow Sam’s lead, and ensure seamless transitions across the board so that our club can continue to go from strength to strength.
So, as we welcome our new editor, we also extend a call to arms to the inner passion we know you have for the mighty Yellow. You can help – so please don’t be shy to come forward!
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NAME: Ryan Burchell
TEAM: 4s
POSITION: RM/RB/Sub
BIRTH DATE: 09/10/97
BIRTH PLACE: Kingston
PREVIOUS CLUBS: None
- Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?
I’m currently a team leader in training at Sainsbury’s and I’m doing my best to balance a job in retail and playing football… Unsuccessfully at the minute! I’d describe myself as a friendly, wannabe funnyman who’s always up for a laugh and a beer or two.
- How did you end up at Merton FC?
Been watching since I was about 10 years old with my Dad playing for the 6s and when I was finally old enough I put on the yellow shirt and have loved it ever since.
- What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?
Up until a month ago this would’ve been winning Player of The Season for the 6s in my second season but now it has to be scoring my first Merton hatrick.
- If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?
I would play for my boyhood club Arsenal, been a fan since I was little (Much to the disappointment of my Dad) and walking out onto the Emirates would be a dream come true.
- Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?
Not really, apart from praying Scholesy doesn’t put me on the bench
- Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.
Hopefully be able to see the 4s pull off a miraculous recovery and avoid relegation, as well as the 5s continuing their good form and winning their league.
RAPID FIRE:
Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): Will Harrison
Childhood Team: Arsenal
Favourite team in the UK: Arsenal
Favourite team outside the UK: Borrusia Dortmund
Childhood Hero: Thierry Henry
Favourite Food: Gammon Steak and chips
Favourite Drink: Bulmers
Favourite Band: Not a band but Ed Sheeran (appropriately)
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NAME: Sam Singer Ripley
TEAM: 5s
POSITION: Goalkeeper
BIRTH DATE: 7/10/1997
BIRTH PLACE: Mitcham
PREVIOUS CLUBS: T&M U16
- Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?
I am a student at Roehampton university, I study Sport and Exercise Science. Other than football my hobbies include cycling and eating
- How did you end up at Merton FC?
I was just searching around on the internet for local football clubs at the beginning of last season because I stopped playing football a while ago after a nasty injury, I came across Merton FC’s website and decided to give it a go – I never looked back
- What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?
I’ve only been here a couple of seasons, but hopefully this season, getting promoted with the 5’s would be great. My worst moment, as many of you probably already know – Was being taken away in an ambulance after an ‘off the field’ accident occurred.
- If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?
Liverpool, they definitely have a goalkeeping problem, so I think I’d be a great contender. It would also be awesome to play for the team I support.
- Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?
I always make sure I’ve got my tape on the correct way. As well as making sure that I’ve got my lucky gloves on hand. I also try and make sure I go to bed a little earlier than normal.
- Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.
I hope to get promoted with the 5’s and keep up my challenge for the Golden Glove award.
Rapid Fire
Player of the season (so far): Andy Bitmead – Scoring hatricks for fun
Favourite position: CAM but I can’t play football so I play in goal
Favourite team in the UK: Liverpool FC
Favourite team outside the UK: Borussia Dortmund
Childhood Hero: Jens Lehmann
Favourite Food: Pizza huts’ Chicken, bacon and sweetcorn pizza
Favourite Drink: Dr. Pepper
Favourite Band/Artist: Imagine Dragons
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Our story begins with a handsome man from the regions that, for the purposes of this match report, we shall call ‘Bill Baylor’. Though long since departed for foreign shores, Bill once played sports with a host of friendly folk at a club that, for the purposes of this match report, we shall call ‘Burton FC’.
Burton was full of so many attractive men that one of its many fraternities was known as ‘Team Attractive’, and they were renowned for dazzling lady people as well as any opposition sporting outfits that they played and defeated. Bill was undoubtedly the most attractive member of Team Attractive, for he dazzled the most brightly. And yet, another attractive (and in this case intelligent) member of Team Attractive, who for the purposes of this match report we shall call Dave Wayne-Tonne, was somewhat confused.
“Why,” enquired Wayne-Tonne over a perfectly chosen beverage. “Why is Bill, the finest of swordsmen and a clear Southern Amateur League Senior Division 1, so often seen squiring lady people that one might objectively say are Southern Amateur League Junior Division 3?”
“DW,” replied Bill. “Why did you say ‘Bill’ just then and not ‘you’?”
“Good question,” said Wayne-Tonne. “I think it’s because this is a made-up story forming part of an somewhat off-kilter match report, though a story itself based upon many truths.”
“Ah, then I shall answer,” said Bill, placing his hand on Wayne-Tonne’s awesome shoulder. “You see, making love to beautiful ladies is much like scoring goals. I do plenty of both, but you’ve got to accept that occasionally you will have a a bit of a mare. The thing is, if you keep putting it out there and your balls end up in the right place, you have to consider that a success.”
**********
Though its message is somewhat esoteric, I was reminded of this story at halftime during Merton 3s’ not-at-all-epic 3-2 defeat of some numpties from Essex.
“We’re playing REALLY well,” Mustard was telling the team, playing at manager for the day after giving himself the cold shoulder. “I don’t know how we’ve not scored more goals.”
“I need to go and do a Jason Puncheon,” I (DQ, for those not keeping up) said, galloping towards the ref’s changing room for a quick ten-bob-bit. And it was on that run, and during those runs, that the story came back to me. You see I’d scored the goal that had put us 1-0 up, but really by that stage should already have secured the match ball. Twice the Ukrainian Menace, Denys, had put me through, and though once the ‘keeper saved well the second time he really didn’t have the chance. I blame the pitch.
The favour was returned on a quick break, but this time the UMD himself dragged wide, before finally the partnership struck some sort of gold via a dainty throughball and tidy outside-of-the-boot finish. 1-0. Lovely.
Bored of watching his teammates making like an unlucky Monopoly players and repeatedly passing chances, Andrew Holder Ross then chinned one of the weighty Parkonian players’ elbows. Somewhat unsurprisingly AHR’s chin came off worse, and he departed the pitch worse for wear.
Holder Ross was to return in the second half. The same cannot be said of Parkonian’s best player who appeared to break his wrist on the post during a goalmouth scramble. The scramble came from a corner generated by one of the many fine saves Dan made on the day, ensuring him a couple of MoM votes in the bar.
I was to receive no such votes. Returning from the halftime relief, not knowing whether I’d missed out on any of Mustard’s keener tactical insights, I joined 10 other determined men on the field of battle ready to enjoy a ten minute brain fart that saw us 2-1 down and making more mistakes than Donno trying to do a healthy food shop.
One chubby chancer wandered through and poked home apologetically before a corner a few minutes later resulted in a handball that Vin assures everyone in no way touched his arm. Slow motion replays reveal that, in fact, one of the Italian Stallion’s enormous moobs swayed majestically across his bicep and thwatted the ball away. But you couldn’t blame the ref for giving the penalty, nor Dan for not saving it.
My time to shine. Still giving the defence a glorious old runaround I shaved the post when one-on-one and grazed a header somewhere in the direction of the corner flag. Realising the folly of my ways, next time round I lay the ball back on the left-hand edge of the area and Jordan, who had woken-up after a slumbersome first half, proceded to curl the goal of the season into the top bag. 2-2. The jolly Scouser went on to win MoM and in no-way stick to stereotype by stealing my shower gel.
The UMD was so excited by the goal that, rather than score when given the ball on the goal-line by a galloping (and returning) Holder Ross, dummied it, lay down beside it admiringly, and punched it twice without putting it in the net. How he wasn’t sent off no-one really knows, but word is the ref really loves a hard-smoking and hard, smoking eastern European.
I scored again. May have been offside. Who cares? I celebrated two minutes later by Porborskying the keeper and, sadly, the bar, and, with the very last move of the game, aiming another delicious Glenn cross (there were quite a few) over the left-hand corner of the goal.
A 3-2 win, and a bunch of ruddy heroes involved. Notable shoutouts for the wonderfully complainsome Ricky, who caused many a defensive problem in the first half (both the oppo and Conor); our Hispanic friend and the UMD’s married couple arguments that go on the entire time they’re on the pitch together; Iain, for not knowing what E.T.A. means when questioned about arrival time, but also largely dominating the midfield; and Cookie for returning and not getting sent-off or arguing with anyone.
“I haven’t got time for this,” said the Bristolian battler, without a hint of irony, after Conor’s dual with Parkonians’ ‘solid’ left winger boiled over a bit. “Why do people argue on football pitches?”
**********
“Nah, she was terrible mate, so was yours,” Baylor said to Wayne-Tonne, as he ushered the recently boffed, and sore-yet-satisfied vixens out of his doorway. “But a score’s a score, always never forget that.”
Wayne-Tonne nodded, for he knew it was true, and he slept like a man that had missed enough chances to earn ‘Dick of the Day’, yet had the satisfaction of knowing that he alone ended the match with two goals on the scoresheet.
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Merton 2 – 1 IBIS Eagles
With last week’s disappointing cup performance well and truly forgotten about it was back to business in the league and an opportunity to do the double over IBIS Eagles down at what is quickly becoming, fortress Hood. Due to several coinciding factors including daughter’s birthday parties and Lancaster student uni reunions, the changing room was a short of a few regular senior faces. Browner was quick to regale in the spirit of ‘Norseman away’ back in 2014, another occasion when we were without key personnel although able to come away with the points due to two key factors; an early Jason Marsh thunderbolt and the big yellow Merton bus which parked itself in front of our goal for the proceeding 80 minutes. I’ll never get bored of hearing that story.
Anyways, we set up in our familiar 4-3-3 formation and looked in control of the opening exchanges with CJ Rayner and Milo looking menacing in behind the returning Tommy Rowe although the Eagles keeper remained largely untroubled. Rat and Browner were marshalling the back line in Clappers absence with confidence and authority which was great to see albeit a tad surprising given the number of goals shipped with the two of them playing there together previously! Unfortunately our promising opening came to an abrupt end soon after the 20 minute mark when some sloppy play in the middle of the park led to a breakaway down our right flank culminating in a tidy finish by their striker which, left Siri with no chance. It was their first attack of note, but for all of our possession and running but end product we didn’t have much to complain about. It could have got worse if not for a smart save by Siri and Browner clearing expertly from inside our six yard box. At the other end Tom was doing a commendable job holding the ball and brining others in to play but without the midfield getting past him we were struggling to carve out any clear cut opportunities. On the occasions that we did get the ball in the right areas, we were frustratingly lacking a bit of quality to get back on level terms
The second half began in much the same way as the first with Sam, Wilgo and Tills now becoming more dominant in the middle of the park and getting us on the front foot. The introduction of James Laughton and Els on either flank paid immediate dividends and ultimately changed the game with both causing havoc in the final third and Els almost scoring with his first touch. We were now well on top and it seemed only a matter of time before we scored. After a succession of corners Wilgo picked the ball up down the right and delivered the cross of the game to find Tills in space inside the box to coolly slot home at the second attempt (well sort of). We continued pressing and soon after we were ahead. Some cracking work from Kearnsy and Sam resulted in Els picking up the ball 25 yards out. Still with plenty to do he walked past three defenders and tucked the ball away high in to the net to send the boys in yellow wild, it was a fantastic strike and worthy winner of any game. We closed the game out with some disciplined defending to secure the three points and a proper Merton win. A fantastic team performance demonstrating the strength in depth that we now have at the club and a some very exciting young talent coming through. On to EBOG next week for a top of the table showdown.
Team: Siri, Joew Grew, Browner, Rat, Kearnsy, Sam, Wilgo, Tills (Capt), Emilio, Rayner, Tom Rowe
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After a heartening performance against Carshalton the week before, the Merton 4s had every reason to feel positive going into this relegation 6 pointer at Old Wilsonians. Despite the dire weather predictions, the game went ahead under sunny skies.
Team: Chris Outred (GK), Ed Plaistow, Dan Gridley, Joe Plumridge, John Gridley, Will Harrison, Michael Vogt, Frankie Kaligorou, Sonny Kennedy, Aaron Loftus, Dom Plumridge
Subs: Mikey Elgar, Lee Lenihan
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Merton FC Stats End of Season
