Month: October 2014

Merton Reserves Earn A Handsome Reward! A Cup Final!
AFA Surrey/ Kent Intermediate Cup Semi Final

These days, it is as likely that a Merton team will make it to a cup final as a member of Team Handsome will go on a night out and not be propositioned by a leggy blonde. It just doesn’t happen. Nevertheless, Team Handsome is full of indefatigable spirit and it brought all of it to bear (and in Sherbs case after his shower, bare) in a pulsating semi-final encounter that saw them gloriously continue their cup adventure with the defeat of first division Old Salesians at Old Schools Lane, Ewell.

It started badly; indeed, it started really badly. Straight from the kick-off a ball lost up front saw Old Salesians break forward, and a three-on-two situation translated into a neat finish and a lead after only 27 seconds. The hosts, buoyed by their early goal, then spent the next fifteen minutes making Merton look pretty ordinary. But feint heart never won fair maiden, and unattractive faces do not win semi-finals. It was thedecidedly handsome forehead of Femi Arogundade that put the away side back on level terms. In an early tribute to the retiring Michael Owen, Arogundade deftly lifted the ball over the advancing keeper and Merton began to dream, cheered on by an awesome travelling support that dwarfed the home fans by around five to one. Merton roared. Old Salesians had the temerity to score again, and Merton roared even louder, resulting in Ivan Gladkow sliding-in at the far post for an important second goal that meant the teams went in all-square atthe interval.

A rousing talk during the break sent the Merton boys out with their tails up. Chris Rayner, heretofore unusually quiet, seemed pumped more than most by half time’s combination of H2O, vitamin C and encouragement. He rose from his slumber like Mount Etna, erupting talent all over the pitch. With 15 minutes remaining he found himself at the by-line. Paul Pearce, hobbled, but straining every sinew, made his way into the area. Merton’s travelling throng drew a breath. Rayner’s trusty left peg found leather. Leather found Pearce. Pearce found the net. Merton found the final.

West Wickham, conquerors of John Fisher Old Boys in the other semi-final will be Merton’s opponents in the final, which will be played on Saturday, 6th April at the Old Wilsonians Association Sports Ground.

Report by:David Quainton

Another week in the life of team handsome and another double header. Confidence was high after an apparently record breaking six point haul in High Barnet last Saturday and things started well. A pumped up Davey Q delicately headed home from a sumptuous Oli Ross freekick. Inevitably though Ivan got injured after 15 mins and less inevitably the referee, a particularly unhandsome man, decided that Lloyds needed a helping hand and duly decided to award them an indirect free kick in the Merton box. Sherbs had picked up a loose ball in his area which is disgraceful behaviour from a goalkeeper. Big Lloyds chap kicks ball very hard. 1-1. The visitors then went 2-1 up before half time. In the second half Quainton completed his brace with another header from a Ross cross. Femi and Rayner then missed good opportunities to win all 3 points and Sherbs got a huge fist on a dangerous corner getting a black eye in the process. A disappointing draw.

The third and fourth quarters of this tie were more straight forward the Handsomes. Femi slotted superbly from a delicious Mustard coated through ball and Pearcey thundered home from 2 yards. Classic Pearcey. At the back Toby, Daymo and Curly Dave headed and kicked everything that moved and in the middle Cook and Clayton controlled the game. Lloyds never stood a chance.

The Man most handsome award goes to Quainton and the Oli Ross award for most assists goes to Oli Ross. Official player ratings below.

Team:Sherbs: handsome, Toby: handsome, Oli Ross: handsome, Dave: handsome, Liam: handsome, Cook: handsome, Vanny: vandsome, Rayner: handsome, Quainton: most handsome, Mustard: handsome, Clayton: handsome, Femi: handsome, Pearcey: handsome

Report by:Alex Herbert

It was minutes before the first match against Old Stationers that manager Ian Lewis mentioned back-to-back wins in Double-Headers were as rare as Ivan Gladkow wearing an outfit you couldn’t ridicule.

So, ten minutes in, watching Chris Rayner dispossess an opponent, play three one-twos and ultimately create a goal for Femi Arogundade, he must have known something was in the air. Old Stationers soon equalised, but Team Handsome always looked like winning it. Oliver Ross tucked away a penalty deliciously after a rather soft handball, Arogundade increased the lead further and, in what proved to be the goal of the day, Ross released Gladkow who found Paul Pearce with a pinpoint cross. Pearce’s forehead did the rest.

What of match two? Could Merton, in cold High Barnet, actually do the business twice? Yes they could, and yes Chris Rayner could, capping an incredible 90 minutes (let’s be fair, he did wane somewhat in the last 30 minutes after his earlier Herculean, season-defining efforts) with a goal after 22 minutes. It brought the scores level. Thereafter, Graham Willgoss, reborn this year as a tough-tackling mercurial midfield menace, was forced to join the Merton injury list following another ball-winning challenge. Luckily, another bruising performance by David Quainton in midfield helped ease the pain and, on the right, Gladkow was beginning to purr like the fat girl who thought she could pull Ross later that night in the Captain Cook. Gladkow scored, and then an effort so poached Humpty Dumpty would’ve been proud of it saw Pearce end the day’s finishing.

Has a team so good looking ever performed so well for two solid hours? 4-1 and 3-1; Team Handsome just became Team Irresistible.

Report by:David Quainton

A deeply disappointing afternoon against a team almost completely unrecognisable from that we had played in the cup just a month ago. Playing a Double-Header in the middle of February makes for a very strange atmosphere, but despite the new faces among the ranks of the opposition, it’s no excuse for not having scored in two hours of football.

The first hour was the more positive – Merton dominated long periods of possession, with Ben Cook and Graham Willgoss ruling the roost over the three 19/20-year-olds BOE had in the middle of the park. Cook came closest to opening the scoring, hitting the bar from 30-yards in the first half of the first ‘quarter’. Michael Lynch was effective down the right, and was often our most creative force. We just didn’t have the optionsup front to finish them, for all of Ivan Gladkow’s strength and desire. Liam Palmer had an outstanding game at the back, keeping their big man in his pocket for all but one devastating attack. Once that goal had gon in, Merton heads dropped. Game over.

Turning up with 12-man squad for two games isn’t ideal, and we paid the price in the second and third ‘quarters’ for our lack of depth.

Report by:Graham Willgoss

A Will Taylor header put Merton in front after they finally figured out where they were supposed to be playing. Not only did someone give us the wrong details of where we were supposed to turn up, he also made wisecracks about it on Facebook before the game. Still, who’s laughing now? Chris Rayner, for one, whose looping header from one of several Merton set pieces delivered by the boot of Oli Ross clipped the post on its way in. The chuckles ended soon after for Willy T, however when he limped off mid-way through the first half. The double-whammy of a dislocated knee and ankle means the Reserves will miss their top-scorer for at least two months. Fortunately, there are plenty of handsome men to fill in for the dashing forward. Foremost among them last Saturday was Rayner, who broke down the left and slotted while Sherbs in goal was still (rightly) lambasting Henry and Oli for messing about from a Merton corner. Henners had a dominant game, and proved too quick and strong for Reigatians time and again. It was fitting that he should set up Shane Lynch – off the bench for the Welshman – for his goal, a sweet strike across the keeper. Ben Cook, as industrious and provocative as usual in midfield, also got in on the act late on after some neat interplay between himself and Henners – driving low from the edge of the box.

Report by:Graham Wilgoss

A pitch that would not have looked out of place in post-Katrina, New Orleans was the stage for a real battle of a game played with great deal of spirit from both sides, despite testing conditions. And, as the breaking levee created heroes and saw refuge sought inside the Big Easy’s most famous sporting arena, so 2013’s relentless precipitation saw Merton rise above the elements last weekend in the shadow of England’s iconic Wembley Stadium.

Merton began the match as they ended it – with a lot of ding and plenty of dong, frequently breaching Alexandra Park’s high backline with intelligent running from Chris Rayner, Will Taylor, and Matt Bosher. One such early foray from man of the match Graham Willgoss won a corner down the sodden left half of the pitch. Whipped in by Ivan Gladkow, it seemed to be another chance lost as the ball bounced harmlessly towards the back post. Lost to all except Liam Palmer, that is, who bulldozed in like one of Bob the Builder’s best friends, taking out the home captain and heading in, in what must rank as one of the best-ever goals scored from a yard out. That first Merton goal brought the score line back to 2-1. It began a theme that would continue throughout; Merton pressure – Merton concede – Merton score from a yard out.

Merton’s second was a goal from whippet-quick, tattooed, self-loving, well-endowed Welsh wunderkind Taylor. It came – again – after a good 20 minutes of possession and some dynamic midfield work by Willgoss. With 25 minutes to go, and the score at 2-2, manager Ian Lewis brought on his big guns; namely, the thighs of David Quainton, the quickness of thought of Olly Braid and the height of Henry Preston. The impact was instant (a whole 24 minutes later), a deft turn by Braid (during which he failed to actually touch the ball) saw the Alexandra Park winger steam in and score. 3-2 and seemingly all was lost. Hope faded in the dwindling light, despite Alex Herbert’s best efforts in goal – he was superb throughout in some awful conditions for any goalkeeper. But, like Bruce Forsyth, this is a handsome Merton side that just won’t die. A series of Merton throws resulted in the winning of a corner. A classic, muddy, chance-ridden scramble ensued before Taylor, keeping his head while all about him lost theirs, played the ball to Bosher in the area. Realising that the momentwas his, Bosher took his time, mishit the ball and then slid it in from a yard. Point earned and job done. Quainton got the Sambucas in. It’s what he does.

Report by:David Quainton

Withdrawing anything from the Bank of England is rewarding, but going to their place and debiting your account with a healthy four goals was all the visitors deserved.

Graham Willgoss and Ben Cook set the tone in the middle of the park, outrunning and out-tackling BOE. It was a Willgoss challenge that started the move for the first goal, winning the ball back from a BOE break and sending it wide for Ivan Gladkow. Gladkow has rarely looked keener – dominating his wing throughout – and played a neat one-two with Olly Braid before teeing-up Braid to whip in a flat cross that was ‘telepathically’ headed home by a hungry Will Taylor. Consistent Merton pressure forced several corners – one of them paying dividends with Femi Arogundade taking it short and finding Cook, whose low cross was stabbed home by Marc Wilson.

Chris Rayner went close from range in the first half, but after the break got the goal his menacing performance deserved when he prodded in from two yards after good work from Taylor and Paul Pearce. And Oliver Ross finished things off with a thunderbolt from just inside the area (“I need new laces, I’ve burned my last ones off”) after Gladkow’s brick wall of a tackle and threaded through ball. Alex Herbert, in goal, did not deserve to concede, but it was a peach of a half volley after the Banker’s man clattered his first attempt at the free kick into Merton’s wall. Well, it was always going to take something special to get around any Merton wall.

Report by:David Quainton

The annoying availability issues that have been present since the start of the season finally caught up with Merton at the University of Westminster Sports Ground on Saturday, where they crashed out of the AFA Intermediate Cup to a strong Polytechnic side.

Despite the recent poor weather, the playing surface was fine but slightly heavy in places. Missing three of his regular back four, Merton manager, Ian Lewis in an attempt to combat the expected strength of the host’s midfield opted for a 3-5-2 starting line-up. However, within 90 seconds of the kick-off, he was forced to revert to a more familiar 4-4-2 formation after midfielder Ivan Gladkow had to exit the fray with a pulled hamstring. Moments later, Polytechnic opened the scoring with speculative 30-yard strike that seemed to catch Alex Herbert in the Merton goal by surprise. Undeterred, the visitors quickly hit back; Dave Hitchcock grabbing an equaliser with a well-placed shot following the host’s failure to deal with a cross to their far post. Although back on level terms, Merton continued to struggle with the physical approach of their division one hosts. And, they soon fell behind again when their hesitancy from a throw-in on the left, gifted Polytechnic the simplest of opportunities that their forward gleefully accepted. The hosts quickly extended theirlead, albeit rather fortuitously, from a shot that but for a wicked deflection, Herbert would surely have saved. On 25 minutes, another enforced change for Merton saw Graham Willgoss unable to continue due to illness. Despite this setback, the visitors reduced the arrears five minutes later through Will Taylor, who, latching onto a through-ball from Oliver Ross, cleverly lifted the ball beyond the advancing keeper. With half time approaching, Polytechnic restored the two-goal advantage from a free-kick, which their industrious number seven skilfully bent around the Merton wall and inside the far post.

The second half continued to see the home side on top and, they quickly increased their lead with a scrambled goal that Merton could and should have prevented. Then, approaching the hour mark, the away side again reduced the arrears when the Polytechnic defenders gave Jamie Clayton both space and time to find the back of the net with a 20-yard punt. If Merton were to have any chance now of turning the tie on its head then it was they who had to grab the next goal. And they went close, as first Paul Pearce saw his low drive turned around the post, and soon after, Taylor having a spectacular overhead effort saved. Unfortunately for Merton,when the next goal arrived, it came from Polytechnic; their centre-forward beating Herbert to a lofted crossand heading home into an empty net. Five minutes from time, the Polytechnic centre-forward completed the scoring when he muscled his way into the six-yard box and squeezed the ball past Herbert.

Whilst it cannot be denied the hosts were good value for their win, even they will agree that the final margin of victory was somewhat flattering. On their return to action after the Christmas break, Merton will be looking to get their league campaign back on track when, weather permitting, Old Stationers will be the visitors to Joseph Hood.

Report by:Harry Hood

It is always a difficult place to go and get something. As it’s Mitcham it’s the shortest journey that we have so it’s that always difficult and unpredictable local derby that is always fiercely contested. We had much the better of the game but the 3pts were never secure till the last 5 minutes. After only 10 mins andafter a few missed chances Chris Rayner won possession and rifled the ball home to put us 1-0 ahead. OWCs were a good side and dangerous on the break. Despite dominating we were not able to increase the lead till 20 mins into the second half when Pearcey finished really well from a wide position. Then we had a bit of a defensive gentlemen’s excuse me when we all marked the same person and their man slotted home to make it a nervy 2-1. Of course we then had the mandatory OWCs punch up and one of their lads (Essex’s bosom buddy – no surprise) was sent off for punching Ben, after fouling him rather badly. We continued to make and miss chances and their keeper (John Harmsworth ex Merton) made some good saves before Chris Rayner volleyed home unstoppably to wrap up the 3pts. A pretty good all round team performance and a welcome 3pts ahead of the 2s trip to Chiswick next week in the cup to face Polytechnic. That leaves the 2s heading into the new year nicely placed above mid table but with games in hand.

Report by:Harry Hood

By way of a change, and because we don’t actually have a match report of our own, you might be interested in reading Surrey Elite Intermediate League side Horsley’s report for this SCFA Intermediate Cup first round tie, which eventually went ahead at the Tom Field ground, following two earlier postponements and a switch of venues due to waterlogged pitches. The Surrey Elite Intermediate League is one of two feeder leagues to the Combined Counties League; the otherbeing the Middlesex County League, which is also a feeder to the Spartan South Midlands League. It is surprising; therefore, why Horsley do not enter the SCFA Senior Cup competition as do Merton’s first team. It cannot be denied that Horsley deserved their victory and to progress in the competition. However, the Merton players will recall the contest a little differently to the Horsley reporter, who fails to mention either Liam Palmer’s first half goal bound header that was destined for the back-of-the-net before being cleared off the line by an alert defender or, Palmer’s subsequent head injury, which saw him going off to Hospital after 45 minutes.

Harry Hood

The 1st team beat Merton 2-1 in the county cup on Saturday. After 2 weeks without playing Horsley’s display was very inept and no disrespect to Merton but we were not facing a strong side or our County cup run could have been over before it had got started. Right from the whistle we were slow to the ball and seemed to just go through the motions our passing was all over the place and commitment was poor. To be fair, though, we never found ourselves under any real pressure and we did score a good goal on 20 minutes, with the first bit of football we played. And, a cracker it was with Henzi running with the ball, before laying wide to Ashbolt who hit a first time cross for debutant Morley, stepping up from the reserves to beat his defender to the ball and bury it inside the near post. The team were already returning to the centre spot when the linesman, one of the Merton subs, stuck up his flag and gave offside. The referee amazingly disallowed the goal, it was an unbelievable decision as Morley clearly beat the defender to the ball and there was another defender further back. Anyway, as this has happened now 4 times this season we are getting used to it. Back to the game and we started the second half a bit brighter and slowly started getting good moves together but as in every game now we missed simple chances. We got our first goal after a good run from Lovell whose inch perfect cross was met by Willoughby, who controlled the ball first time and banged it into the net. This seemed to wake us up as we then made 4 or 5 chances, which brought a batch of good saves from the Merton goalie and a bit of bad luck with balls hitting defenders on the line with the goalie beaten. It wasn’t long before we scored our second when a good cross from Henzi found Lovell, who had the simple task of heading in from about 4-yards. Merton seemed deflated now and the game fizzled out until the last 3 minutes when Dark gave possession away on the edge of our area, allowing the Merton forward – who never stopped running the whole game – to get his reward with a well taken goal. We then survived a last minute scare as sloppy defending allowed their best player, the number 11 to toe poke a shot at goal that clipped the top of the bar. The referee blew for full time so through with a 2-1 win, although not a memorable performance. Okay, the aim before the game was to get through and we done this, but the players must look at their own performances. Yes, at moment we do have key players missing through injury but we need to step up if we reallywant to progress in this cup.