2s vs Reigatians – 03.02.18

A match report in Limericks… There was a young man called Dan Rist Who had a foot just like Rocky’s fist He shot from far out The ‘keeper had doubts And when it went in he was pissed     And     Ben Cook is a fine looking fellow…

2s vs St James Old Boys – 13.01.18

“4-3-3, we know how to play, get stuck in.” Ah, the tactical nuances of non-league football. Merton 2s merrie men nodded sagely, for they would line-up with four men at the back, three in midfield, and three up front. And they would get stuck in. Captain, leader, ginger, Graham Willgoss…

2s vs Old Blues – 25.11.17

Peter Quainton is four inches over six feet tall.    “May I suggest putting him on the posts, he’s never headed a ball in his life,” says David Quainton, today’s substitute and Team Handsome legend.   Team Handsome legends Graham Willgoss and Alex Herbert nod sagely. PQ shall defend the…

2s vs Old Thorntonians – 18.11.17

Old Thorntonians 1-2 Merton 2s (a), 18/11/2017 Perhaps the most satisfying moment of a rainy, cold Saturday afternoon the other side of Wimbledon Common was Thorntonians’ centre back imploring his teammates to work harder with the shout of “they want it more”. We really did. Driven forward by a relentless…

2s vs Old Finchleians – 11.11.17

Old Finchleians (h) 0-3 Let’s get the positives out of the way first. Good, hope that didn’t take up too much of your time. On to the match, which was to Merton 2s’ confidence what Kevin Spacey is to future box office success. Merton surged into a 1-0 deficit courtesy…

2s vs Hampstead Heathens – 28.10.17

Oct 28: Merton Res v Hampstead Heathens 2-2 D Quainton Willgoss A lot of huffing and more than our fair share of puffing just about got Team Handsome the result they deserved against Hampstead Heathens. In the end. Playing a home game after what felt like a season-long exodus (‘What…

2s vs Old Owens – 21.10.17

Old Owens (a) 14-10-2017 4-1 Merton has never been a club to put too much stock in omens. But when, as skipper, your referee for the day asks if you’re wearing yellow while your entire team is standing around you, all of you resplendent in the very shade Merton has…

2s vs HSBC – 07.10.17

AFA Cup 1st round: HSBC 2-4 Merton (2-2 FT) Last season, Team Handsome’s effort across three cup competitions could be summed up like this: not pretty; didn’t get very far. Three matches and three losses – clearly some work to do. Still, a  trip east-ish to play a bunch of…

2s vs Cambridge Heath – 23.09.17

Home versus Cambridge Heath 23-9-2017 1-1 At least once a season, a team should be left short of a goalkeeper. It’s one of amateur football’s unwritten rules. But Merton 2s proudly boast at least two men who will take one for the team and take a turn between the sticks…

2s vs Carshalton – 16.09.17

Carshalton (a), 16.09.2017   Leafy, desirable, full of undesirables, a kebab shop called ‘Kebab World’ (presumably something of a Disney resort for the cholesterol-arteried of the area, one of whom appeared to play for the oppo), and traditionally the venue of a little bit of needle. Carshalton: our kinda town. …