Norsemen (a), September 30: Lost 1-2

A sojourn to anywhere upwards of Ally Palace should come with some sort of health warning. The north is a foreign country, they do things differently there.

In Merton 2s’ case, this was various interpretations of timeliness ranging from 30 minutes early (preppy top marks PQ, DQ); bang on time (Adam, Gibbo, Jamie); late but with regular WhatsApp updates from the car (Gabby); or late because of getting on the wrong train entirely (Cookie).

Merton came strolling out of the traps with all the verve of Dame Thora Hird attempting to find a biscuit under her sofa. Sherbs watched on as the backline was broken, made a decent attempt at a tackle, but was stranded as a subsequent cross went to a Norseman to put into an empty net.

Up front, Rayner and DQ were creating upwards of zero chances until the last 20 minutes of the first half when Team Handsome started to get on top of things. Andy Holder-Ross came off the bench for a hobbled Pearcey and notched. Merton went in with their tails up.

Second half, said tails made their way limply back between Merton legs as Norsemen ground out a territorial advantage, hit the bar a couple of times, and eventually scored after a defensive error.

Merton responded by not doing a lot apart from overhitting crosses and musing the tiresome journey home. Joe Grew did manage a GOAT clearance: somehow smashing the ball against his own bar hard enough to clear out of the area. Astonishing.

Cookie, DQ, and birthday boy Dan Rist commiserated by drinking until 5am: #lads. MOM was Joe Grew, because he stood pretty firm in the face of an average performance.

DOTD was Sherbs, not just for the first goal, but also for counting on paper using concentric circles instead of the traditional five-bar gate. Maybe it’s a keeper thing.

Posted in Uncategorized

Merton FC u12s win 4-1 away to Hampton Rangers u12s

Another fine performance as u12s go 4 matches unbeaten.
Hatrick from William and a goal from returning Zion sealed a good victory to a resilient Hampton Team.
Adam made some fine saves in goal and Thomas was a real force in midfield.
Young referee age 14 did so well and both teams showed great respect to each other.
Home next week in cup to Molesey.
11.30 am kick off.
David Laughton 
Co Manager 
Posted in Under 12s Reports

Second match away for the boars against an unbeaten Nottsborough 4th, top of the league after 2 matches.

Positive start already with the home team not getting 11 men on the pitch but matches must be won during the 90 minutes and not on statistics or on paper.
This is what Merton attitude was put on the pitch from the first second on the match with a great solid 11’s, top concentration and the intention to play every single ball on the floor.
First 10 minutes great possession with defenders and midfielders, with the last to set great balls for the wings (DK and Tom) both being a real pain for the opponent defence.
At the third attempt just before 15’ Tom scored the first, Lofty assist with a lovely ball over the top after we worked the ball nicely from a throw in deep in our half. Tom with a nice lobbed finish that went over the keeper and in off the far post.
This didn’t stop the boar plying nice football with completely supremacy over the home team and after few minutes superb second goal, Gresty assist with a superb defence splitting ball through the heart of their defence following some great pressing. DK curved his run to stay onside and hit it early as the keeper tried to rush out, passed into the bottom corner.
To be noticed that till the 30’ we didn’t conceded a single opportunity showing a very solid permanence.
Shame for Dennis who got injured during a sprint (probably up hamstring due the old age..!!! Just joking) great effort till then. Mustard in without warm up but straight into the match with few successful runs putting the opponent team in serious danger like in the early years of the millennium..!! This is 17’ season for him..!!
Home team back on 11 on the pitch with a sub as well.
Carrying out our solid performance, Gresty to stop every single attempt of the opponent in the midfield just in front of the defence, holding really well and having Mike marking number 10 throughout the match basically shadowing him all over the pitch (that was brilliant tactical call from Darren). Making the right foul to stop them Iain first and Neal after spent their booking in the cleverest way.
To highlight, only opportunity the home team had, showed Darren’s super skill in goal with a top save at down left corner. Great chance to be in goal for next few matches.!!!
Just before half time, really unlikely, after few bouncing their score. 1-2 and straight into half time.
Same 11’s on the pitch with Mario on the side  who couldn’t wait to get involved in the battle in the middle of the pitch.
First 15’ the home team tried to squeeze the boars into their half but a very tight and solid Merton didn’t allowed them to get into the box and create no danger at all.
Half an hour to go and last sub for Merton, Mario in for Lofty.
Pretty much same story, home team trying to get closer to box with decent football taking nearly 8-9 men into Merton half but excellent communication and effort all over the place, boars could get the ball back and trying few counter attacks where we nearly scored the thirds goal with DK.
Top experience from Mustard who showed Neal and Iain how to tackle with controlled force, stopping the opposition in their tracks, by winning the ball fairly and leaving the demolished Nottsborough player in a pulverised heap on the floor.
Solid performance across 90 minutes brought first 3 points for Merton hopefully starting a long strip of result.
MOTM Gresty

DOTD Mario (arriving late and leaving straight after the match)

Posted in Match Reports 3s

Merton 5th XI 1-4 Merton 6th XI
Scorers : Nick Englefield 2, Tony Caplin and OG
Team: Swanny, Chris, Mark, Grant, Andy, George, Ty, Matt, Callum, Tony, Nick Subs: Reece, Pete, Trey
MOM: Tony Caplin
DOD: Ty ‘some things are more important that Merton’ Fullar
The 6s made history by becoming the first Merton side to beat a higher Merton side in a competitive match, but it could easily have gone differently and scoreline does not reflect the match.
These games are rarely fun to play because its not easy to play your natural game and your opponents know you as well as you do! The 5s knew our strengths (and our weaknesses) and opted for a surprising 3/5/2 formation to counteract the kids and to ideally give their pace up to the best chance. They started faster than us for sure and got into their game plan well – big balls up to the Strikers and fast runs off the loose balls – however it was a gift from the 6s that gave them the lead. Grant “I always wanted to be Cryuff” tried to evade the advancing Gibbo who picked his pocket and rifled his shot passed the waved hand of Swanny. 1-0 and they deserved it.
This did wake up the 6s and we began to get into the game more and more. We were getting into dangerous spaces but the final balls were letting us down and good defending kept us at bay. But what we were doing well was hunting the loose balls and hassling the 5s in possession and it was this that caused the confusion in the 5s defence that gifted us the equaliser – a misplaced long free kick was headed into an empty net by the unfortunate Clive, Sam having clearly called for it. It was a gift but nothing we didn’t deserve.
This settled the 6s down and we had an element on control in the game, but it was far from comfortable. Dulanie and Aaron kept causing problems to the defence with their pace, and Gibbo strength was getting him plenty of joy. At the other end we had a few half chances, but nothing clean until a great move between George and Callum led to a perfect cross by George but Nick couldn’t convert at the far post. A let off for the 6s, but this didn’t dampen our spirits – we are getting used to Nick missing a few.
The 6s got the lead again from good work in winning back the loose ball after a corner and Callum found Tony on the edge of he box, he got free of his defender and smashed the ball into the net – SOME might say it was an OG off the defender off the cross bar – But Tony threatened to sulk and get all moody and we have enough of that from Kev and Ty usually so we let him off just this once.
Then the 5 minutes that ultimately changed the game .. The 5s broke well and despite the 6s having chances to clear the ball broke to Ackers who put over a peach of a cross but Dulanie (almost in a repeat of Nick’s chance earlier) couldn’t convert. At 2-2 the game would have been in the balance, but soon after a long free kick my Chappell was picked up by Nick who turned his defender and went through to finish well beyond Sam. 3-1 rather than 2-2 at half time made a huge difference to the two team talks and certainly put pressure on the 5s for the second half.
In all honestly the 2nd half lacked the end to end openness of the 1st. The 6s had an element of control in the game and a couple of crucial injuries to the 5s had left them unbalanced and the game did get a bit scrappy at times. The 6s had a few chances to finish it but didn’t take them, and bar a few long range efforts for the 5s Swanny was only Troubled by Grant, who was really trying to win DOD by scoring an OG but the Cat had it covered.
With time running out Nick scored from close range after some good work from Midfield (Sorry I don’t remember by whom!). A bad injury to Clive did put a dampener on the day and we wish him well, and hope he will get back for the return fixture which I’m sure we be as hard fought and close as this one.
MOM was a three way tie until the last vote – George was a constant threat all day – I was humbled to get the same number of votes for marshaling the defence -but Tony wins it again for an all round display both with and without the ball AND his Goal (or assist – whichever you want)
DOD was easy as Ty thought it a good idea to leave the game early to go and collect his GF from the airport. Has she not heard of coffee shops?!
Posted in Match Reports 6s

BI weekly catch up part one


Woody Misses his penalty, everyone else scores theirs, subsequently gets dotd and then doesn’t write the match report. Harrison still hasn’t learnt about the EC rule and drinks 4 pints for it. 7 before 7 is still a possibility.

Part two

Merton welcomed Alleyn Old Boys to the Hood after dispatching West Wickham in the cup the week before. I feel bad for Simon, scores the winning peno and doesn’t even get a match report to do him justice.If only the glory of him pointing to his stomach after scoring could have been captured.

With everyone on time and Kerns/Siri running late as per, we kicked off holding our own for the first 15 minutes or so. In my time for Merton, I think i’ve only ever conceded one worldie, the amount of penos and shit goals i’ve let in makes me question life sometimes. This game was no different, 1-0 down, ball to the back stick was half cleared and slotted in from about 7 yards out.

Alleyns had a lot of the ball in the half and the penalty to make it 1-1 came out of the blue, blatant push in the back, Sam Harvey slotting it to the keepers right to make it all square. This seemed to push Merton up the gears as the passing got quicker and more direct, this probably led to the second goal, or Sam perfecting his ‘bobble ball’ technique ( just think about Stan Collymore and his goal against Tim Flowers

2-1 and Merton pushing for a third were pegged back almost instantly by Siri imitating his inner Claudio Bravo and coming for a cross that wasn’t really there and subsequently headed into an empty net.  2-2 at half time and Van instantly letting everyone know that Siri went from MOTM last week to DOTD this. Such a team player.

The second half was low in quality, Alleyns defended pretty well and we didn’t really have many clear openings. 15 minutes into the second half Alleyns cut down the left, reserved the ball and delivered an overhit ball to the back stick with their winger did well to knock back into the box straight to their forward who tucked in from 3 yards out.

Merton 1s first loss of the season. All in all a good performance against a pretty good team, but a couple of mistakes costing us. However the style of football has certainly changed from last year, with the long ball being replaced with a more fluid passing style. Carrying on these sort of performances against div 1 teams into the league will see us pushing for promotion/the league.

Motm – Sam Harvey

Dotd – Siri

Posted in Match Reports 1s

Dorkinians 4s beat Merton 4s 3-2
After a mixed, but mostly positive start to the season, it was onto the Cup as the Merton 4s travelled to Dorkinians for this knockout fixture. And what a pleasure it was too. The beautiful surrounds of Boxhill provided the backdrop, and the leafy countryside of Surrey was the setting. Throw in some overcast but mild conditions, and the perfect stage had been set for a delightful afternoon’s football.

It started pretty well too, with Merton consolidating the flowing, passing football they had produced over the last couple of weeks. Dorkinians, though, were clearly a decent side, and there wasn’t much in it early doors.

The breakthrough came about 20 minutes in though, as Merton were undone – not for the first time – by a set-piece. A free kick came swirling in, and in went a header from an unmarked man. It smacked of the goal conceded in the recent Ibis game, and was a desperately disappointing way to go behind having given as good as they’d got until that point.
Merton once again got a good foothold in the game thereafter, but there was to be no further joy before half time, and 1-0 was how it stayed. In a bid to discover his inner Conte, manager-for-the-day John Gridley then pulled himself off to cajole his men. And goodness me, it worked a treat.
Not long after the restart, Merton benefited from a very dubious penalty – a handball which could just as easily have been waved away. Nevertheess, Dom made no mistake from the spot, and the Yellows now had parity.
And one soon became two, this time in impressive fashion, as Sonny ably assisted Dom, who then found himself one-on-one with the keeper. And, well, you know how that story ends… the little maestro put it away, and Merton were suddenly 2-1 to the good. Cue a charge down the touchline from the gaffer.
But the joy, sadly, was short-lived. With their winger going nowhere along the sidelines, Sonny saw fit to push/clothes line him, and thus give away a needless free kick. And, in a mirage of the first goal, the ball was duly whipped into the back post, and headed home for the equaliser. What a waste!
Frustration soon turned to heartbreak though, as Dan Gridley once again gave away a penalty with just 5 minutes to go. This time though, he was very unlucky, and, to say the least, it was a soft one. Perhaps the ref was feeling guilty from the one he’d given to the visitors earlier on, but this really was one that stuck in the throat. Even more so when the man who stepped up thumped it into the back of the net. 3-2, and not much time left to make it right.
Merton certainly gave it a go though, and, in the dying seconds with all their men forward (including Gubby), crashed one against the post. But it wasn’t to be, and a disappointing 3-2 defeat was how it finished.
Not the end of the world, and a good performance once again. The most important thing will be to turn it into points when normal league service resumes against Salesians on Saturday.
MOTM: Will Toms (special mention for Akram)
DOTD: Dan Gridley (unlucky)
Posted in Match Reports 4s

1st October 2017 (away)

Merton Under 9s                             0
Old Ruts 

MOM – Ollie

Pleasant mid morning kick off for the under 9s, away to local rivals Old Ruts.  We played them pre season where it was a close game, this was the total opposite. There was definitely and bit of ‘Fergie time’ on the watch.  Neal took the warm up once everyone arrived, couple of games and then some shooting practice. Taff even lent a hand with the Old Ruts mum’s carrying the goals out; they must have been lighter than ours!!!

Missing one player this week, David, who was running around Disney Land hopefully not slide tackling Mickey Mouse.
Starting line up of Max in goal, Harry and Joe in defence, midfield of Percy, Archie and Louis, up top was Faris.
  Lewis (Hazard) and Ollie on the bench.  Although we conceded 12 goals there were some positives in the match.  The boys played the ball about and made some good passes and one twos, getting the ball out to the wide positions.  We did have chances but just couldn’t convert them.  Old Ruts had some good players who could put the ball in the net. We went in the first half with the score being 5 – 0. Clearing and losing the ball near our goal was our down fall for the goals.

The second half was a bit like the first but the boys worked harder to try and get some goals back, Percy doing the upmost to control the centre of midfield who I thought had a really good game, Louis having game of season so far running up and down the wing and getting into scoring positions but not finding the net. Archie putting in the crunching tackles, with one of them causing slight injury to knee and being fireman carried off by Neal. Faris’s passing and movement was better, just didn’t have his scoring boots this week.  Harry and Joe also doing their best to stop the Old Ruts scorers from getting more goals. Ollie doing what he could at the back trying to help Max defend the goal and picking up man of match this week.  There is a trophy but Lewis’s mum forgot it!! Max although picking the ball out of the back of net numerous times did pull off some very good saves.

And poor Lewis who is still looking for his first goal. Lewis was given the chance to open his scoring this season after being fouled in the box and stepping up taking the penalty.  Unfortunately it was his or the teams day to get a goal. The keeper pulling off a great save denying Lewis his goal. 

The score line didn’t hinder the teams’ spirit and look forward to the long away match next week against Halliford Colts FC. 

Posted in Under 9s Reports

Sutton united 7-0 Merton

U16s today had a tough encounter in the first round of the county cup.
Premier elite, Sutton united.

Boys were keen to play the fixture on a pitch that hosted Arsenal not too long ago.

Message was clear, keep compact and stick together. First half we executed the plan superbly well. 1-0 down at half time, with Ollie going close before they took the lead.

We knew second half was going to be tough. In the end, Sutton running away with it. Kai pulled off some outstanding saves in goal, but all the boys can be proud of their shift today.

Good luck to Sutton

SCR colt next in the league invitation cup for merton

Posted in Under 16s Reports

Match Report

Merton 7s v Corinthian Casuals Under 21

With four of the Merton teams playing at home, and the epic 5s v 6s encounter taking centre stage, our little gem of a game v CCU21 was going under the radar. Turning up early and taking the brisk walk to the changing rooms, it was noted that the Merton little league teams must have been running some sort of intensive drills outside the club changing rooms, as for the number of cones, poles and balls sprawled around, I pitied those who had to take part… looked ruthless!

Changing room buzzing, as having to share with the 6s made it all the more entertaining, the 7s tally up the latest injury list which see the squad lose Steve Burchell to an attempted SAS assassination which results in a few busted ribs, Luke Pellett and Daban to ankle injuries, Scott with a twisted knee thingy, New lad Chris Dodd  having to pull out on the day and Dan Alley loosing his hair products and having to make a late trips to boots… we do however welcome in on a new long term contract, Ryan Burchell (some say the better looking Burchell) Ram back from his overextended long arse holiday and on short notice Luke Mora dropping down to give us a welcome hand as well as the versatile Steve ‘Essex’ Harvey

Mangers David & Martin get summoned to the ref for the pre-game talk (a first, but gave away how the ref would be policing the game!). So, standing with our opposite numbers, the ref gave us fair warning and ask for any questions… at this point we first found out that the opposition plays in white! Not a problem, a quick rush into the changing room to mug the 6s of the yellow kit, this now makes new history of the first inter-club league or cup game where neither side will be playing in the traditional yellow! The second more concerning point was the CCU21 manager informing us that they will be continuing there warm up outside the changing room in there marked out area…

“Wait? What…. ?? that’s you warming up your team outside?! “

“Yes… Hope you don’t mind….”

“Erm… Nah…. Go ahead”

(Turns to Martin and whispers) ”You f###### kidding me… 2 hour pre-game warm up!)

Finally, out on the pitch and full 30 minutes before the game, with a mild jog across the pitch and back and half-hearted leg shake, we conclude the warm up. All eyes on the opposition as they take up residence on the halfway line. Looking prepared, there manager still going over notes with individual players with a leather-bound folder.. The 7s however are still being reminded by the gaffer they (CCU21s) took last week’s teams for 10 … we agree that no matter what, we not going to be a walk over.

Game starts as predicted, Kieran in goal is called into action straight away, good early handling and quick balls out to set the tone, the back four of Josh, Martin, David and Ram, see a fair bit of the early exchanges, David playing in the unfamiliar slot of centre back is soon on the back foot and in a foot race which the CCU21 strike, who wins at a canter, only for Kieran to be equal to the task.

Playing a compact 4-5-1 the midfield of Denzel on the left, Luke, Ryan on link up duty, tom and Jacob on the right,

With no more than 10 minutes played, and mostly on the back foot, it’s fair to say that the 7s was making a fist of it and still trying to play the ball on the deck, although being closed down at rapid speed, they still manged to counter attack with a few good passing moves.

With Billy up front, you’ve always got a chance, and now with a partner in Ryan to take some of the load off, they begin to split the CCU21s defence with some neat passing and running. A long ball up into the corner see Billy not only kill the pace of the ball in a touch, but with the second, passes the defender and gets a fierce cross in which Ryan almost meets but is beaten to by the defender. CCU21s openly talk that there’s the danger and to close the forward line down. Now with Ryan chasing every loose ball and Billy ghosting in behind, the 7s seem to be having more of the game.

On 30, Billy takes a high ball in his stride, somehow nutmegs the defender with a flick and gets on the end of his own ball, gets the cross over which beats everyone in the box, only for Ryan to pick up the pieces, drops a shoulder goes around the player who can only grab and pull him back by his shirt, clear penalty

Billy, steps up and hits hard and to close to the keeper, which results in a strong glove to push the ball back into the path of Billy who follows up at pace to slam into the roof of the net. 1-0 the 7s!!

With 15 minutes to go, the CCU21s are relentless to get an equaliser before half time, wave after wave of attack the 7s are now playing a 4-6 formation, Billy & Ryan are now in between the midfield and defence, chasing back to help out.

On a rare attack, Ryan wins another free kick, which is cleared by the CCU21s defence, and with Josh, David & Ram marking the opposition forward in the their half, the hopefully clearance sails over their heads and into the 7s half, Kieran decided not to come as the CCU21s forward has left David & Josh for pace and is now bearing down on goal. Ram, instead of heading to the player, goes straight to the goal as cover for Kieran is now made to come out and meet the forward 1v1, this allows enough time for Ram to get to the goal line just in time to meet the shot, however, being wrong footed and out of position, he improvises and manages to back heel the ball off the line and away from danger

However, with 5 minutes to go and from our own throw in, the wall of resistant’s is finally broken. Losing out to a 50/50 tackle, and 3v4, the CCU21s splice the back four apart and leave Kieran exposed for a well taken shot. 1-1 and half time couldn’t come quick enough

Half time talk, more of the same, keep it tight and don’t give up.

Second half starts the same as the first, notably a change of tactics from the opposition which now see them marking tighter up the pitch and closing the 7s down a lot quicker. Not even 10 minutes into the 2nd half sees CCU21s go 2-1 up with some nice one touch passing. You can sense the 7s was there for the taking, but thanking fully for some woeful finishing and their inability just take the shot without trying some trick, always give the 7s the last-ditch chance to get the tackles in.

15 minutes in sees the score go to 3-1, again not much can be done when the oppo get it right, but they did seem to be getting frustrated at not scoring at will. Resulting in the first booking of the game for decent towards the ref

A change has to be made, Ram needing to catch a breather, Andrew steps in a left back, Luke too takes 5, and on comes Steve H,

Now the fitness is telling, Kieran was now the final line of defence. All the good work in the first half was being put to the test. Still, 3-1 was respectable in the scheme of things. David & Martin was taken great pleasure in reminding the opposition they had a combined age of over a hundred!! Still, they had the last laugh, with a break down the left resulting in an unstoppable cross/shot to make it 4-1. With the game petering out, and finally finishing 4-1, it was a moral victory for the 7s, one which can be built on going forward

Now that the SALC is completed, we look forward to the coming season and league fixtures. We welcome back OW8s for the first home game who we defeated 4-0 only 3 weeks ago and fully expect a stronger opposition to be turning up to make amends

MOTM: After missing last week’s game, he makes some sort of amends with today’s performance, although, once again, Josh putting in a sterling effort, Kieran takes the majority vote within the team.

Mention for Ryan, never stopped running and looks to be settling in alongside Billy, who himself done well against a strong defensive side (4 in 3 for the cup!)

DOTD: Anyone who lets in four… sorry Kieran, it’s your job to stop the goals!!

Team: Kieran, Josh, Martin, David ©, Ram, Jacob, Tom, Ryan, Luke, Denzel, Billy

Andrew, Steve H.

Posted in Match Reports 7s



GK – Milo

RB – Liam

CB – Entri

CB – Nikoy

LB – McKenzie

CM – Daniel

RW – Hugo

LW – Justin

CAM – Theo

CF – Kieran

ST – Fareed

MOM: Hugo/Justin

We came into the game looking for a reaction after last weeks disappointing defeat as we faced AFC Ewell. There were difficult conditions with blustery rain and a particularly suspect pitch and we didn’t get off to a good start. We were quickly 2-0 down after sloppy play, conceding one goal from a free kick and another after our defenders got outstrengthed. Kieran managed to get a goal back with a long-range strike that the goalkeeper should of saved to make it 2-1. Unfortunately clever play from the attacker forced McKenzie to give away a penalty after he stretched to win the ball and the attacker used this to go to ground. The penalty was excellently dispatched to make it 3-1 and just before half time Ewell made it 4 after some more disappointing defending.

In the second half Merton performed much better as they took the game to Ewell and had several shots but were unlucky not to score. Hugo had a fantastic game on the right wing, as did Justin when he moved to right back and the play between the two of them was the highlight for Merton. A sloppy back pass from Entri gifted them an undeserved goal to make it 5-1 and then their number 10, the standout player who looked dangerous all game, hit an unbelievable strike into the top corner that bounced in off the crossbar to make it 6-1 and that is how the game finished. The man of the match goes to Justin and to Hugo who both performed excellently in attack and in defence as they switched positions throughout the match. A difficult game awaits us next week in the cup, and hopefully our second half performance can inspire a good reaction next week.

Posted in Under 14s Reports