Civil Service 4’s vs Merton 3’s

I begin this match report with the same upheaval and feeling of disbelief as our current Golden DOTD (Neil Davidson) must have felt when writing all those previous reports…

When a good, kind and generous act can get you the DOTD vote, you must start to question the validity of the votes, especially when other members have pulled out at the last minute, told the team the game is off 30min prior to meeting and stealing another members car keys for a week.

Anyway, enough of that… let’s move on to the positives game itself…

So the Merton 3’s started the day looking forward to another away fixture. Not as pleasant as most, as a trip around the M25 was not required, but still a lengthy journey for all those Boars to reflect on the past performances and think of how to improve.

The rain was chucking it down all day, but that said, the pitches were in good condition. The team arrived and DJ Mustard was on the decks, spinning the interesting choices of request that’s had made it through to his playlist. A little chat in the changing rooms and we were all ready to go.

Perhaps the most memorable part of the first half was Dennis chasing the geese off the pitch prior to kick off. This tells you enough about the quality that was on display. In the first half, Merton took a while to find their feet, but eventually started knocking the ball around and looked good at times.

Civil Services gave Merton an early scare, when they were awarded a free kick on the edge of the box. The ball was whipped in and missed / ping ponged around a few Merton players, before hitting the unexpecting striker on the leg and trickling into the net. Appeals of a dubious offside were quickly raised, and the Ref seemed to agree.

Merton, with this streak of luck on their side, pushed forward. A few half chances fell to the Boars, but with no end product. Glen had a good chance where he broke from a Dennis ‘showboatesque’ back heel, raced down the line, round the keeper, but then seemed to forget where the goal was and hit it wide.

Glen had another chance, great interplay in the middle of the park saw the ball laid off to Glen, and with Darcy sprinting clear, all that was required was a little through ball… it never came.

Despite Merton’s pressure, a mesmerising run from Civils centre mid, he tricked his way past several players and hit a good shot into the bottom corner. 1-0 Civils.


Merton came into the Half time break 1-0 down, and with their heads slightly down as well.

A change of personnel brought on Alberto in the middle of the park for the ‘blowing’ Darcy. Minutes in, Vinnie seemed to tackle himself and was now crooked. On came Gubby for his 3’s on field debut.

During the next 30minutes, not much of note happened. Lots of missed placed passes and the occasional goose trying to set back down on the pitch. Welshy turned up on his bday to cheer the Boars on, which was a welcome treat and Darcy had a little slip on goose shit, whilst collecting the ball which earned him this report.

Merton switched formation to the tried and tested 3-5-2 and immediately saw the benefit. A free kick was whipped in, and debuter Gubby, leapt like a salmon, despite being tackled by his own team mate (Neil Davidson), and headed home a peach of a header! In ‘unbelievable Jeff’ scenes, Mr Davidson proceeded to run off claiming the goal on his own, whilst the rest of the team congratulated the true goal scorer Gubby.

Merton had the wind in their sails now, and sensed a win. Glen had a good chance, but the keeper made an amazing save and pushed it onto the upright corner of the bar.

With only minutes left, Merton were in full out attack. Unfortunately, this left us a little exposed at the back. A break away from Civils right winger saw him skip past several flat footed Merton players and pick out a cross, to which Joe seemed to partially clear, before being taken down by the attacker, who promptly got up and in slow motioned volleyed the ball into the back of the net. This time there was no fooling the ref that the goal should not count.

Final score 2:1

Not the best performance this season, not the worst… better luck next week…

Man of the Match: Joe Grew

DOTD: Darcy Yates

Scorers: Gubby / Neil Davidson? Still awaiting the result of the dubious goal scores official’s enquiry



Posted in Match Reports 3s