Year: 2016

Merton 5s Match Report 5/11/16

Merton 3 -1 HSBC

As the days draw darker much earlier, a “nip” comes through the air. By “nip” of course i mean a chill in the air, rather than the “delightful” (never a word associated with) naked lee time.

This meant an early kick-off much to the dismay of  Aaron Byrne and Josh, who i’m sure wanted that extra five minutes to snooze.

Nevertheless Saturday means one thing, and one thing only – Matchday.

This week, minor changes were made to the team due to the unavailability of a few and late appearances. With Tom out injured (whom we wish a speedy recovery), Anam given a taste of the 6’s mirth and Darren suffering the woes of Henry VIII, an opportunity arose for a recent addition to the Merton family, Tiago Carvalho. Now before i go further i must dampen any excitement, by stating that this is not the Tiago Carvalho of recent Euro Final success – albeit recruitment this year has been equally successful.

After a lengthy warm up from our tenacious manager, the 5s were ready to go, as not to repeat our last home fixture with an unfortunate result. Our counterparts however did not seem to be at full steam much to our fortune, starting with only 10 men. From the first touch of the ball, the 5s were very much on the front foot with Dulanje looking to drive forward and expose modest defensive line. Much to his misfortune, a string of questionable offside decisions went against our favour. After 15 minutes the deadlock was broken. You’d normally do well to bet on Dulanje or Andy to have caressed the ball into the net, but for a change a Merton journeyman was on the scoresheet. whipping a ball in from the far right Aaron Ackerman opened the scoring with a cross which flummoxed a nervous stand-in ‘keeper. I’m sure time spent with the 4’s last season played a part as we are all familiar with Ed’s “shots” which misdirect everyone, including the man on the ball. All the same, 1-0. The next goal came not long after, but could have been sooner had Dwayne’s shot found the inside of the far post , instead bouncing out to be cleared. A combative performance from the central players in midfield and defence, saw the ball was rolled out to Luke on the left flank who could play a speculative ball for Dwayne to run onto. As he looked up, Dulanje seemed a viable option on his right, but instead noticed the opposition keeper deciding he fancied jogging out towards the middle of the pitch. Perhaps the triangle button was stuck on his controller. This left an open goal for Dwayne to slot into, which unlike at training, he did with ease. 2-0. The final goal came from captain of the day Steve Burchell. A whipped in corner from that man Ackerman looked to be a guaranteed goal for Clive, but was bowled in by our equally bald skipper. 3-0. HSBC looked to come back into the game, as their 11th man turned up, but the whistle blew for half time.

The second half brought a couple of changes with Clive and Tiago coming off for Aaron and Josh. After a case of pinball the ball fell to a HSBC player who duly delivered a goal. I’m sure next week, we’ll help Sam build a cushion for the Golden Gloves award. The phrase “a game of two halves” is commonly overused in our field, but unfortunately for us this certainly was the case. With Dulanje efforts to time his runs being wasted by constant calls of offside which were duly given, HSBC looked to press. This half was not so much the performance we were looking to have given some of the impressive displays so far this season, but we held on to the result and look to learn from this and continue to grow.

Man of the match initially went to Tiago, with 3 votes, while Steve and Clive both received two. By the rule of being in the bar to receive the award the default recipient was our experienced skipper of the day, Steve Burchell. 

Another home game on a chilly day for the mighty sixes and with back to back wins under their belt, expectations were high against a physical looking Alleyns side.

It wouldn’t be a match report without mentioning our fallen midfield hero John who still has a sprained wrist from too much……………….fifa! Get well soon buddy!

With everyone arriving nearly on time, things were looking positive and with a quick warm up and team talk from the skipper we were off and running. 

From the off Merton were playing some subline football and creating numerous opportunities to put the ball in the net when disaster struck!

A slight lapse in concentration from the skipper left him with a decision to make, take out the onrushing striker or let him pass and score.  Well, I don’t need anyone to tell me I made the wrong decision and Alleyns went 1-0 up.

The good thing about football is that when you make mistake early on, you get a chance to make amends.  Almost immediately after going behind, Merton had a corner.  A beautiful ball was put in by Chris and with the skipper out thinking the defenders by moving one way and other (tits one way and gut other!) he leaped like a salmon migrating up river and thundered in a header and the Merton fans (Matt) went wild in celebration. 1-1!

From then on Merton dominated and created some great chances to take the lead.  Finally, the pressure told and with Paul nicking the ball off the defender, he squared it to Pete who slotted in for his first goal of the season and finally his reward for some great play in recent weeks! 2-1 Merton

With the wind on our back we played some great football and should have been out sight, but Alleyns remained in the game.  With half time approaching, we were awarded a dubious corner! Pete took it and with the help of the wind it was going in directly but Tyron decided to touch it with his arse or thigh and turned it in to give Merton a 3-1 lead at half time.

After the break and with a few fresh legs Merton decided they didn’t want to play football anymore and maybe thought the game was won.  How wrong we were!  With the wind getting stronger and now in our faces it was playing havoc with the newly acquired professional match ball and Merton struggled to clear their lines!  Beans was jumping way to early and heading fresh air (sorry Beans, had to try and give you stick for mocking me in the last report!).  He had a good game really!  Anyway, Alleyns had a change of personnel and now seemed to be playing players in their most dangerous positions and causing the back four havoc!  They scored straight away with a good solo goal and we were thinking the worse.

With attack after attack the Merton defence and goalkeeper repelled most efforts with some great tackles and great saves from Michael.

With Alleyns pouring forward looking for an equaliser, Merton went up the other end scored on the break!  Dan taking a pot shot and the ball swerving over the keeper.  4-2 Merton and surely we couldn’t throw this away! WRONG!!  Back came Alleyns and they scored again with a well placed wind assisted effort in the bottom corner. 4-3! 

At this point Merton were really struggling and an equaliser looked to be on the cards! Merton were first thankful for the woodwork and then a superb one handed save from a point blank header by Michael!  This was the kick up the arse we needed and now with the wind dying in the late afternoon sunshine, Merton retained control of the game and started to create chances.  First Pete went close and also a shot from Chris was saved well.  With a few minutes left Trey chased down a hopeful pass by Paul, beat the offside trap and the keeper to score his first goal for Merton! 5-3 and surely that was the end of that! WRONG!  There was still time for Alleyns to score a superb consolation to make the final score 5-4 to Merton.  A truly great game and would have definitely been match choice on sky!

I would like to say the sixes are gelling really well now and with the injection of youth confidence is starting to come back! The first half was the best I have seen a sixes team play in a long while and we should have been four or five goals clear!

As I write this, numbers are high again for selection this week and unfortunately will have to move a few players around as to make both the sixes and sevens competitive.  If I move you around don’t feel you have been dropped, but I want to give the sevens the best chance possible of surviving and this means we all may have to move around from time to time – all I am doing is trying give everyone football so bear with me!

Now man of the match, could honestly say everyone put a shift in! Special mentions go to Callum who had a great game with some superb touches and direct play.  Chris for his non-stop running and his shots which are finally getting closer to the target!  But this week it has to go to Paul – he was brilliant, two assists and broke up play well and was on time so well done him!

Dick of the Day was a hard choice, it could have gone to a number of players – Beans for missing every header this week (it was the new balls fault!), Chappell for going down injured again (fourth week in a row!).  But this week I am giving this to Tyrone!!!  Claiming a goal that was going in already direct from a corner off your arse/thigh from half a yard is not in the spirit of the game – poor form (tin hat on when he reads this as he will moan all week!!!!)

Let’s get another win next week!

Line up:  Michael, Josh, Beans, Chappell, skipper, Callum, Ty, Chris, Paul, Trey, Pete

Subs: Adam, Aman, Dan P

U14’s met AFC Ewell in the invitation cup 3rd round on Sunday, and made a quick start via Bruno who latched onto a great through ball and finessed his short to the top right hand corner of the goal. Despite being one nil up Merton could never get a grip on the game, and slowly let Ewell back in with an equalizer before half time. 2nd half was drab a lot of long balls played by either side before one eventually unlocked our defence. Despite late efforts from Dwayne and Chris Merton couldn’t get the 2nd & unfortunately got knocked out of the cup!

Name: Joe Adams
Nickname: Capo                                  
Team: Merton U14’s
Position: Centre Mid
Previous Clubs: Wimbledon Little League

How did you end up at Merton FC?
Someone asked me to join.

What was your best moment for Merton FC?
Winning the league in the 2013/14 season with U11s

If you could play for a professional team, which would it be and why?
Man City, because they play a nice style of football.

Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?
None.

RAPID FIRE:

Player of the season (premier league)- N’Golo Kante

Childhood team- Man City

Favourite team outside the UK- Juventus

Favourite food- Chicken Nuggets

Favourite drink- Lucozade

Favourite musician- Krept & Konan

Merton FC Cricket Club 2016 Season Review

By Ryan Gresty

Do not adjust your computer/mobile device/scrap of paper you are reading this on… Merton has a cricket team! The latest incarnation of summer sporting excellence saw MFCCC turn out for 4 evening T20s over the course of summer 2016, winning 3 and losing 1. The green shoots of a cricket team were sewn in the Hood bar, where talk of certain members pissing off to South Africa during the football season to watch England crush the hosts spurned numerous claims of “I used to play a bit of cricket/I fancy a go/I have nothing better to do with myself once the football season is over” and suddenly we had a cricket squad. Here is the season review:

Merton FCCC (83-1) bt TOTIE (82) by 9 wickets

The first lambs up for the slaughter were TOTIE, one of Ryan’s other teams. Starting with 10 while Lofty was doing his best tramp impression – wandering around Hampstead Heath with a bag of tinnies in hand, Merton bowled first and skittled the oppo for just 82. Nick Papanastasiou backed up his big talk of bowling prowess throughout the winter with a commanding spell of new ball bowling (1-20), but most memorable were his fielding antics. In the very first over a straight one was hit back at him at a nice catching height which he shelled upwards over his head. The non-striker looked on in disbelief as the ball bounced and rolled into the stumps and he was run out without facing. That was followed by a very tidy catch at slip, before dropping an absolute dolly on the fence shortly after.

Lofty finally joined the party and chucked a few medium pacers down which were hard to get away, but not as hard as Clappers’ super-stodgy pies delivered like bouncing bombs which died in the soft pitch and were impossible to get off the square. Panic set in and wild swings saw wickets tumble, particularly at the hands of ringer Dave who returned incredible figures of 4 wickets for no runs off 8 deliveries as TOTIE were all out for 82.

So a friendly total for the MFCCC boys to chase. Step forward everyone’s favourite South African, Mike “BIG MIKE” Todt, who launched a series of humungous sixes onto the roof of the school next door and into the park, sending bystanders scattering to all parts. Once Mike and fellow opener (ringer) Tom had each retired on 25*, Welchy steered the team home with a series of comical 1s, 2s and even a 3 which left his somewhat rotund batting partner calling for the pitch-side oxygen tank.

Merton FCCC (163-9) bt TOTIE (112) by 51 runs

Next up were Wimbledon United CC, Sherbs & Browner’s Sunday team (images from the game enclosed). The 5.45 start time came and went with just 3 Mertonites present so the toss was manufactured and Merton were graciously invited to bat first. Gratitude came by way of a sensational display of destructive batting, starting with Clappers, after a couple of boring sighters, launching a pair of sixes onto the road beyond long on with his twig of a bat. BIG MIKE managed to hole out to the only fielder on the off side, but Tyson, Rat, Clappers (returning having retired on 25*) and Sherbs kept the run rate up around the “carnage” mark. The runrate-ometer had no scale for what followed: Tom Rowe launching the ball to all corners and notching his 25* off just 8 balls, 50% of which were maximums.

163 was always going to be a challenge to chase down, and Browner showed no mercy by demolishing the opener’s stumps in his first over. Ty picked up the 2^nd and Clappers managed to get one of his bombs to actually bounce rather than roll along the dirt, but Bronwer’s butter fingers gave the batsman a reprieve. Skipper Ryan was involved in an innings-long battle with Sherbs over field placings, arguing that putting every man back on the rope was a tad unnecessary with all these runs on the board. So Sherbs was hauled out of the attack by way of punishment and replaced with the unknown quantity of Welchy, who claimed he’d never bowled before. His first ball landed perfectly on Glenn McGrath’s dime, and his second took a wicket sparking scenes of unbridled joy, laps of honour, ticker tape parades etc etc. All 10 outfielders got a bowl as the skipper shuffled his pack, Rat the pick of the bunch swinging the ball nicely to bamboozle the tail-enders. Less successful with the cherry was batting hero Tom Rowe, but he produced a champagne moment in the field, pouching a worldly at mid-on diving full stretch to his left and even earning a honk of approval from a passing motorist who really should have been looking where we was going. WUCC in the end put on a creditable 112 but there was never any danger to the Merton Men.

Merton FCCC (131-8) bt LU Engineering Dept (73) by 58 runs

Only 3 Mertonites turned out for this one, aided by a host of ringers, but the scoresheet shows a Merton FCCC victory so we will claim it. Put in to bat, ringers #1 and #2 got the innings off to a strong start before a tardy BIG MIKE strode out to the middle, played a couple of blocks and then opened those square shoulders and hooned another few sixes into the trees and the beleaguered school roof on his way to his second 25* in 3 knocks. Ringers #3 and #4 slapped a few more boundaries until one was run out by a sensational direct hit from the alarmingly-competent mystery saffa in the opposition ranks. Said saffa was then thrown the ball and cleaned up Ryan, ringers #6 and #7 with a display of pace bowling that Dale Steyn would have been proud of. The sight of the keeper standing 30 yards behind the stumps on such a slow pitch, with the additional protection of a long stop directly behind him, told you everything you needed to know about this lad’s pace.

Not to be outdone, Merton’s own paceman Nick opened the second innings with a sensational 3-over spell that yielded just three runs. Swinging the ball away and in to the batsmen at will, throwing in the odd yorker and grinning from ear to ear throughout. This was cricket at its best, played the right way, and really was something to see. How he didn’t take a wicket we will never know, and tragically we will never get to enjoy such a display again following Nick’s tragic and untimely passing which leaves holes all over the club, not least at the top of our bowling attack.

BIG MIKE then delivered a truly awful display of leg spin with two overs that seldom saw the ball land on the pitch, was hugely expensive, but somehow contrived to yield two wickets and backing up the old adage that “filth gets wickets”. Ringers #2-5 mopped up the other wickets and “Merton” added another comfortable win to the record.

Prince Consort XI (126-6) bt Merton FCCC (115) by 11 runs

Talk of The Invincibles proved to be premature as Merton fell at the final hurdle between them and a perfect 4-0 season. PCXI won the toss and chose to bat, spotting that Merton were somewhat light on the ground, and made hay in the first few overs as loose bowling and gaps in the field got them off to a good start. Making his MFCCC debut, Sam Harvey bowled with extreme pace but, ahem, loose control. Lofty showed him how it’s done with hardly any pace and a dubious action that generated 3 quick wickets. And it could have been 4 when Kev Locke grassed a skier in the deep in the first of a series of fielding mishaps that swung the momentum back PCXI’s way towards the end of the innings. Despite Rat and Sherbs’ tight swing bowling at the death, a target of 126 looked imposing against the PCXI attack on a massive, damp outfield.

First ball saw BIG MIKE struck on the pads in front and a vociferous appeal for LBW turned down due to the enormous stride that meant impact with the ball was just outside the non-striker’s crease. Kevin Locke played some nice strokes including a glorious late cut for 4. No such aesthetic pleasures down the other end, as Mike scratched his way to 20 before he was out to a screaming caught & bowled. Kev holed out shortly after to signal the start of a procession to/from the pavilion (park bench). Ryan, Will Low and Rat arrested the slide, Will timing a sumptuous straight drive along the ground for 4 first ball, generating questions of the skipper as to why he was hidden so far down the order. Rat had a wedding to protect his face for, but still hit some dashing shots before Welchy was run out by probably the greatest distance in the history of cricket, and Merton ended up 11 runs short at the end of the 20 overs.

All in all a positive season for men in yellow, in white. We’ll aim for another 4/5 after-work T20s and one Sunday game next summer so if you’re interested in turning out speak to Ryan Gresty or Mike Todt and we’ll get you involved in 2017.

AFA Cup chances end with a Big Bang!

Merton certainly won’t remember, remember this particular 5^th of November with much fondness following defeat against a well versed Old Carthusian’s outfit in the AFA cup.

Despite the majority of the team having their blissful Friday night’s sleep broken by Emillio’s late night whatsapp search for a stud tightener, the team (rat aside) successfully followed Clappers’ detailed directions to the picture perfect Charterhouse School in Godalming.

For a variety of reasons, Merton were missing some regular playing members but were buoyed by the return of Matt Bosher for his 1^st appearance of the season. Ivan Gladkov was also welcomed back to the fold following his recovery from a slight hamstring strain.

Despite a swift 5k hike from the changing room to the pitch and a warm-up completed with good intensity, the match started badly for the Boars. The unfortunate demise of the public school fagging system meant that there were no ball-boys present to retrieve the ball as it trundled towards Godalming High Street immediately from the kick-off. When the ball did eventually return, a cross from the untracked OC left back caused mayhem inside the Merton 18 yard box and was rifled home with aplomb to give the hosts an early lead.

For the next 10 minutes Merton struggled to get a foothold in the game, whilst the movement of the OC midfielders and forwards impressed greatly. Though the hosts had a good amount of the ball, slowly and surely the men in yellow gained confidence and started to pass the ball with greater conviction whilst limiting the hosts to few clear cut chances. Midway through the half the unlucky Gladkov had to be substituted through injury once again, with the impressive Emillio replacing him.  Leading Sports Injury expert Peter Browne later confirmed that the unlucky winger was suffering from a ‘lump on the ankle’.

Despite having little opportunity to get on the ball, Charlie & Johnny worked impressively hard up front and created a couple of half chances accordingly. It was this hard work that enabled Charlie to link up with Emilio on the right hand side and curl a beautiful strike inside the far post from 20 yards to level the game 5 minutes before half time and send the Merton support (2) into raptures.

The 2^nd half saw Merton hold a good shape and gradually frustrate the hosts with Sam & Nick providing additional valuable cover to the back four, whilst the introduction of Bosher and his subsequent pace provided a different outlet for the team. OC continued to have the majority of the possession whilst creating some decent half chances which were thwarted by Siri & Browne went close from a Merton corner. The game then swung the way of the hosts with 10 minutes left when Clappers was adjudged to have pushed the OC Centre Forward inside the penalty box. The OC player certainly made the most of any supposed contact but the referee who had frustrated the Merton players for most of the afternoon quickly pointed to the spot.  Siri managed to lay a glove on the ball but to no avail and suddenly Merton had to chase the game. As they pushed up the pitch Browne was left 1 on 1 and was pulled back by the OC Forward. Astonishingly the referee gave a free kick to OC and though it was defended well a free header from the resulting corner made it 3-1 and goodnight Vienna. The final minutes saw Merton get frustrated with the referee further when an offside was missed prior to another penalty being awarded (correctly) against Clappers for pulling inside the box. The penalty was scored and the game finished 4-1 which was very harsh on a Merton side who worked tirelessly against a very good side who will have eyes on winning the trophy.

After the game, the players were presented with hot food and squash by their upmarket hosts. A flapjack was also provided which looked fairly plain but was actually packed full of oatey goodness yet remained moist and soft, something that is far from easy to achieve on such a bake. With the inclusion of some dried raspberries or chocolate chips this would have been a genuine delight.

Next week sees the Men in yellow travel to the Old Blues in another cup encounter. Whilst the return of some regulars and the depth in the squad will certainly provide Captain Clapperton with some selection dilemmas, it would appear that the injured Gladkov will be missing once again along with Kearns who starts his 3 match suspension. In light of this suspension and as part of the clubs commitment to growing community relations, local TV and radio stations have been asked to post regular adverts informing the women of West London that the Trump supporting Kearns is likely to be in the vicinity for the next few Fridays nights.

Team: Siri, Rat, Clappers ©, Browne, Kearns, Gladkov (Emillio), Sam, Nick, Rayner, Johnny (Bosher), Charlie.

Dick of the Day: Clappers gave away 2 penalties and stole 2 mini rolls after the game. Van got 2 votes.

Man of the Match: Peter Browne. Impressive performance on a pitch that didn’t suit his playing style.

[Show slideshow]

Merton 4 – 1 Woking cougar colts

On another lovely sunny morning at the hood the under 9s arrived eager and ready for action after the half term break to face a very good and established Woking cougar colts in our first festival league match.

Woking kicked off, we gave them no time on the ball, gained possession and had the first shot on goal within a minute. The game settled and the teams proved evenly matched. First time for ages we had a full squad of 10 and rotated players regularly keeping up the tempo and pressure until we finally broke the deadlock with a goal from Sam 1-0 merton. Woking pulled back an equaliser with a very well worked goal with virtually the last kick of the half. 1-1 at the break.

2nd half we came out with 3 positional changes and started to control the game, a goal from Darius put us 2-1 up and then the final switch of the game Presley in as centre forward who put away 2 more. Final score 4-1 Merton. A fantastic team performance with every single player shining bright, a really good entertaining match.

Sams dad awarded man of the match to Presley, but again anyone of them deserved it, and his most memorable moment was the whole game.

Mention to Woking who had a 40 minute drive to play us, great team, fantastic coaches, very pleasurable day, look forward to playing them again.

Gary

Lovely morning down at the Hood with just two games. The u9s were playing a strong Woking Colts side but beat them 3-1 and looked a really good well organised side. The U11s baeat Raynes Park Vale 4-2 coming from 2 – 0 at Half time. Great second half performance for Dave and Steve’s boys. U13s beat Shene Lions 5-0 in the 2nd round of the Surrey County Youth cup. The U14s lost 2-1 to AFC Ewell in the 2nd round of the Invitation Cup. Both excellent performances. U15s lost their cup match 8 – 1.

Bank of England. What a treat of a venue! For this scribe, it was a first, and a privilege to set foot on such facilities. Banished to the ‘worst’ pitch of the lot, according to locals, Merton were greeted with a superb surface, conducive to good football. Unfortunately, the referee was an old foe, and it was taken as given before the kick off that Merton would be up against a 12th man of sorts. How true that would prove.