Author: Matt Haswell

Match Report

Merton 7s v Old Wilsonian 8s

Home… and not the WCE, and with a 3oc kick off in the afternoon sun, the 7s are in a great mood to keep this 4 game unbeaten run going against a side that beat the 6s 3-1 late in February. Word in the changing room was the opposition was running late and only had 4 players, which was 4 more than our ‘Merton 3s’ opposition had, who failed to even turn!

Eventually, OW8s arriving just before kick-off and getting changed by the pitch, we got our first glimpse of this very much changed side, still… not worrying, the 7s carried on with their pregame warm up, which this week turned into ‘crosses & corners’ with the midfield duo of David & Tom trying to lash shots past the very composed Gubby

Kick off and another re-arranged team, this time were missing Dan at centre back, who’s replaced by Steve Burchell, and Tom J for Delman. OW8s kick off and straight on the attack, there 2 centre midfield pairing have a combined age less than our own captain, but paired with Tom R, our midfield was soon putting the tackles in and stemming the flow of passes to the forwarded line.

The back four, which also included the consistent Josh at right back, and the versatile Martin next to Steve, was well marshalled by Steve B who’s tones echoed around the ground from the very first whistle, rumour has it, this was his 7s trail as his written transfer request had been denied by the 5s captain as being too valuable to them.

15minutes in and the 7s still not really getting a foot hold in the game, the OW8s passed around the centre third and looking to get in behind the rear guard, but with 2 banks of 4, Noor and Adam E, playing out wide, found themselves having to drop back to defend, this isolated Malcolm and Denzel up front.

Still soaking up the pressure and conceding a good few corners, the 7s finally started to get rewarded for their resilient play, Malcolm being played in between the right & centre back, not being blessed with much pace, BUT makes up for it in strength, holds of the challenge of the pair and gets a solid shot off which goes wide.

Seeing the chink in the OW8s armour, Tom R starts to have more influence on the game, taking the ball from the half way line and gains ground. 7s Now applying the pressure at the right end, and once again Malcolm, finds the ball at his feet, muscles his way past the centre backs, this time making no mistake with his shot to put the 7s 1-0

Composed, the OW8s come straight back at the 7s, Steve & Martin doing a great job of being the oldest centre pairing the 7s have fielded still keeping the attacks at bay, couldn’t do much when appealing for offside only to see the Ref wave play on as the OW8s young speedy striker beat the trap and went 1v1 with Gubby, who had already kept the 7s well in the game, couldn’t do much as the striker blast his shot past the advancing keeper to bring the game level after less than 5 minutes

As the game panned out to half time, OW8s clearly on top in the early exchanges, but pegged back at the end, the 7s debated that were not doing much wrong. None the less, Martin who had a fine game at centre back, makes way for Andy L and Denzel off for Scott, the 7s kick off the send half

Tom R & David once again pass the ball around confidently from the start, draw in the 7s defence to play a bit of keep ball, Steve B looking remarkable composed at the back, and with Delman now keeping Noor in check on the left, the 7s looked to be controlling the early exchanges.

However, not too long into the second half, Adam E seemed to pull up with a hamstring and signals to the bench, up to this point and having a great game in tandem with Josh, it was not what the 7s wanted. Replaced with Andy DOBBY Dobson, it wasn’t long before he was called into action, wining a strong 50/50 and getting a fine through ball to Scott, this was showing there’s no weak link in the 7s …

Still controlling the game and pressing higher up the pitch, the 7s win a free kick around 30yards from goal, Tom R placing the ball, floats a high ball in which see’s David tussling with the OW8s centre backs and getting free, but with no chance of winning the ball, still bears down on the keeper which seemed to distract the fella long enough to lose the flight of the ball and then can only flap at the air as the ball clips the underside of the crossbar and goes in. As the team congratulate Tom on a fine Cross/Shot, the Ref (who had gave the goal) finds himself surround by OW8s players, protesting that the linesman flag was up, after much debate, the ref agreed and awarded offside due to the 7s captain being  ‘in the line of vision of the ball while in a offside position’

This only spurred the 7s on, now gaining more possession and linking play together, Noor once again got into the area and got his cross off, which took a deflection off the OW8s centre backs arm, the ref had no hesitation awarding the penalty kick which Scott stroked home with power, 2-1 the 7s

Once again, OW8s feeling hard done by, got back on the attack, a lofted ball over the top sees Steve B in a foot race with ‘easily’ a guy half his age, without rushing in, Steve lets the player get the ball and with perfect timing, executes a sliding ‘hook’ tackle which sees Steve not only win the ball, but manages, control and with calm, he passes away to Andy L, thus diffusing any kind of attack the OW8s had in mind.

Still with 15 minutes or so to go, the 7s are now accustom to digging in deep, the captain forever shouting commands and organising the troops, looked the better team, OW8s probing away, had the better fitness overall, but couldn’t find a way past the wall at the back.

As the clocked ticked down, Adam E having to replace the 7s captain to give some extra legs in midfield, the Merton boys did not look like giving this up easily, much contrast to early in the season, with the OW8s getting a corner late on, even the strikers dropped back, making sure that 5-in-a-row was nailed on.

Great team effort and handshakes all round, no one could begrudged the 7s this victory, with only 3 games remaining, the target of top 4 is possibly, be it not in our hands, and with the unbeaten Carshalton 6s away this weekend, can they pull off an upset? Even a mild defeat to the league winner’s elect will be a moral victory in our eyes. All we say is …. BRING IT ON

MOTM: Once again, it goes to a legend, Steve B… stepping in for Dan.

(Still 50/50 if he passes the trial though!)

DOTD: Denzel… I know we haven’t played at the Hood in a while, but turning up at the wrong ground that to even ours is worthy of this week’s DOTD J

Team : Gubby, Josh, Steve B, Martin, Delman, Adam E, Tom R, David ©, Noor, Denzel, Malcolm

Scott, Andy L, Andy D

On a lovely sunny April morning away at Barnes football ground, Merton under 9s took on Barnes at a 6 a-side match with no substitutes (due to holiday commitments). It was an all-round superb display by Merton with a gutsy, technical and energetic performance shown by all the players. A total team game.

Barnes set off to a quick start with an opening goal, but from then on Merton were in the ascendancy. Harry deservedly won the man-of-the match award with a determined performance, with some fantastic crosses and an important goal. Do-Hoo scored twice, one with a penalty (after being sandwiched by the other side) and Tommie with his pace scoring the fourth. Sam again made some significant catches in goal (and won a best moment award for one of his saves), whilst Jack added pace down the wing. Callum was as strong as ever in midfield and defence.

Given the lack of substitutes, it was decided to “rest” the players by playing a rotational system, which was very effective as the boys preserved their energy and progressively dominated each quarter.

This was a thoroughly enjoyable game for players, coaches and spectators alike in a great setting. Although playing a 6 a-side game, the boys were not phased and showed great patience, skill and character to wear the other side down and to seize control of the game.

Thrilling match with a superb result!

Winta

U9s Pitch Marshall

1^st April 2017
Merton 6s vs South Bank Cuaco 6s

Merton 6s travelled to Dulwich for an away fixture against South Bank Cuaco 6s.  With Civil Service playing a double header against Old Blues this was a game which we needed to win to keep within sight of promotion.  The kit was laid out ready and the players turned up with plenty of time to spare, all apart for the skipper of the day, who decided to take the long route to the ground.  We lined up with the same formation in the second game last week against Civil, 4-2- 3- 1.

The starting line up was: GK Swanny, CB Mark, CB Beans, RB Matt, LB Ram, CM Ty, CM Chris, LWF Trey, AM George B, RWF Callum, CF Richard.  Subs: Darren, Emmanuel, George H.

The game began, and we started well, the front 4 were getting forward and making chances.  Chris was staying in the position he was given and Richard was holding up the ball. South Bank also started well, they made the first break through and scored first when a ball was crossed in to their quick forward. Only for Matt to put the ball into his own net. He jumped for the ball and headed back to where he thought Swanny would be standing in the goal. This was not to be as Swanny was standing in other position getting ready to gather the incoming ball, like most of the first half lack of communication between players cost the first goal.  It only takes a week to go from hero to zero. I have now joined some of the own goal greats; Chappell, John K, Todt, and Kevin We levelled not long after their goal from a penalty when George B was taken down/pushed in the box.  With George being a contender for top goal scorer for the club, it was only right for him to take it, placing the ball in the bottom right corner, 1 – 1. Our second was scored by Callum, bit of a 6 yard box scramble between players, lead to Callum finding the ball and putting it beyond their keeper.  The first half we could have played slightly better, Chappell getting the ball caught under his feet a couple of time caused a few edgy moments, including a fall on his hip, thankfully he doesn’t need a hip replacement just yet. South Bank had chances as well, including their second goal which came from their midfielder, who gathered the ball just outside the box and hit the ball, Swanny attempting the save was just off his line and the ball off his palm went into the top of the net.  2- 2 the first half ended, a fair result.

Half time team talk which was to continue to press their defence and the goals will come and to also open mouths and talk more on the pitch.  One change, straight swap, Emmanuel on for Trey.

The second half was a lot better, the team, playing with a bit more confidence, started playing the ball around to feet. With this, we managed to score 3 more goals.  Callum getting his second, latching onto a great cross from George and Emmanuel grabbing a goal, slotting it into the top corner, 4 – 2. With the goals going in, it made changes easier as the match wasn’t so tight.  With about 20 minutes left to go Beans came off for Darren and Trey back on for Richard. The game was put to bed with Trey getting in on the act putting the ball in, to make it 5 – 2.  South Bank continued to try and get back, but defence stayed strong.  With just under 10 minutes to go we had a corner and Matt decided to make another change and bring himself on for Ram.  Little did Matt know that Ram had asked if he could go up for this corner, his face was a picture as if he had just been giving some sweets and then to have them taken away.  Matt wasn’t that cruel and cancelled the substitution to allowed Ram to venture into the opposition box for a chance to get on the score sheet. The corner came in and was knocked out for a goal kick.  Now the change could be made.  Merton saw out the last remaining minutes, the ref who had a good game blew the whistle for the end of the match.  Game finished 5 – 2, 3 big points for the 6s, as later, when the civil results came through after beating Old Blues twice, put both teams on 34 points. 3 big games left, can 9 points be enough to see the 6s gain promotion?

MOM went to Callum for his two goals and continual great play.

DOD: was it Matt for his own goal or was it Swanny for being very quiet and not shouting for the ball?  As Swanny says he’s never writing a match report I’ll take it this week.

Matt

Another glorious Spring morning dawned for the 4s’ second game of the Spring Cup at Woking on Saturday. Or so it seemed, until a potent bucket of rain descended upon what was already a fairly poor (and small) pitch. The lads who were there took refuge in the change rooms. Others were heading anti clockwise down the M25 at the time. And Kieran did his standard bi-monthly no-show.

25^th March 2017

Merton 6s vs Civil Service 8s Double Header Joseph Hood

This was defiantly a game of two matches, both teams walking away with 3 points.

We had 15 players, so George H took one for the team first game and sat out, team lined up: Swanny, Kevin, Mark, Beans, Matt, Chris, Neil, George B, Callum, Pete, Dan P, Subs: Alan, Ram, Trey

Lining up with a 4-4-2 formation, the first game started well for the first 10 minutes. That was until Beans tripped over his own laces leaving Chappell to defend their on coming forward.  I little late challenge caused the forward to go down, disputes as to whether it was in the box or not between Chappell and Ref, but penalty was awarded, 1 – 0.  They had a couple of quick forward players, one of which Kevin took out on the side line in the first half, he was getting a bit hot headed.  Could be the reason he sat out the next game to have a cool down.  We had chances but just couldn’t find the net and majority of their 4 goals came from hitting us on the break. The game ended 4 – 0, we gathered our self on the side line for the next match and knew that this had to be a win otherwise Civil would go above us in the league and be 2^nd.

Kevin, along with discussions with Manager for the day Ty, changed the formation. We needed to have bit more help in defence and so opted for two holding midfielders. Lined up 4-2-3-1, again we needed to have a drop out so Beans stepped forward and took one for the team in the second game. Team for second game was Swanny, Matt, Alan, Mark, Ram, Neil, Chris, George B, Trey, Callum, Pete. Subs: George H, Kevin, Dan P

This gave the 3 youngest freedom to roam up top with Pete helping to hold things up for hopefully them to get the goals. And this certainly worked as the goals starting to go in for us.  George B with the first with a peach of a through ball from Matt, well weighted for George to run on to and slot past their keeper, 1 – 0.  Callum got himself on the score sheet along with another goal from George.  They managed to claw one back, but with help from the two midfielders the defence stayed strong.  Another assist came from Matt, crossing deep toward the keeper, who fumbled it in the wind, for Pete to latch onto and put into the net.

The second game was a much better performance, and 6s deserving the win. There was a little bit of agro in the second half from a slightly bad tackle by George, which caused both teams to flare up (Kevin storming on to protect George) with each other, although to be honest it wasn’t that type of match.

Game ended 4 – 1, the win that the 6s needed to keep them 3 point clear of Civil, although they do have two games in hand. It is all to play for now for the 6s and their last 4 games.  Results need to go their way for them to still be within a chance of promotion.

MOM went to Matt for finding his new position at full back and having a solid game in both matches, plus setting up two goals which I may have mentioned.

Few other mentions go to Chris who finds himself in more positions on the pitch that the Karma Sutra, Chappell for giving away penalty, Beans for tripping over a divot or his laces and tumbling which lead to the penaltyl. Ram for thinking he had only 20 minutes for whole of both matches but pretty sure he got longer than that.  Kevin for losing head and taking out their winger whilst worrying whether the oppo had any ringers!!!

Match Report

Bank of England 5s v Merton 7s Match 1

A trip to Bank of England on a sunny Saturday can never be a bad thing, and throw in another double header to make 3 in a row, these 7s are getting use to long game days with the aid of some Merton legends, this week’s turn was Paul ‘Welchy’ Welch (17 years’ service for the club and still looks fit as a flea) and Stevie who steps in at late notice. We also welcome back Gubby in goal after a long absence through injury.

What a day, for once the squad arrived early (almost all, but won’t mention Malcolm till later), and was changed and on the worse pitch BOE had left available, this flat, freshly cut grass, almost carpet like pitch was unacceptable, no diverts, rolls or ankle snags to been seen… no excused for poor passing or under hit balls… although, there was a strong wind to contend with.

Prior to the game, and being out a full 40 minutes before kick-off, 7’s normal warm would be jog around and ping balls at each other whilst Dan & Martin organise a team and a formation… For some reason, ‘welchy’ took it upon himself to be ‘coach’ for the afternoon and got everyone lined up for a gently jog… and without warning, managed to turn this gently jog into a full blown pre-season training season with shuttle runs, passing (what’s that!!), Skins V Shirts…. The fear could be seen in the 7s, red faced and blowing hard (that’s just the 7s captain) and all before 2 hours of football, what was he thinking!!!!!!!!!!

Game 1 kicks off with 7s playing with a strong wind behind them (NOT the 7s captain this time!), and this soon became a 12^th man for the team, with BOE taking the first 5-10 minutes or so of play, never really threating the back four of Josh, Dan, Paul and Tom J until a deep cross from BOE left winger had Gubby scrabbling across goal for a well punched clearance, only for Dan to be tracking the balls flight and then place his nose in direct contact with Gubbys glove, resulting in getting red sauce everywhere!

Finishing with a whimper and a crumbled heap on the floor, this didn’t look good for the 7s player managers, having to leave the pitch for treatment, some clapped at the improvement the collusion made on the centre backs rearranged bugle.

Martin stepping in for Dan but steps in at left back, with Tom J join Paul at centre back, this still didn’t seem to rattle the back 4, marshalled by Paul, and with Gubby voice being heard clearly from the back, the team now had more than just the captains voice spurring them on, still soaking up the pressure, Noor on the left seem to be getting better with each game that passes and started to pull some strings, taking the ball in his stride and with his back to goal on the by-line, BOE right back closed him down, only for Noor to turn, drop the should and ‘MEG-NUTS’ the approaching player (made even better as it was in front of our own bench) and sprint on to his own through ball for a decent shot at goal which was well saved. This was just one of many times Noor took the game to them and once again didn’t go unnoticed amongst the squad

With the 7s now gaining more possession, and 10 minutes or so remaining (MALCOLM TURNS UP!!), A goal kick form Gubby finds Scott deep in the oppositions half, and with a good ball control, slots Adam in on the overlap who finishes low and well, 1-0 the 7s.

This stuns BOE back into action and straight from Kick off advance well into the 7s territory, only to once again to be face with Paul & Tom who break up play and calmly sweep the ball around and back up the field.

Halftime and a few changes, with Adam coming off for Denzel, the game soon started, and with the wind now in the 7s faces, it soon became the Alamo. BOE was relentless in the attack and wave after wave was beaten back by the whole squad, determined to hold onto the slim 1-0 lead. What seemed like an age, a few hero saves from Gubby and last ditch challenges from ‘everyone’, it was the shift we all put in that resulted in a deserved win.

MOTM: 2 players this week, Legend Paul Welch, great influence on the pitch and calm when needed, and once again, this strange fellow that keeps turning up and calling himself Noor (is that really you??)

DOTD: Wouldn’t have been Malcolm if he had turned up on time!

Match Report

Bank of England 5s v Merton 7s Match 2

As the squad walked off on a high, it was notable that everyone was still up for the next game, the difference of having double headers for the past 3 weeks seem to be paying off, as well as the warm up induced by ‘Welchy’ (there’s even talk of a warm up before every game and being the way forwarded!)

Standing (not sitting) and finally being joined by Malcolm halfway thought the first game, the team was eager to get the next on the go, with Malcom and Scott starting as the attack force and Stevie on for Martin, it was a fresh start for the 7s.

BOE looking to get revenge started once again playing into the wind, and again starting on the front foot with an attack form kick off, the passing seemed more fluent and the 7’s re-guard needed to be alert, the midfield of David & Tom, the hard tackling due was still managing to contain the opposite numbers, be it with the aid of the defence, was starting to look a bit tired

Halfway through he half and a fine move from back to front, Scott picks the ball up just inside the oppositions half, holding play up well, manged to find David pushing forward from the centre, taking the ball in his stride, runs at the BOE defence, making the centre back commit to closing him down, neatly slots Andrew ‘DOBBY’ Dobson in on the left and clear on goal, only the keeper to beat, strokes the ball past with his deadly left foot (not only for standing on!) and reels away in celebration.

With the lead and BOE broken, 7’s started to have more of the ball, Adam E out muscling the BOEs midfield, controlled the ball and rasped a shoot form 20 yards, only to see the power and spin, pull the ball on to the post with the keeper flat footed, it was now swinging in Merton’s direction

The first half plays out with the 7’s knocking back anything thrown at them, seeing this, Dan and his rather larger hooter, makes some timely changes to kill the game off, David coming off for the fresher legs of Adam, Noor on for Dobby who had a great for half, it didn’t take long before the 7’s took the game over.

Even playing into the wind, Noor was up to his normal tricks of skipping around the BOE right winger and tormenting the right back, with a few good shots and neat passing play between the team, Noor found himself able to cut in on the left and move more centre…

Dropping the old shoulder and unleashing a shot from 25 yards or more, it had the keeper groping thin air as the ball smashed off the crossbar, straight in the path of Scott who was happy to bundle the ball over for the second

BOE making a few changes and visibly tiring, the 7s however seemed to be going from strength to strength… Once again on the attack, it was the turn of Malcom, not to be out done by Scott, somehow manged to wiggle his way through on goal and calmly poke the ball past the advance keeper for number 3-0, and with 10 minutes to go, it would seem it was all but wrapped up

The talk on the side line was how great the team played, from back to front, everyone put a shift in, everyone having fun and Dan could not help but say it was great to get 2 clean sheets…. This, still with 10minutes of play left… I don’t think we got to say ‘don’t talk to soon’ as we kicked off after conceding a soft goal which we think was an own goal or a deflection or just switching off for a minute, either way 3-1 was the score and suddenly, BOE got there second wind and was pressing high up the pitch, the attacks was not being closed down and Gubby was now being called upon a little too often. With BOE appealing every decisions and feeling hard done by, the frustration boiled over with their influential midfielder swearing directly at the ref who had no hesitation in branding the red card and pointing to the dugout. Down to 10 men, both teams still manging to carve out a few half chances as the game clock ticked down and finishing 3-1.

A great rewarding day out and now 4 in a row un beaten for the 7s, which pushes them into the dizzy heights of 4^th in the league, although playing a game more than some, still a good achievement for the ‘Rag Tags’ who look to continue the fine run at home (anyone remember that place!) next week v OW 8’s.

MOTM: Across both games, vey consistent and composed – Gubby

DOTD: NONE chosen. (Although Malcolm should never be allowed near a free kick again!)

Team : Gubby, Josh, Dan, Tom J, Adam E, Tom R, David ©, Noor, Scott, Adam,

Martin, Stevie, Denzel, Andrew and we think Malcolm turned up at some point!

Under 9’s v NPL Youth

26.3.2017 NPL 3 Merton FC 4, on a beautiful sunny Mother’s Day away in Teddington Merton took on under 9’s NPL youth,  with 7 player’s Merton played a great game but it was a challenging match, NPL had some great pass techniques but Merton didn’t let that phase them, they kept up the pressure. Great team work all round, Presley and Tommy winning joint man of the match, both scoring 2 goals each with Presley playing on field second half after being in goal for the first half, Jack took the second half in goal making some brilliant saves and powerful long goal kicks.

Great defence work and some brilliant corner’s crossed in giving some goal scoring opportunities.

A great team effort well done Merton FC

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold; when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. In other words, for the second week running it was blowing a gale down at the not-so-fortress Hood.

Brilliant drying conditions for clothes, and indeed football pitches. As a result, the mini-mud peaks and bunkers of the upper pitch had turned into crusty mud divets, the pitch had turned ultra-bobbly. The chances of playing decent football anywhere near the middle of the pitch had evaporated – I would love to see Iniesta and Xavi play their tunes on this particular instrument.

But then the winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigator, so one should not complain.

Everyone was largely on time, so well done for that. And congrats to Kearnsy who had celebrated his birthday the night before. A good excuse for turning up bleary eyed, but it is difficult to tell with Kearnsy due to his permanent extra-enthusiamo American exterior. Less so with Charlie, who turned up looking a light shade of green. Meanwhile, on the fashion front, Vanny had decided to finally put his winter denim Bon Jovi outfit into the closet, but had obviously got a bit confused and accidentally pulled out his camp-rodeo comboy outfit. Unfortunately for him, he was the only person to turn up in fancy dress.

You might tell by this stage that I don’t really want to talk about the actual football match. The 1s are heading towards mid-table mediocrity, where the points don’t matter that much. We are not used to this – in the 10+ seasons I have been at the club, we have only been in this position once before. And we don’t seem to be reacting to it well.

But it does allow some room for succession planning. So Clappers started on the side line for the first time in my memory, with Sam taking over the captain’s arm band. His first coin toss for the club resulted in us playing into the wind (which was going diagonally across the pitch) in the first half.

The football was pretty horrific to watch. We struggled to pass our way forwards on this pitch, and high balls were blown back by the wind, so our best avenue out seemed to be low-ish long balls into the corners, where Johnny in particular looked like he might have the better of his man. But then (as Rat insisted on shouting at least 5 times) horrific football was fine by us as long as we went in nil-nil at half time as we would be playing with the elements in the second half. For 44 minutes and 55 seconds that is exactly what we achieved. The new Chaz-Browner centre back partnership was mopping up everything that made it through the midfield line of Wilgo, Van and Sam, which was not much.

Just one more long throw to defend and it would be mission accomplished. But the Chaz-Browner partnership fell apart for a crucial 5 seconds. Chaz called for it, the wind took it, it flicked off his head, hit Browner on the shin and nestled firmly into the far corner. The first goal a Merton player had manged from open play in over 200 minutes. The half time whistle came 10 seconds later. Wind (and Browner) 1 – Merton 0.

Playing with the wind in the second half, we duly dominated in terms of territory, but in truth we failed to adapt to the conditions. Charlie was holding it up well, but then lacked decent options to then pass it off to. A few times we got in crossing positions, but crosses were overhit with the wind, and underhit against it, and we simply don’t have much pace to open up teams over the top.

The only real opportunity came from a corner. Rat whipped in an excellent delivery (probably the only such one of the day), and Chaz steamed onto it. He met it beautifully from about 7 yards. Anywhere but at the keeper and it was in, but it of course then went straight at him, and he palmed it over well. I struggle to remember another shot we had on goal. I struggle to remember another shot they had on goal. So either it was a terrible match or my memory is just poor. Giving credit where it is due, their defence played very well.

We had one final chance. With 10 seconds to the final whistle, we had a free kick inside their half. Rat had had enough of seeing more junior players overhit the free kicks straight out. These youngsters just don’t have the experience to adapt to the windy conditions. So he marched over to the free kick, shouted everyone away, stepped back, strolled up, and duly overhit it with the wind straight out. Wind 1, Rat 0. Summed things up nicely – we were certainly not the ablest navigators in these conditions.

And the showers were cold, so a pretty rubbish effort all round. The possible exception was the 5000-miles-away Tilley whose post-match photos from Vegas were far more entertaining that the match. Apologies to Snooks, Max, and whoever else turned up to watch on the side lines for this dross. But apparently the 6s match on the next pitch was a lot more eventful. So now you have wasted your time reading about this non-event, I suggest you turn to their report.

Someone other than Browner needs to locate their scoring boots for the season defining semi-final of the cup next week.

MoM: Chaz – almost no one left with much credit, but he formed a solid (apart from 10 seconds) partnership at the back, and was decisive throughout. Including when his attempted 35 yard back pass in the second half went out for a throw on next to the corner flag, thus providing a small amount of entertainment.

DoD: Browner – one OG and one nil means there is one obvious candidate for dick of the day. And the rest of the team lacked the imagination to vote for anyone else. I complained bitterly at the injustice, but at least (for almost certainly the first time) both MoM and DoD penalty pints went down in one. Centre backs may not be cool, but at least they can drink.

Merton 2-4 West Wickham

The last day of winter was also the first of the Merton 4s’ Spring Cup campaign. It’s been a disappointing season which has sadly ended in a second relegation in a row. But results haven’t always reflected performances, and here was a good opportunity to put that right, and get some momentum going in order to finish on a high.

“High” being an interesting choice of word, as it may or may not have accounted for two absentees on the day – one of whom was good enough to call in “sick” 2 hours before kickoff, the other entirely uncontactable. We won’t mention names, except to say that, surprisingly, Kieran wasn’t one of them!

Anyway, onto the football, and a decent squad of 12, including some firepower in the form of Denys and wily cunning from the old warhorse Conor Murphy, took to the pitch and electing to go into the wind first up. The theory was that with a bit of grind and damage limitation, the Yellows could set themselves up nicely for a second-half assault.

And that’s pretty much how it went. This was actually decent stuff from the home side, despite adverse conditions and a poor pitch. Don’t get me wrong, free flowing football was at a premium, and this surely would have made for a woeful spectacle for any onlookers. But Merton were working hard, communicating well, and even looking very dangerous on the break occasionally.

Understandably, West Wickham with the wind at their backs enjoyed the better of territory and possession. Yet Kieran didn’t have a save to make. Which is why the opener, on about the half hour mark, was a bit disappointing to concede. In truth, Merton were a bit sluggish in closing down on the left, the ball bobbed about on the fringes of the box, and a very useful left-footed finish was applied into the top-left corner. 1-0 WW.

Although it was hardly cause for panic. A 1-goal deficit into that wind was about par if Merton could hold it to the break. Yet they went one better (it seemed). With minutes remaining in the half, a superb ball from Aaron fed Dom. He still had plenty to do, but beat a defender and slotted it under the keeper with aplomb to make it 1-1.

Celebrations, but with parity at the break now imminent, Merton shot themselves in the foot. A header was lost in the air, and the ball fell to their striker, who was in oodles of space. Kieran darted out to thwart the danger, but there was nothing he could do. 2-1, and the half time whistle went.

A disappointing blow, no doubt. But this was still a very respectable score line, and Merton should have been able to kick on from there with the wind now at their backs.

But, quite frankly, they never got going in the first 15 minutes of the second half, and, but for a decent early chance for Dom, Wickham were much the better side. The third goal was a tad unfortunate – a cross/shot that wickedly got caught up in the wind, and Kieran’s parry couldn’t keep it out. Kieran was perhaps a bit more accountable for the fourth goal, as he was unable to claim a loose ball that he’d come off his line to take.

That said, given the mediocrity of the all round second-half team performance, being 4-1 down was probably not much worse than Merton deserved. In fairness, the lads began to play much better for the final quarter of the game thereafter, and put a lot of pressure on the visitors. There were countless half chances upfront and plenty of goalmouth action, but the ball just wasn’t quite falling for them. Eventually they got one back, with a blatant pull in the box, which, for some reason the Wickham players saw fit to argue about.

Anyway, once all that died down, Dom stepped up and tucked his penalty away, perhaps slightly fortuitously, under the keeper. 4-2, and 10 minutes to go.

Merton kept up the pressure, and half chances continued to come thick and fast. But this seemed destined to be another one of those days. Another game that got away – one where, for the majority, Merton had played more than decently, but, due to silly errors, had left them departing the pitch shaking their heads in defeat. Still, plenty to build on, and hopefully with a full squad, a win lies in wait at Wokingians next week.

Goals: D Plumridge (2)
Team: Kieran Lee (GK), Ed Plaistow, Joe Plumridge, Mike Todt, Conor Murphy, Will Harrison, Mikey Elgar, Frankie Kalogirou, Aaron Loftus, Denys Zhurbiy, Dom Plumridge
Sub: Akram Choudhary
MOTM: Conor Murphy
DOTD: the two men mentioned in paragraph 1

Merton 0 v Weirside 2

I’m afraid this report is a bit lacklustre and lacking in content. Which is in keeping with our performance on Saturday!

Having played pretty poorly when we met Weirside in the cup a couple of weeks ago, and scraped through on penalties, this was our opportunity to prove that are much better than that. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be the case.

Weirside were a better team than we played in the cup and had three or four new recruits who gave them a cutting edge in midfield and upfront. That said we should still have been a good match but just never got into our stride. It was a windy day and the pitch was bobblely but as the cliché goes “It was the same for both sides”.

The only significant action of a scrappy first half was a very dubious penalty award which resulted in us going in 1-0 down. My half time rallying call/bollocking really worked a treat and we were soon 2-0 down to a good finish from inside the box. This woke us up and we started to bite in tackles and push forward but it was all too little too late.

Well done to Weirside for showing the spirit required to pull themselves out of the relegation places and we’ll need to pull our socks up ready for our cup semi in a couple of weeks.

No MOTM or DOTD as everyone was too despressed.

Team: Sherbs, Chaz, Browner, Clappers, Kearnsy (Adam Sandler/Rafa Benitez), Nick Van Winkle, Sam, Will Low, Jonny (Kieran), Charlie, Tom Rowe.