Author: Matt Haswell

MERTON FC 2

OLD WILSONIANS 1

After the disappointment of the cup run which means we can no longer qualify for the next round, focused was switched back to the league where a good season is anticipated! The regulars had returned from wooing there lady friends last week and the team had a look of familiarity to the squad. The gaffer had just about recovered from a traumatic week as he managed to get everyone a game of football and assisted in creating the new seventh team!

Anyway on to the game, Old Wilsonians 8’s is a problematic fixture for us in the past and we had already lost heavily to them in the cup, so a tough game was expected. With a good attacking team on paper it was time to put these youngsters through there paces and hopefully give them a good platform to start there adult football adventure with Merton.

Merton with pace on both flanks and up top started brightly. Every player was enjoying early touches on the ball and looking to play out from the back which was a breath of fresh air!

It wasn’t long before chances were being created with Callum and Pete both going close. The midfield pair of Ty and Chris dominated and made it difficult for Wilsons to create many chances. Midway through the first half Merton got the breakthrough. A superb, long and accurate throw in from Skipper (and report writer!) found Paul in the area who superbly turned and shot (or crossed) and the ball looped over the keeper into the net, 1-0 Merton.

After we scored Wilson’s began to up there game and Merton were on the back foot. Dangerous free kicks were given away and there wingers were starting to stretch the play. Inevitably disaster struck and Wilsonians scored. Good play from their winger who managed to slip past Ram and set up their striker one on one with Swanny who managed to dink it over him and with the skipper anticipating this, tried to clear off the line but got the faintest of touches to no avail. Some of the squad are saying this was an own goal, but I’m not having it!

After dominating the play we were left wondering if this was going to be one of them days! Our heads slightly dropped and our crisp play was starting to desert us. Then the moment of controversy in the game. If this was the premier league this would have been on all the back pages and still be talked about in years to come!!

Wilsons broke and with Smithy not sure whether to go ball or runner left them both! Wilsons were in behind (calm down John!) and after a squared ball we were all waiting for the net to bulge and be 2-1 down! However instead of simply kicking the ball in the net, the striker fell over the ball, and decided to use a hand in knocking the ball in instead – a goal was given and there was outrage (Ty should have been booked as was out of order to the ref!). This is where the spirit of the SAL comes into play and with the oppo skipper noticing the handball and striker also partially admitting it, the goal was chalked off. My hat goes off to the skipper and will make sure an email is sent to the club praising his efforts!

This seemed to finally spark Merton back into life and maybe gave us the kick up the arse we needed! After winning tackles and starting to get the ball down chances were being created again and it wasn’t long before we re-took the lead, great play from Paul led to him finding Callum who cut inside and took a shot which was pushed in the net by the keeper making it 2-1 and it wasn’t even half-time yet.

Half-time came and went and to be honest the second half flew by without much incident! Changes were made by Merton and all who came on had blinders! We even introduced one of the youngest player in Merton’s history with Dylan making his debut!

Chances again came and went for Merton and we should have added to our scoreline and we were still wondering if we would rue these chances. Wilsonians did have a couple of half chances but the defence stood strong and with them tiring due to no subs Merton held on for the win.

One sour note was Swanny putting his back out which could see him sidelined for a while, but up stepped the skipper to stand in goal for the final moments (when they found a proper adults shirt that fitted him!!!)

Anyway let’s hope we can carry this form onto next weeks game and as I write this report numbers are high so bare with the manager!

TEAM: Swanny, Ram, Adam (Beans), Mark, Kevin, Callum, Chris, Tyrone, Paul, Pete, Trey

SUBS: Adam, George, Dylan

MAN OF THE MATCH: The whole squad played really well and this was our best game this season! But a clear winner this week was Paul – well played that man!!

DICK OF THE DAY: I am not happy about this but apparently after scoring an own goal (it wasn’t) and at fault for the controversy (I didn’t see the runner!) and the shirt debacle. Yes its me (Kev!) – as the saying goes “every dog has its day!”

Our Under 14s held their 7th league game at ‘THE HOOD’ against Bedfont Eagles again after meeting them in 2nd Round of the Invitation Cup Away from Home knocking them out 4-1. Immediately from the start you could see the confidence flowing, with the U14s dominating possession straight away creating a host of chances in & around the opposition area.  10 minutes in Dwayne Clarke opened the scoreline with a tidy finish! great assist by Mattia Salardi cutting inside from the left & rolling it across the 6 yard box. Christopher Sindika Top goalscorer for the 14s was quick to score the second with a long range effort! The first half was a solid despite the opposition trying their best to retain possession but the 14s seemed to be superior displaying great passing ranges across the pitch and players quick to regain the ball when losing it. This followed right through the second half with the match ending 11-0. Probably 14s strongest display as a TEAM! The scorers were Mattia Salardi with (2), Dwayne Clarke (3), Alfie Waters (1), Boris Mijalcev (1), Chris Sindika (2), Jamal Semambo (1) & Marcus Scotland (1). Congratulations to Jamie Berry 2 clean sheets in a row, Merton U14s still sit top of the league with 19  points with 7 games played! A Great confidence boost for the next fixture in the 3rd round of the Invitation cup against AFC Ewell! (Away)

Chiswick is fast becoming a home from home for us this year, and we made the long, arduous and at times torturous journey down for the third time this season having taken maximum points from the first 2. We arrived early [apart from this weary match reporter travelling down from Manchester] and were suitably warmed up before the game – slightly worrying was the tired faces after the mildest of exercises but we started quickly nonetheless.

In the early stages of this game we seemed to be set on writing the wrongs of last week and were pressing and defending as a collective. It took around 10 – 15 minutes for us to create our first real chance, with the ball breaking to Andy Bitmead who turned and ran at the defence. As he approached the 18 yard box, he carefully stroked the ball towards goal with his left foot. The ball beat the keeper, but agonisingly for the 5s struck the foot of the post and rebounded perfectly for their defence to clear.

The 5s were immediately on the offensive again though, and the ball was played over the top for Dulanjie to chase. It seemed a lost cause with the defender having such a head-start, and in truth the defender should have had total control of the situation. It seemed he was put off by the whole of their team demanded he put the ball out for a corner; either that or he was in deep contemplation over what to have for dinner later. The houndish Dulanjie sniffing an opportunity managed to catch the defender and swing a long limb around the defender and prod the ball past the keeper. He claims it was a leg, however without video evidence it remains uncertain which limb did make contact – all we know is that the 5s were 1 up and Dulanjie maintains his rich goal scoring form.

Speaking of Rich, he was the next to come close. As a result of some excellent interchange between Rich, Dulanjie and Andy, the ball was laid back to Rich 20 yards from goal. His ferocious effort dipped and swerved but unfortunately, marginally too late to ripple the back of the net. A fine effort though – surely a matter of time!

In fairness to the opposition, they reacted pretty well to going a goal down and got themselves into the game. We defended resolutely in spite of the pressure, limiting them to long range chances that were effortlessly caught by Sam in goal. The one time he was worked meaningfully was when their forward latched on to a through ball, however was met by Sam who was quick off his line and narrowed the angle to make it impossible for the striker to slot it past him. That save was to be the only good save of note that he was forced to make, but he made it comfortably.

Apart from a difficult header for Dulanjie that he narrowly mistimed, the first half ended without much more excitement. The second half saw the 5s defence dominate, leaving Sam in goal redundant – he may as well have brought one of the new “ipad” devices and watched final score whilst chilling with a can of Carlsberg. At the other end, we were continuing to create chances, however they were mostly half chances and we struggled to score the elusive second goal. That is until the final couple of minutes, when Dulanjie picked the ball up just outside the box, turned and rifled a shot that deflected off the defender and beat the hapless keeper to end the game at 2 – 0. Own goal, perhaps? We will give Dulanjie the benefit of the doubt on this one.

And thus the flying 5s soared to a heroic victory off the back of a terribly disappointing result last week. We performed well as a team and most players came off notably exhausted, with Gibbo in particular moving as limply as a cat that had been run over by a double decker bus. Everyone performed well & deserves a pat on the back. The man of the match award though was given to Delman, who was unbelievably solid throughout, outpacing all of their forwards to literally run rings around them. Other performances of note were the remarkably solid Steve and Clive at the back who did not put a step wrong, Dwayne and Aaron whose pace caused Poly’s back line no end of problems, Gibbo who was combative in the centre of midfield with Ackers and Andy getting on the ball and dominating possession, and the impressive Dulanjie who added another 2 to his impressive tally for this season. Well played lads, let’s do our best to take this into the next game.

MERTON FC  2

SOUTH BANK CUACO  0

Fresh off of the back of this season’s first win, the Sixes welcomed South Bank back down to the Hood for the early kick-off. A little too early for some, with Paul turning up just moments before the start, keeping traditions alive and well. John would be so proud.

There were some enforced changes to last week’s winning team, with Chris unavailable and Swanny having that back of 90 year old. In came Anan hungry for minutes on the pitch, and Kieran, thirsty for… well we all know what Kieran is thirsty for.

After the usual drill sergeant like levels of motivation from the gaffer, and finer tactical pointers (“Give the ball to the young lads”, “Kieran, if you’re seeing three balls just stop the middle one”), we were ready for blood.

The first half was a tight affair, with both teams playing some decent football, but neither team making the breakthrough. Merton did get some luck though with South Bank losing a player to injury, and thus having no subs for the rest of the game. No we had to take advantage to of this and test the tiring South Bank legs.

At this point it should be noted that the defence were particularly playing a blinder, holding a compact, but high defensive line, and winning first balls left, right and centre. South Bank’s dangerous forward line were getting frustrated. George was having the best game of is Merton career.

The only real trouble to speak of was a couple of misunderstandings between the back four and the stand in keeper. The defence left, what they thought were, a couple of easy balls for the keeper. But with Kieran on the look out in case any WADA testers turned up, he was slow off of his line.

Luckily we made it to half time without any disasters. 0-0.

Fresh legs were needed up top, so on came Paul and Scott. The less said about Ram’s brief, but brave, cameo the better.

The pressure was all Merton. Corners, free kicks and long throws were all flung into the box, but still no break through.

Finally the break through came. Paul made a strong run into the box and was sent tumbling to the ground by the keeper. Blatant penalty surely?! All eyes went straight to the referee, who remained impassive. In the confusion Scott found the ball at his feet and found the back of the net. 1-0 Merton.

Merton continued to have the best of the play and soon enough all eyes were again on the referee, demanding another penalty. Scott found himself in a position to shoot and tried his best to bend the ball into the top corner. His best wasn’t all that good. The ball was flying miles wide, but for some unknown reason a South Bank defender threw a hand at the ball. This time even the ref couldn’t deny it.

Now the arguments begin. Who will take it? The usual suspects are all interested. Pete. How many did you miss last season? Ty. Not the way you’ve been taking free kicks today. Kev. No chance gaffer. So up stepped Scott, in the midst of fine goal scoring run. He did his best to miss it, he really did. He hit it straight at the keeper. But he fumbled the ball, and bang, 2-0.

All Merton had to do was see out the remaining minutes of the game, and do nothing stupid.

South Bank had nothing left to give and their frustrated forwards had no answer to Merton’s experienced and robust defence.

It ended 2-0. A second straight win and the Sixes find themselves 3^rd in the league. Bring on next week and Alleyn Old Boys down at the Hood.

TEAM: Kieran, Kev, Chappell, Beanz, George, Adam, Anan, Ty, Callum, Trey, Pete.

SUBS: Scott, Ram, Paul.

MAN OF THE MATCH: Unanimous this week. Nothing and no one got past George at right back this week.

DICK OF THE DAY: It could’ve been Ram for his brave effort whilst playing ill (hungover). It could’ve been Paul for his phenomenal time-keeping. But this week Adam was literally Dick of the Day. A dick so popular that even one of the opposition players had to have a feel.

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Today’s Results.
A day of mourning the Loss of Nick P, his 3s and all our teams paid tribute to him at the start of their games. We were pleased to welcome Chris and Nicks’ friends on this sad day. The 1s drew 0-0 with HSBC in an unpleasant encounter. The 2s lost 1-0 away at Weirside. The 6s won 2-0 against South Bank in an early Kick off. Scott Shew scoring both goals in a good win. The 3s unfortunately lost 3-1. The 4s pulled off an impressive 5-0 win, and the 5s got back to winning ways with a 2-0 win.

After the disappointment of last week’s away defeat, we were keen to change said fortunes around. Back to the fortress Hood. Both Sam and Jonny on time, a good omen right? Even before starting the warm up, news of an Injury on the far pitch meant a 15 minute delay to the start of the game. Thus a chance for us to go through Clappers dynamic warm up. Why so many squats? Why do the lines cross? No wonder I shout at him.

Personally, from last week’s performance, the main reason we came away empty handed, aside from Woody/De Bruyne/Aguero and pals penalty antics was the lack of bite all over the pitch. We welcomed back Sam, Tilley and Nick in the midfield which was a needed boost.

The emphasis was to start quickly and make sure we competed physically. However the first 15 minutes belonged fully to EBOG. They passed the ball very quickly and were direct in their play. Their number 10 made some incisive runs, but just couldn’t finish. Siri with a couple of blocks one on one.  I think the general consensus was that it would only be a matter of time before they scored as we could not get a foot hold in the game. However this eased as we started to play the ball around more. Both Jonny and Milo found success against their opponents and Charlie had the beating of his man every time. Charlie had a glimpse of goal in the first half and was probably unlucky not to hit the target when he had a little more time. Chaz scoring from a free header from 5 yards out would have been the icing on the cake, however as against IBIS, he has a tendency to head wide.

While the first 15 belonged to EBOG, the rest of the first half definitely belonged to us. They started to give away needless fouls and get on the referees back which only worked in our favour. Come half time, the message was to go again. Keep up the same intensity. Shout out to Nick for being a calming influence on the side line for Harrison.

Again we started the second half brightly, the three up top all providing great out balls. However we started to fade from around 55 minutes in and EBOG came back into the game. Again their number 10 had the beating of our back four, but couldn’t put countless chances away. (See Ballotelli vs Manchester United 2014). The game became very open and we started to create clearer cut chances. Chaz picking up the ball from a throw at right back forced his way to the right wing, laid the ball off to Jonny and made the run into the box, Jonny found him with an inch perfect ball and from 5 yards out he ballooned over. Typical Chaz. EBOG created a couple more chances, but were dealt with by Siri/the back four.

The last 15 minutes were all about Merton. Again from another corner Chaz staying up top, chested the ball down and re-enacted Frank Sinclair vs Barnsley, only to be denied by the bar. The chances were coming thick and fast, Jonny again ghosted past their right back and with three lining up on the penalty spot, tried to beat the keeper at the near post. James also impressed in his cameo as he often does. He was unlucky not to curl past the keeper with the last kick of the game.

Overall a good point earned, as both teams could have won the game, but a feeling that we probably had done enough to nick it. Every player put in a shift against the best opposition so far this season. Very much an improved display from the week before. Many positives to take forward. Man of the match was Chaz. Very well deserved as he has put in a number of strong performances recently. DOTD was a difficult one at first as there were no real mistakes/errors. Missing two chances from 5 yards out is cardinal sin though, so Chaz has the fortune of also being DOTD.

Team : Siri (GK), Kearnsey, Chaz, Clappers, Browner, Sam, Tills, Woody, Milo, Charlie, Jonny

Subs : James Laughton, Nick

Merton 2-7 Nottingham University Oilers

Following two very unfortunate and undeserved cup defeats in three weeks, Merton went into yet another cup game on Saturday against Nottingham University Oilers. Despite knowing the quality of the opposition, the Boars approached the match in good spirits, eager to take their last chance at a  cup run this season.

Unfortunately they never really got going, and found themselves 1-0 down within minutes of the kick-off following quick, intricate build up play from the opposition. It was a pace of play that, in truth, Merton struggled to keep up with for most of the first half, and although at times looking like they might grab a foothold in the game, ended up 3-0 down at the break with few arguments offered.

That being said, it is a testament to the spirit and burgeoning togetherness of the group that words at half time were calm rather than angry and encouraging instead of critical. An improved early second half performance saw, after conceding a fourth goal, Merton get one back as Ben Cook – who shrugged off a back injury to play a good spell in midfield – lofted a lovely ball over the top of the defence that Wilgo put away with aplomb. A birthday goal for the Merton captain.

A reshuffle of the team due to injury then saw the Boars rather lose their shape for the remainder of the game, and caution was well and truly thrown to the wind. Three more goals were conceded before Glenn pulled another back with a wonderfully creative / incredibly lucky (depending on who you ask) cross-come-shot that was planted in the top corner. Further chances to add some respectability to the score-line were spurned after yours truly missed a difficult header from a great Wilgo cross and then five minutes later somehow failed to score from six yards out as the ball was fired across from the right wing. Was I still feeling the effects of having been hit in the bollocks following what can only be described as a valiant, self-sacrificing and brave block in the first half? Who can definitively say? Me, and yes I was.

So, a disappointing result overall against a team that simply outclassed us on the day. Nonetheless, we left with spirits in decent fettle and with determination to kick-start our league campaign next week. Onwards and upwards

Man of the Match: Glenn, who’s goal was considered “genius” by enough people to win him the honour

Dick of the day: Me, mostly for the miss, partly for getting hit in the bollocks