Author: Matt Haswell

Calling all Youth members… we’ve now arranged our Christmas Party for December. After an overwhelming vote in favour of it, we’ve decided to reserve all the lanes at David Lloyd Bowling on December 3rd. The price is £15.00 per child, which includes unlimited bowling from 16:30 – 20:00, and a buffet including Pizza, Hot Dogs, Chips, Chicken Goujons. We’ve also reserved the top section exclusively for Merton FC.

There are only 50 spaces available, and numbers have already filled up fast. So, with only a few spots remaining, please contact Steve Dewsbury ASAP to book your spot and avoid missing out.

Look forward to seeing you there for what should be a fantastic evening!

Alrighty, here we go with the results.
The 1s are on a roll, winning 4-2 on pens in the cup against BoE, after drawing 2-2.
2s lost 2-1 in a hard fought encounter against St James.
3s won 3-2 on pens (all that practice at the club day is paying dividends) against civil service after 1-1 AET.
4s lost 5-1 to a good polytechnic side.
6s lost 4-1 against Old Salesians.
And start the drumroll… Clive’s magic 5s did it AGAIN!! 1-0 victory over Old Wilsonians.
Vets lost 1-0 to OWC, the vets (war babies) MOTM was pat murphy & had to wear the “helmet” for the duration of the day….main reasons were because he got injured & wore his shorts inside out ! (or was it upside down) ……
And as you can see, a full house at the Hood. Cracking day, well done to everyone!

TEAM: 5^th Team

POSITION: Centre Back

BIRTH DATE: 12^th June 1979

BIRTH PLACE: Maidenhead

PREVIOUS CLUBS:

Winchmore Hill (near Amersham) 1998-2008

White Horse Pub Chalfont St Peter 2008-2010

RAPID FIRE:

Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): Laurent Koscielny

Childhood Team: Arsenal

Favourite team in the UK: Arsenal

Favourite team outside the UK: At a push Real Madrid

Childhood Hero: He-Man

Favourite Food: Pizza & Curry (can’t pick between them)

Favourite Drink: Beer

Favourite Band: The Prodigy

1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

Outside of football, I’m a husband, father of two children and Finance Manager (accountant) at Sony, working for the UK Channels division. Generally speaking I’m a laid back kind of guy, and large video games and BBQ enthusiast always looking to find new ways to cook meat with fire.

2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

Having just had the first of my two children, I was looking to join a club closer to home. I took my daughter to play at Joseph Hood rec and noticed 3 games going on at the same time. I made some enquiries and then started pre-season training in August 2010.

3. What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?

October 2012 at Old Actonians, I was on the bench nursing a hangover, watching the team miss various chances and then come in at half time 1-0 down. I came on with about 25 mins to go and score two goals (from set pieces obviously) to win the match 2-1.

4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

As an Arsenal fan I would have to pick them. I struggle to play as other teams on FIFA.

5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

I always get dressed in the same manner each week. I also try to sit in the same place in every changing room I go into.

6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

Having started the season off so well, it would be great to bounce back with promotion, I’d like to score a goal or two and finally shave Luke’s beard off by the end of the season again.

IBIS Eagles away 24/9/16

Last season’s game saw us dominate with no reward, so to come out winners of this seven goal thriller was even more satisfying.

We started well, defending strongly, winning the ball in midfield and getting in behind the IBIS fullbacks. It was this combination that led to us taking the lead.

Sam brought a defensive clearance down, turned his man, and played a great ball over the top of their left back for Vanny to run on to. He took the ball in his stride, ran into the box, and finished low and hard at the near post. 1-0

Whether it was over confidence or just sloppiness, all of a sudden our defenders became their best attacking threat. We managed to play in their centre forward twice when a simple pass to a man in yellow was on. The first two times he let us off but it was third time unlucky for us. Chaz didn’t get enough on a back header to me, I then only managed to head the ball against the on rushing centre forward and he broke forward. There was still a chance to recover but, with Siri narrowing the angle and me back on the cover, Chaz decided the best option was to scythe him down. 1-1 from the resulting penalty.

Only a very good smother from Siri, late in the half, kept it all square at half time.

IBIS began the second half on the front foot but it was us who struck next. Woody sent in a deep free kick, which I headed down to an unmarked Chaz. He controlled and turned in his debut goal to make it 2-1. This should’ve been the signal for us to take control but again we opted for the complete opposite and pressed the self destruct button as hard as we could.

Firstly we conceded our second penalty. We were slow to pick up the IBIS centre back and then let him run 20 yards with the ball. A ricochet just outside our box saw him break through and now it was my turn to bring their man down. 2-2 and more good work wasted.

Five minutes later and my finger was still hard down on the aforementioned button. An innocuous pass was played to me midway into our half. I controlled the ball, looked up, and……slipped over! Their centre forward picked up the loose ball and gleefully ran through to score. 3-2, a very buoyant IBIS and red faced me.

Thankfully our new look team is full of characters with real strength in depth.

Sam, Woody and Tills took control of midfield whilst Charlie and Jonny, both fresh off the bench, harassed and ran at the IBIS back line. One burst from Charlie saw him brought down in the left channel. Woody delivered a good ball to the back post where an IBIS defender kindly headed in. 3-3 and our tails were now up but time was against us.

With 10 minutes left on the clock the game was won with the best goal of the game, by far.

Chaz had the ball deep in our half and knocked a great ball over their left back. Tilley flicked it on to Charlie on the corner of the 18 yard box. As the ball dropped over his shoulder he unleashed a dipping volley which sailed over the rooted keeper and nestled in the far bottom corner. 4-3 and a great finish to an entertaining game.

We headed off on our night out in high spirits and Vanny dressed as Jon Bon Jovi.

MOTM: Charlie (with mention to Kearnsey and Sam)

DOTD: Clappers (not the best week for me to bring this in)

Line up: Siri, Will Low, Chaz, Clappers, Kearnsey, Sam, Woody, Tilley, Vanny (Jonny 65), Tom (Charlie 70), Milo (Nick 80)

I recently attended a Match Report Writers Association gathering, of which they all offered their condolences. “How do you remember all those missed chances?” they ask me, fully understanding that misses are harder to remember then goals. In truth, it is impossible – there are just so many! However, I will yet again try my best, but when you are sitting down for supper on a Saturday night, spare a thought for the poor match report writer, scratching his head with one hand and holding a pen in the other, struggling to recall the misses of the day and which ones to include in the report.

We started the match positively, opening the scoring within the first 3 or 4 minutes – a situation that we found ourselves at the tail end of last year far too many times. The ball was played to Dulanjie, who turned with it on the half way line and made like Usain & bolted. Breaking free of the defence, Dulanjie found himself 1 v 1, a situation that he has found himself a couple of times this season. This time, however, he confidently and firmly stroked the ball into the far corner of the net to put the mighty 5s 1 – 0 up. It must be pointed out that Dulanjie is now on a 3 in 3 record – a very commendable one for a striker. Could this be the day where we run away with a game? Could it be an easier match report to write? Of course not.

In truth, a sure-fire sign that this was going to be a strange game was when I found myself uncharacteristically with the ball at my feet in a 1 v 1 in the box. I had already wrote the glorious finish into the match report in my head by the time I realised I had gently passed the ball harmlessly out for a goal kick. As if this situation was not strange enough, a free kick flicked on by Clive found its way to Lenners in the 6 yard box. He took it down superbly and the first thought was “surely not”. Sensing that this couldn’t be happening, the referee blew for offside, however it is worth noting that the keeper pulled off a brilliant save anyway.

Then came the strong penalty shouts. Like a tiger, Dwayne pounced onto the loose ball in the area. Sensing the onrushing defender, Dwayne put his body in the way, enticing the rather foolish contact from the Actonian’s defender. Despite a slight tap, Dwayne ended up spread-eagled on the deck, ready to receive as if it were naked Lee time. Dwayne smashed the penalty down the middle, with the keeper kindly moving out the way to make it 2 – 0. Followed was an even stronger shout. Aaron Byrne beat the defender in the box and short of a metal chair to the face, this could have been a wrestling move. Aaron was wrestled to the floor when he would have been 1 on 1, but the shout was no penalty. The half ended with us 2 – 0 up.

A particular positive from the half, which would be continued in the second half, was how comfortable our defence was – not something that we could say often last year! The back 5 [keeper included] of Sam in goal, Josh, Darren, Lenners and Delman were equal to anything that they threw at us. Apart from one chance towards the end of the game where they missed a header from just a few yards out, they did not create many meaningful chances at all. This was to be the first time that I have seen the 5s hold out for a clean sheet – a marvellous defensive effort for the team.

It would be easy to be consumed by the misses at the other end of the pitch, however it is worth remembering that we are creating a lot of chances per game – it would not be an over exaggeration to say that we could easily have at least +15 goal difference from our first three games. If this goes on for much longer, however, Disney could probably make a film of our woes called Merton 5s and the Curse of the 2 Goals; such is our aversion to scoring more than 2 despite the chances that come our way. Latching on to through balls, Dulanjie manufactured more 1 on 1 situations, yet their goalkeeper made a few good saves. However the film would mainly be starring our Chuckle Brothers Aaron & Dwayne on this occasion; admittedly there was much more of the “to me” as the “to you”. Dwayne cut in beautifully from the left, attracting their full back on the far side over. A simple ball across would leave Aaron with an empty net, however on the stretch Dwayne hit the ball out the park for a home run. Aaron then returned the favour, cutting in from the right and attracting their defence over, leaving space for Dwayne on the far side. Aaron’s shot was powerful, but at the keeper. Both players aghast that the other didn’t pass, I think we’ll call it even on this occasion – but the way the chances were created is a very encouraging factor.

We threatened to open the floodgates, but then remembered that the pitches at Merton probably would be unlikely to hold, so left it at 2 – 0 for the remainder of the game. And we were not short of man of the match contenders this week. Dwayne scored his first for the season, Dulanjie increased his tally to 3 in 3, Aaron B tore their left back to shreds and Ackers deputised for Andy Bitmead in an attacking role expertly, using the ball well throughout the game. However it seemed inevitable that in our first clean sheet that the award would go to one of our defensive players. Delman and Josh were faster, wiser and stronger than their counterparts, not allowing anything to come down the wings. Lenners was strong in every tackle he went for and did not get sent off despite us having a ref partial to a red card for dissent [very much worth a mention]. However, the man of this match is Darren Avey, who was completely dominant at the back, winning everything in the air and alleviating so much pressure when they were throwing the kitchen sink at us. He was denied the taking of the penalty despite being the best taker at the club, but played a big part in our clean sheet and is a deserving winner.

NAME: Ryan Gresty

TEAM: 2s

POSITION: Centre mid

BIRTH DATE: 7/1/85

BIRTH PLACE: Norf London

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Old Finchleians 2002-2011

1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

I’m a Mechanical Engineer for TFL. So if you want to know some mildly interesting tube facts or just have a moan about the service, I’m your man. I’m also a big traveler; always keen on a trip away particularly if it involves riding a motorbike or watching England play cricket. Have I ever told you about the time I ended up on a huge piss up with half the England team after winning the Melbourne test in 2010?

2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

I used to hate playing against Merton when I was a north Londoner, especially when we (Finchley 3s) lost the league by a point to your lot in 2010/11. Once I moved south of the river I decided if you can’t beat em, join em and am delighted that I did.

3. What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?

Scoring the winner in the 2s’ pulsating 4-3 victory over Ally Park last season. Left footed… aimed for the bottom left corner….ball went top right. Then they went straight up the other end and we needed a Sherbs wonder save to seal the victory. I got very drunk that night!

4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

The Detroit Red Wings NHL team. I used to play a bit of ice hockey, still watch plenty of it, and have been to a handful of Red Wings games over the years. When I got into hockey in the early 2000s they were perennial winners but these days they’re a bit crap so maybe I could get in the side if I dusted off my skates.

5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

I listen to the Al Pacino speech from Any Given Sunday on the way to a game (and have been known to recite the whole thing on special occasions). Also the Gladiator sound track. Strength and honour!

6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

Simple: winning the league with the 2s. It’s about time I brought in some silverware for MFC.

RAPID FIRE:

Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): Wilgo

Childhood Team: Man Utd

Favourite team in the UK: Heart of Midlothian

Favourite team outside the UK: Anyone who are playing England at football or rugby (sorry – Scottish heritage!)

Childhood Hero: Roy Keane

Favourite Food: Blueberry pancakes

Favourite Drink: Tea. Strong, no sugar and loads of milk please.

Favourite Band: Manic Street Preachers

At last – a positive match report to write!

After the disappointment of the week before it was time to re-group and go again.

Things got off to a good start as almost everyone turned up on time, but there is always one late and this week it was Chris!

Starting line-up was as follows: Merton’s number 1, Swanny in goal, back 4 of Kev, Chappell, Beans and Martin.  The three midfielders were Ty, Paul and Matt and the three strikers were Scott, Pete and Dave. Impact subs were Ram, Malcolm and Chris.

Anyway to the game, after last week’s disaster it was safe to say we started the game much brighter and were at least to trying to move the ball quicker this week.  In the early stages of the game we created some great chances with Scott missing a guilt edge chance when one on one and Dave hitting the post, to which  I have never seen a ball hit the inside of a square post and go off for a throw in!

After making a few subs during the first half the momentum slightly shifted with South Bank coming back into the game but they failed to create any chances.  At half time the game was still 0-0.

After the half time team talk, we again started brightly and the first 15 minutes flew by – so much so that the ref didn’t know how minutes had gone (he was an entertaining chap!).

Mid-way through the half Merton’s breakthrough finally came.  A mix up in the South Bank defence and with a bit of pin ball around the box, Scott swept home for his first of the season.

After we scored South Bank came back into the game and had a couple of half chances.

Then as we entered the latter stages of the game, South Bank equalised.  It was disappointing as we had a throw in near the corner flag, but failed to capitalise and they broke quick.  Some of the squad say it was the left backs fault as he was up the field and failed to get back, the left back says it was a poor throw in and the centre half and keeper should have done better!

Anyway after they equalised with us being on top for most of the game, our heads slightly dropped and then the unthinkable happened.  A long ball over the top and with Chappell thinking he was on rugby pitch, he brought down the striker on then edge of the area.  Luckily he wasn’t last man and to be fair Chappell did slip, so it was only a booking.  From the resulting free kick, the striker bent the ball into the top corner (of the keeper’s side – sorry Swanny!) and they went 2-1 up.  We were all thinking the worse was going to happen and especially after we dominated the vast majority of the game.

With time ticking away, the lads re-focused and after a superb 40 yard pin point pass, the gaffer found Paul who outmuscled the defender to smash the ball high into the net for a deserved equaliser!

The game finished 2-2 and we move onto next week!

Special mention to the South Bank lads who played the game in a good, but competitive sprit and it was great to see them in the bar afterwards to discuss a few talking points.

Man of the Match:

To be fair this was a difficult decision as everyone had a good game.  After counting the votes Beans, Chappell and Paul got nominations but this week it goes to Dave who had the majority of votes and had a great game up top and held the ball up well!

Dog of the Day: Again a difficult decision – votes were received for Gaffer (who apparently went missing for the equaliser and wasn’t happy with the throwing!), Pete (for booting the ball away when upset with a decision, and was lucky not to get booked) and for Scott (for missing a sitter!). Unanimous decision this week though was for a player on competitive debut – step up Chris! (this was for being slightly late, then forgetting shin pads were part of the footballers attire!)

See you next week when we play Old Salesians!

Written by the Gaffer

Old Owens 2nd XI 1 – 1 Merton 2nd XI
Old Owens win 6-5 on penalties.

Merton suffered a heartbreaking penalty shootout loss against an Old Owens side several divisions above them, denying them a famous win/cupset/insert giant killing metaphor here.

With 12 brave players making the trip outside(!) the m25 to Potters Bar for this fixture, Merton immediately made use of their relative unfamiliarity by taking the unusual step of not warming up with a football. No pre game intelligence (or a football) at all…until the referee gave us a ball with 5 mins before kick off. The best laid plans…

Despite (or because) of this Owens started the stronger, moving the ball well and threatening from wide positions and set pieces. Sherbs had already plucked a couple of dangerous crosses from the heads of opposing players before another whipped cross just failed to be turned in at the near post.

After weathering this initial pressure, Merton began to grow into the game and slowly began to force Owens back. Jason started to get some joy holding up the ball in his lone forward role and the midfield began to get on the ball as a result. Mike, Andy and Darcy in the middle began to find Joe and Alex on the wings. As Merton grew into the game, the chances began to come. First a great channel ball from fullback Clowesy brought a throw in near the corner flag and neatly worked to pick out Alex at the back post. Despite a great leap the ball just went over the crossbar.

More half-chances at both ends came as the half continued, with Mike Stone volleying wide from the edge of the area after great work from Alex and Darcy. A brilliant crossfield diagonal from Alex almost saw Dan K in behind on the opposite wing before being cut back to Darcy but Merton couldn’t quite find the finish. At the other end the back four of clowesy cookie pearcy and connor was soaking up everything Owens could throw at them.

Then, just before half time Merton took the lead. Great work down the left saw the ball worked into the area and to Alex’s feet. As time seemed to stand still suddenly Darcy’s voice could be heard saying “hit it, son”, and Alex duly delivered, striking the ball inside the keeper’s near post. 1-0. Darcy claimed all the credit for his prophetic advice.

Merton survived until half time without any serious alarms and at the half time team talk Merton felt the game was there for the taking.

The second half saw Old Owens start fast, determined to reassert themselves against their upstart visitors. With Merton struggling again to get out of their half, chances began to flow for the home team, with the post coming first to the rescue and then a series of last ditch tackles. However, just as Merton seemed to have weathered the storm an equaliser came. Andy helped a clearance on the edge of the area and as more Merton players closed down the shot from the edge of the area a scuffed, sliced effort dribbled through towards Sherbs. Merton fatally relaxed as the spin on the ball took it away from goal and an Owens player benefited from a lucky ricochet as Sherbs just beat him to the loose ball, walking the ball over the line for 1-1. Gutting.

Worse almost followed as Owens hit the crossbar from close range following a cut back from the right, and then Sherbs pulled off a blinding save, tipping a shot at full stretch round the post.

Merton rallied, and with just a few minutes to play they almost snatched the winner. Dan closed down the opposing fullback, and his block found Joe Grew running in on goal twenty yards out with just the onrushing keeper to beat. Said Keeper did well to block Joe’s attempted lob and force the ball wide, but the chance was still alive with 2 Merton plauers screaming for a cross. The cross came in; Darcy got the faintest of touches from his head, forcing Dan to readjust and the ball them fell to Andy who stabbed wide from 12 yards. Merton saw out the rest of the game without alarm and the decision was made to go straight to pens.

It all started so well. Sherbs saved the first penalty of the shootout and very nearly the third. Merton converted penalties 1 to 4, and had their fifth kick to win the tie. Jason stepped up as the rest of the team looked on, only for his penalty to be saved by the keeper to his right. Three more successful penalties followed leaving Dan K having to score to take the shootout to an eight penalty. He did not, blazing over with a poor effort, and that was it.

So a great team effort (everyone played well and worked their socks off) but in the end there was nothing to show for it. We go again next week.

Motm – Cookie (marshalled the defence superby and slotted his pen)

Dotm – Jason edged Dan to the award for the missed pen