MERTON FC 0
South Bank 1
W e lost 1-0. The goal was an absolute bag o’shite, being as it was scored from a corner ballooned up into the air
and poked in during the resultant in-box melee with all the grace of Jason Thomas trying to reach down and touch
his aging toes during warm-up. Talking of JT, he didn’t last the match, winning a 50/50 battle after an hour but
sadly losing the injury war.
Such battles were a feature of a game that took place on a pitch more sticky than Jordan’s y-fronts after a night
with one of his ‘Scouse princesses’. Incidentally, Holder Ross, who was involved in many a midfield ding-dong, has
a new princess of his own who he revealed was acquired in no small part thanks to liquid lubrication provided by
Messrs Quainton and Willgoss on a surprise meeting in Brixton a few weekends ago. AHR formed a midfield three
with Big Dave Scott and the unlikely but happy-to-run choice of the aforementioned Quainton. In truth, the best
player on the pitch was none of the three but, in fact, the opposition’s number 15, who gave them the runaround
most of the day.
Up top JT was flanked by Tom Benham and Dan Kelly, and the attacking trio provided a threat similar to that which
a pint of beer causes Man of the Match Conor Murphy: it looks and should be dangerous but the ease with which
he destroys it renders it somewhat effete. Murphy played with Pearcey, Alex Welch, and Jordan in-front of Sherbs.
None of the back five ever looked in trouble aside from set pieces which a) South Bank were pretty good at and b)
we looked altogether wobbly.
Shots on target? We had maybe two, one a 15-yard shot on the run from DQ saved by the ‘keeper’s legs, and the
second a Cruyffed flick by Benham that resulted in another smartish save. Towards the end of the match when
subs required the formation move back to a 4-4-2 we perhaps looked a little more threatening, but Storm Doris
probably caused more damage in the south east this week.
Not brilliant, then, but it were a lovely day out, and that’s key. The most lovely aspect was watching our usually
calm, considered and upstanding goalie raise his hands towards the goalscorer’s face after he ‘over-celebrated’
(claiming he’d been fouled in the build-up to his goal). Sherbs raised himself to his full 5 feet 3 inches and gave the
shaggy-haired pillock a little palm to the face. A yellow and DotD ensued. It should’ve been a red. Sherbs had a
Predator instead, with none of the swiftness of Conor Murphy, but I’m sure just as much enjoyment.
Merton came into this game looking to cement their promotion credentials, extend their unbeaten home record and move above the visitors into third. And to avenge the undeserved 2-1 defeat earlier in the season, the memory of which still cast a shadow over some players. This did not happen, or ever look like happening. Instead, Merton were, in the end, soundly beaten by a very good St James side. And Merton’s GK was MOTM…which rather says it all. Since this will be a bit depressing to both read and write, look out for the Oasis song lyrics throughout as a means of keeping up interest.
With no Clowesy or Cookie, Joe Grew looked set to partner Pearcey at CB, only for a late call up to the 1s to scupper that plan. Rayner and Wilgo had already been moved to the 1s earlier in the week, giving the reserves squad something of an unfamiliar look this week. Mike Stone (a centre midfielder still battling the label of CB Gresty gave him 18 months ago) moved to CB in a back four of Murphy, Pearcey, Stoney and Welch, with Sherbs jetting in on the morning of the game from Antigua to reclaim goalkeeping duties. Big Dave Scott and (former) lucky charm Alberto started at CM, with DK and Ian Evans out wide. DQ and JT continued their always ever older forward partnership, with Emmanuel and new recruit Adam on the bench. A family full of eccentrics, some might say. Sadly, rumours of a Lofty return proved unfounded, but we hope to see him back soon.
Despite the squad changes, Merton were right up for this game, and conducted a lengthy warm up, in contrast to the visitors, who appeared just a few moments before kick-off. Perhaps they needed more time. Sherbs conducted some classic motivational speaking before the game by urging us to attack the ball from defensive set pieces, because he didn’t like the ball near his face (or something like that), and then it was time to get started. The knowing reader will note that this match report has spent some time describing events before the match, because frankly this is as good as it gets.
So, to the game. The first half hour or so was actually pretty tight and evenly matched. St James were looking better on the ball and spreading the play wide whenever they could, but some stout Merton defending in the wide positions was just about keeping the visitors in check. Offensively, Merton were struggling to string more than a couple of passes together, but there was some joy to be had on the counter attack through early balls forward. DQ had held the ball up for DK to join the attack a couple of times, with a particularly cynical trip stopping one such foray on the edge of the area. A series of throw ins also failed to yield more than this massively contrived sentence about throwing it back to you.
The game was getting pretty physical at this point, as both sides realised that the referee was not inclined to blow his whistle for very much at all. Appeals for pushes, trips, kicks, two-footed tackles, or indeed handballs were met with utter indifference from the referee, and some of us were beginning to suspect that perhaps he had lost his whistle and didn’t want to admit to it. No doubt fully aware of this, Jason Thomas then proceeded to brazenly ignore the offside rule to slip inside the visitors’ defensive line, only for the keeper to make a good double save.
This chance was probably the high-water mark of this particular game for Merton. As the half went on, St James became more and more dominant, with their tricky wide forwards increasingly finding space down the flanks. One such spell of trickery saw a goalmouth scramble, with Pearcey at one point desperately trying to head the ball whilst on the floor (we don’t know why), Sherbs making a couple of reaction blocks, and ended with a St James player sliding in to poke the ball home. The visitors celebrated, only for the referee to astonish everyone and blow his hitherto misplaced whistle for a foul of some unknown description. A lucky escape, but the warning was not heeded, as only a couple of minutes later more or less the same thing happened again with no such referee intervention. 1-0, and rather gut-wrenchingly, the referee blew up for half time immediately afterwards. As no commentator remarked on the sideline, that rather changes the half-time team talk.
Said team talk came and went, but the game continued to drift away from the home team. Adam and Emmanuel had replaced DK and Ian at 30 and 45 minutes respectively, but the change in personnel failed to change the game. The second half saw a brief flurry of Merton pressure, Adam playing in a couple of fantastic set-pieces to no avail, but all too soon the visitors took control again, dominating possession and territory as Merton simply found no easy way out of their box for long spells. With the strikers half a world away from what was resembling a back 8 at times, Sherbs kept the home side in the game with a string of fantastic saves, before blotting his copybook somewhat with a mishit clearance that was promptly smashed back over his head for 2-0.
At this point, Jason decided he had had enough for one day and departed the ground for a better place to play, an overreaction if ever there was one. With time slipping away, DK returned up top, and almost made an immediate impact – running on to a deflected pass after good work by DQ, ghosting past the covering defender and then forcing a good save from the keeper. Alas, a couple of minutes later, the ball then went back up the other end in a flowing move that even super Sherbs couldn’t stop. 3-0. It really was a great goal, but it’s not going to be described in any more detail than that, so feel free to decide for yourself how it was scored. At this point Connor’s ongoing battle (physical and verbal) flared up for the umpteenth time. “What’s the matter with you?” an exasperated opposition player was heard to say. The referee had also decided enough was enough, and proceeded to lecture them like naughty school children for their constant bickering. A finger was even wagged.
Sherbs managed to stop a fourth with a full length dive down low to his right shortly afterwards, garnering applause from the opposition for its sheer brilliance, but it proved only a temporary measure as another late goal was added with just a few minutes to go. I’m sorry but I just don’t know exactly this one was scored either, but it wasn’t as good as the third one.
So, all in all, a bit of a shellacking. Credit to the visitors who played some great football, and on the day were simply a lot better than the home side. For Merton, a time to regroup and go again – with a need for a bit more quality and a lot more intensity next time out. Promotion just got harder, but is by no means impossible with teams taking points off each other at the top of the table. After all, there are better days that have yet to come for this side.
MOTM: Jet-setting Alex Herbert for a string of saves. DOTD: Connor Murphy, whose ongoing feud with the opposition winger saw the referee threaten to send them both to the children’s playground where they belong. I really wish he had, it would have been brilliant. An amateur league version of being sent to the stands.
Team Handsome misses the chance to close the gap at the top!
Merton Reserves will look back at this a missed opportunity to close the gap at the top! Bundles of energy, spirit, effort & good football were on show – all until we managed to go 2 -0 up!
The first half was a pretty tight affair, and it seemed it was always going to take something special (that little moment of magic) to break the deadlock. Step-up captain marvel Graham Willgoss, who is having a cracking season! It was he, who basking in this purple patch of form, felt the audacity to twist and turn a couple of South Bank defenders on the left-hand corner of their box, before looking up and measuring a delightful chip – in off the far post – to send Merton 1 – 0 up. (It definitely was not a cross, no matter what anyone or every player says……I jest…..and to be clear GREAT GOAL….).
Ten minutes into the second half, Emmanuel worked a clever short corner to Connor Murphy, catching them and us by surprise, Connor whipped in a great left footed cross, and big Jase nodded it home. 2-0!!!
Now nobody panic! Oh no wait….! Whether it was a wave of naivety, recklessness, or over confidence it doesn’t matter – within seconds Sherbs was saving a one on one, and from the resulting corner their skipper headed home 2-1.
2 minutes later we are 2-2, another corner (there is a pattern here), and a bundled home equaliser, having failed to clear our lines. It could have got worse, as Sherbs saved another one on one, before we woke up again and had a series of good chances with Tom Benham pretty much creating them with magnificent solo runs, speed and strength – but the ball never quite fell right for the final finish!
With the last kick of the game – South Bank shot wide – when it seemed easier to score.
2-2 in the end a fair result. But having been 2-0 up – it hurts a little!
“Such stuff as dreams are made on,” remarked nobody as we squeezed into the almost-never-used changing room 2 before kick-off. Cookie, ever nervous, newly old, was struggling to find a seat.
“Be not afraid,” Pearcy, didn’t say. “The changing room is full of noises, sweet sounds and airs that give delight and hurt not.”
“I’ve brought the wrong bloody boots,” DQ did say, panicking, knowing ‘Dick of the Day’ was his. Things were not going well.
Still, Pearcy had spare boots, Merton 2s (as opposed to Merton 2’s, who are some weird outfit to which Lofty often refers) had a handsome squad of 14, and the weather was clement. To add to the joy, swathes of Kew’s squad had decided to get some Black Friday weekend shopping done and they’d turned-up with ten players.
We kicked-off, full of vigour, and not a little vim.
“We should break these down, just need to be positive,” said Gresty, hobbled, supporting from the sidelines.
“Pearcy, you clown,” said Ian, capturing the atmosphere as only he can.
In spite of Pearcy’s defensive shank (followed by a overwhelmingly solid performance and a delightful, loopy, deflected own goal), Team Handsome was playing something like well.
“He’s lost that,” said DQ, watching DK Milan Baros his way through the centre of the pitch. In actual fact, DK hadn’t lost it, and dragged the ball apologetically in the corner for 1-0.
2-0 came quicker than Cookie in an Asian disco, DK foxing the defence and lobbing the keeper like the wily old pro he isn’t.
Annoyingly, Kew scored. A free header from a free kick.
“Bugger this,” thought Wilgo, sending a delightful cross over to Big Dave Scott, who made like Les Ferdinand in his better days and headed powerfully home. Later, BDS would score again, almost cracking a smile while doing so. His all-round play earned him ‘man-of-the-match’. So that was nice. The swift, cold pint, less so.
Scott’s second goal came midway into the second half and was one of nine, as the 2s romped very comfortably home. Wilgo scored one that was almost identical (right-hand side of the area, bottom-left corner finish) continuing his Indian summer in the Merton yellow.
Talking of ageing goalscorers, DQ did his best Nwankwo Kanu impression after a sexy Wilgo through-ball, curdling the defender’s blood before finishing probably in the corner he intended. He added a second after robbing the keeper 40 yards out and playing into the empty net. Sadly for Kew, their goalie was one of their two best outfield players.
Who were the other two scorers you ask? Well, not Tom Benham, who did everything but, ending the match more frustrated than Sherbs failing to avoid playing a game of Predator at the Christmas party. Chris Rayner, however, he scored, with his left foot, naturally. And Cookie, dear old Cookie, he did too, barrelling through and toe-poking home.
“I ain’t scored for two years,” Cookie said, hugging their left-back. The left-back didn’t seem to really care.
Mustard cared, Sherman-tanking around during an effervescent midfield cameo, though sadly not enough to get over technological snafus and muster his usual celebratory changing room DJ set. Instead, we all just gave each other high-fives, and handsome pats on the back, and fulsome compliments.
And that was that, our little match, rounded with goals.
When the last of the Merton squad rolled into Ham to face bottom of the league Kew Association last Saturday it was with just thirty minutes to spare (some advice: don’t try to travel to Twickenham by train at noon on a Rugby match day). Upon arrival we were informed that we were a bare eleven with our substitute James Laughton currently playing for the 1s on the adjacent pitch. Safe to say the team picked itself.
Following a somewhat truncated warm-up the game got underway and Merton quickly were in the ascendency. Finding a fair amount of joy down the wings (with Ben Victory in particularly swashbuckling form) the Boars carved out a number of promising attacks in the first twenty minutes while Kew were seemingly happy to sit back and counter when the opportunity arose.
It was surprising therefore that Merton’s first big chance of the game came as a result of their own counter-attack when Dan Kelly was played through on the left-hand side of the area after a lovely build up move. Unfortunately his shot lacked the bend to beat the keeper who made a good save, but the signs for Merton seemed nothing but promising.
Kew rarely threatened, except for at set pieces – most notably the occasion when Alex Herbert in goal was particularly bamboozled by the flight of the ball and flapped somewhat, under pressure from the strikers closing in on him. His appeals that he had been impeded in the air were remarkably tenuous, and they rather entertainingly earned him no joy save the referee advising him to “man up”. Not sure whether that is an official method for dealing with dissent endorsed by the FA…
At the other end the breakthrough should have come just before half-time when a textbook training ground throw-in routine saw Tom Benham spurn a golden chance six feet out with the goal gaping. Unfortunately his volleyed effort soared over the bar and Merton went in at half-time level but with their tails up and a goal seemingly only a matter of time.
As it was they somewhat struggled to get going in the second half, and the game became very scrappy – lots of long balls and headers rather than Merton’s heretofore “keep it on the turf” passing game. In fact, it was a style very much suited to the hosts who visibly grew in confidence the longer the game remained goalless, and as such they started to carve out chances of their own, even hitting the bar twice.
Then after approximately an hour played, Tom Benham was played into the box and rounded the keeper only to be taken out. Never one to be denied a goal-scoring opportunity, Dan Kelly seized the advantage and attempted a shot at the open goal, only to see his effort rattle off the inside of the woodwork. In the post-match debrief in the bar, Dan would insist that the angle made it nigh on impossible, but this reporter still requires convincing. Despite this, the referee called play back and awarded Merton a penalty, much to the chagrin of the opposition who claimed the advantage had been well and truly played (and squandered). Surely now Merton would break the deadlock?
Before we get to that, some caveats: Firstly, the penalty spot was in truly an horrendous state and even to get the ball off the ground in such circumstances should be considered a feat worthy of applause. Secondly, with the cries and recriminations of the opposition ringing in the air it is understandable that a penalty taker could be wholeheartedly put-off. Thirdly, there were not exactly an abundance of volunteers to take the penalty, and responsibility was very much thrust upon the shoulders of yours truly. Despite these factors, I stepped up very confidently and with the skill and accuracy of Owen Farrell (doing the very same thing just a few miles away in Twickenham) sent the ball soaring high over the posts…0-0 it remained (and if we are being honest, justice was probably served…it was a very very very ropey advantage call by the referee).
So the game continued and Merton’s depleted squad soon suffered a few niggles, none more notable than Ben Victory who received a big whack to the knee and had to hobble off to be replaced by an already injured substitute. Ben returned to the fray five minutes later with just under ten minutes to go, visibly limping and saying a quick hail Mary. Whether it was divine intervention or not, as the ball was cleared from a corner it fell to him to start a counter attack. He then set off like a greyhound up field, seemingly free of all pain, and was able to finally bundle the ball past the dumbfounded keeper. Cue wild celebrations. It is unclear whether Ben was crying with joy or agony…
The celebrations were short-lived unfortunately, as with the last action of the game, Kew managed to find a – probably deserved – equaliser and round off a very frustrating game from Merton’s perspective.
Still, we choose to see it as an away point gained, and have the chance to finally put a few past the same opposition this weekend as we host them at the Hood.
Man of the match: Paul Pearce – captain for the day and a veritable rock at the heart of the Merton defence which performed very steadily all game
Dick of the day: Andrew Holder Ross – the fall guy, cruelly and harshly punished for his penalty miss
Merton welcomed leaders HSBC to the Hood and had to settle for a point in a tight, hard fought encounter.
Lining up 433 once again, Merton started brightly with Ryan Gresty in particular breaking up play in the middle and initiating more than one counter attack. Ryan had almost played in both Dan (skied effort) and Tom (tackled) inside the first 10 minutes, clearly smarting at not being mentioned 8 times in last weeks match report. A man on a mission and a man in motion but unfortunately this (st elmo’s) fire led Ryan into a bone crunching tackle on the edge of the opposition box and a trip to hospital (via touchline, bar, and an earlsfield night club for initial tests – no break thankfully).
With Ryan off, Dave Scott came into central midfield as Merton continued to look for an opener in a tight game. A succession of set pieces failed to yield a clear chance; Browner’s panic-inducing nod-back from beyond the far post almost but not quite yielding a chance.
Then a good move down the left involving the excellent Alex Welch, Andy, Lofty and Rayner (with Ryan shouting approvingly from the sidelines) saw Lofty put a tempting cross in. Dan read the flight, ghosted between the two centre backs, jumped, met it with his forehead as the cross just cleared the head of the covering defender…and headed over. 2 DOTD votes ensued.
Tom was the next to have a chance, played in on the angle and striking a shot on the run from the edge of the area that the keeper beat away.
At the other end, a well organised Merton defence had restricted the visitors to only set pieces and the occasional scare on the counter, with Rayner doubling up as forward and wingback on occasion to deal with the dangerous oppo wide player and forward who were their main out ball.
0-0 at half time and Lofty urged us to push for the win, noting that this was unlikely to be a game with more than one goal. Ryan (just about still standing) agreed and urged Merton to get after them.
The second half was as tight and scrappy as the first. The best chance came early, and it fell to the visitors. Peter Brown missed a header for the first time in the game, and as the rest of the side gaped in disbelief, quick work from HSBC saw the ball squared for the oppo striker to sidefoot home from 10 yards. Sherbs, however, had other ideas and flung himself to his right, a strong hand keeping the ball out. The danger wasn’t over yet as the ball fell invitingly for HSBC, only for Cookie to bravely block the goal bound shot and then Browner to complete the clearance. A massive moment in the game.
At the other end, Merton were still probing away looking to get Tom in behind. Some nice interplay down the right between Alex King, Dave and Andy saw the ball squared for Tom to hit from the edge of the area, only for the shot to be blocked. Next, Dan screamed down the left wing and into the box, only for his cut back to be cleared.
DQ and Mike Stone came on to try and provide the moment of inspiration needed to win the game. Max in particular was convinced DQ would deliver, pronouncing it his time as Merton won a late series of free kicks. Alex King was also finding space down the right; initally to fire in a series of crosses that didn’t beat the first man, but then with increasing effect and culminating in a burst in the box and a dangerous centre that was hacked clear.
In the event, it was at the other end that the final piece of drama played out. A rare HSBC attack saw both Alex and then Cookie drawn out of position and beaten. As the attacker surged towards the box a recovering Cookie slid full length and made the tactical decision to end the attack taking man ball and half the pitch with him. HSBC were a little upset and demanded a red, but with covering players in the vicinity and the fact that Cookie tackled pitch man and ball in that order, a yellow was about right. Cookie took the booking very professionally and all seemed well until a HSBC player said something and Cookie crumbled, unleashing the west country rage and confronting said player.
Foreheads bumped. Oppo subs ran onto the pitch. Sherbs enquiry of “what do you think you’re doing?” (or similar) was met with a response that they thought someone was going to be punched. Maybe they were planning a dive in front of any punch like a secret service bodyguard, who knows.. It should also be pointed out that the hitherforeto unmentioned (in the second half) Ryan Gresty did not hobble on to the pitch to get involved. Professional.
In all event people were dragged away, it all calmed down and Cookie escaped a red. And then the free kick went wide. Escape complete.
Merton’s late rally failed to yield a clear chance and the game ended 0-0. Probably about fair in a tight game with few chances.
Motm: Alex Welch convincingly edged Alex King, with Alex Herbert also picking a vote.
This is not a misprint. After a frustrating few weeks with not a point to show for it, Merton finally got the result they had been threatening with a hard-fought but ultimately thumping victory against Old Blues. And, more importantly, set the record for the most Alex’s in a team.
With a surfeit of attacking options available for the first time in a few weeks, Merton reverted to a 4-3-3 formation designed to get the best out of the Merton 14. James and Alex G lined up either side of Dan upfront, with a returning Andy Ross joining Ryan and player-manager extraordinaire Lofty in the middle of the park. At the back Pearcey moved back to centre back after two games playing much further forward, reunited with Cookie at centre back with Alex and Clowsey at fullback in a strong Merton XI. Lucky charm Alberto (1 appearance, 1 win this season) was on the bench with some borrowed shinpads, alongside Alex Welch (returning from injury) and Tom Benham (who made an ultra-middle class return as he sauntered late into the changing room with a cup of coffee).
Lofty had emphasised the importance of getting on the front foot, pressing high up the pitch and forcing the tempo, but perhaps a little exhausted by the triple-combination of the Gresty 5k run warm up, the referee showing up 15 minutes late, and a Clowsey sprint drill just before kick-off to keep us “sharp”, instead Merton found themselves behind early-doors. Alex G blocked an Old Blues cross from close range with the ball hitting his hand from all of 18 inches and the referee awarded a free kick for handball. Harsh, but to be fair the ref continued to apply this interpretation throughout the game so can’t argue with the consistency. From the resulting free kick, the ball escaped everyone and ended up drifting into the far corner. 0-1, and not the start Merton were looking for.
The goal at least did seem to stir Merton into life, and with the front three all threatening to get in behind and the midfield trio starting to dominate, Merton began to threaten. From their first corner Lofty whipped in a beautiful delivery that Dan of all people headed in (with his forehead, no less!), but the celebrations were cut short as the referee decided someone had pushed the keeper elsewhere in the box. A second harsh decision had Merton feeling rather disgruntled, but Merton continued to push for an equaliser and were rewarded on the half hour mark.
After a scrappy passage of play in the middle of the pitch, a lofted through ball down the middle saw Dan turn his marker and race on to the ball. The keeper (clearly a centre back as he spent all game way off his line and kicking/passing at every opportunity) had a rush of blood to the head and went for the interception a full 35 yards from goal. Dan displayed rather uncharacteristic composure to keep the ball away from the keeper, twist and turn the covering defender and then curl the ball past him into the now empty net. Said composure was then somewhat rattled as the ball curled back only slightly, clipped the inside of the post, ran across the line, hit the other post….and then finally rolled into the bottom corner. Phew. The record books shall nevertheless show a 30 yard finish into the bottom corner. Both of them. 1-1.
Having equalised, Merton were not stopping there and continued to press. James Laughton had his man on toast for much of the half and was proving a fantastic out-ball, his pace and trickery more than compensating for him giving away a few inches (and stone) vs his opposite number. One foray saw James free down the right only for his shot to fizz just high and wide of the upright, although perhaps the cross might have been the better choice in this instance! However, this was quickly forgotten as James won a free kick just inside the opposition half and from this Merton took the lead. The free kick was only half cleared as Dan made a nuisance of himself, James whipped the ball back in, and Alex G showed great awareness to knock the ball down for Lofty to hit on the volley just inside the area. The strike was clean, and despite a small deflection the ball was always goal-bound. 2-1 and a great goal.
Into the second half, and with no changes yet, Merton looked for a third goal to try and kill the game. It almost came immediately, as a beautifully shaped through ball from Lofty saw Dan latch on to it and sprint clear of the covering defender. This time the finish wasn’t quite there, the keeper scrambling clear after an initial half stop. At this point, Old Blues were coming into the game more, and starting to threaten, and Merton were struggling to keep the ball. Sensing the time for fresh blood from the bench, Lofty rang the changes. Tom replaced Dan, and Alberto came on for Lofty as the game entered a nervy period. Old Blues were in the ascendancy but resolute defending from Merton meant no clear chance was offered up, with Cookie also throwing in a few trademark runs coming out with the ball, and the midfield making challenges when needed. Then, on the counter, a third goal. Andy got his head up to feed James in the channel, and as the ever eager keeper raced to try and intercept James coolly flicked the ball over and past him into the corner. 3-1. Three quickly became four, when Tom received the ball with his back to goal just inside the box, and then in the blink of an eye span and smashed the ball past the stunned keeper before anyone could react. Great to see Tom back and in the goals.
At this point Old Blues continued to go for it with nothing to lose, threatening most down their right. Alex Welch came on at left back and immediately looked right at home, calmly defusing more than one attack. Dan returned to replace the injured Pearcey (solid throughout) as Merton saw out the game without too many alarms. Apologies for the lack of Sherbs, and the back 4 in general in this report; it just shows how solidly unspectacular they were – and that is a compliment!
Next up, league leaders HSBC, and Merton go into the game in fine fettle after this convincing win.
MOTM: James Laughton, a constant and classy menace down the right
DOTM: The thieving bas***ds who it turned out who robbed some of the team when we returned to the changing room. Talk about taking the shine off….
Weirside pulled off a robbery right under the noses of the Met Police (FC) to snare all 3 points at Imber Court. This was an emotional day for Merton, sporting black armbands and holding a minute’s silence to mark the tragic passing of fellow boar Nick Papanastasiou last week. Merton started the game in Nick-esque fashion, with high energy and intensity, and might have had their first penalty a couple of minutes in when Dan skinned his man and was clipped on the line as he cut into the box. The game ground to a halt as everyone turned to the referee for his decision. Was it a pen or a free kick….? Neither, apparently, and the game went on. More bemusement followed as Merton’s back 4 stepped up and confidently called offsite. No whistle…. and what seemed like half an hour later the ball was walked into our net with Big Jase setting off in hot pursuit of the ref which may have contributed to him twanging his groin 10 mins into the 2nd half.
Weirside’s next real chance (of 3 in the match) wouldn’t come until the last 5 minutes of the game. In the interin, almost everybody in yellow tried and failed to notch. First, Joe Grew flicked a header against the angle of post and bar. Then Pearcey was clipped in the box and went down quicker than an AC/DC groupie. Free kick awarded for diving. Then a Weirside defender blocked a cross/shot in the box with his hands raised above his head like an umpire signalling a six. No pen, despite a free-kick being awarded for the same thing in midfield 10 minutes later. As a sort of interlude from the succession of missed chances, Stoney put in a good old fashioned chopper on his opposite number, who moaned about it for the next 15 minutes to anyone within earshot. Sadly that didn’t include the perpetrator as Mike had crocked himself and limped off straight after. Gresty followed a couple of classic amateur football moments (treading on the ball in the centre circle and shanking a cross out of play from the corner of the 6-yard box) by somehow managing to kick the ball over the bar whilst laying on the goal line. Then his header in midfield put Dan clear through on goal, but the keeper saved bravely to send Merton into the break a goal down.
Merton pushed forward in the second half, finding joy from Cookie and Alex Goodwin pinging balls in behind the full backs. Pearcey was inches away from connecting with Dan’s cross from the right and then he headed wide from 6 yards on the end of Rayner’s. More good work down the right saw Dan stab a shot agonisingly between the post and Gresty. Lots of chances, but it much work for the keeper. That changed when Jordan rose like his Liverpool idol John Barnes (the player; not the awful pundit/channel 5 football presenter) but his header from the edge of the box was brilliantly tipped onto the bar. Cometh the hour mark, cometh DQ from the bench, making his Merton return after a succession of injuries/sexual harassment claims. And it’s fair to say he looked a little rusty with his first effort, blazing high over the treeline from 10 yards out. He got much closer with his second though, a header nodded down at the back post, bouncing back off the upright and being scrambled away. Next up was Lofty, unleashing a fizzing piledriver which infuriatingly swerved back in towards the keeper and into his midriff. Weirside did have the odd foray into Merton territory, mostly mopped up by Stoney and Cookie at CB and the Alexes at full back. When they did carve out the chance to put the game to bed, Sherbs pulled off a wonder save, leaping at full stretch to palm the ball round the post. Merton’s final chance came when Cookie surged forward and was scythed down on the edge of the box. Up stepped Alex G who bent a sumptuous free kick up and over the wall…. and inches wide of the near post. With that, the final whistle blew and the game was lost. The failure to score continued deep into Saturday night, but that is another story.
So a frustrating result and a game Merton really should have got something from. But to be honest it pales into insignificance in the context of this week.
Team: Sherbs, Alex King, Ben Cook, Big Jase, Alex Goodwin, Mike Stone, Gresty, Joe Grew, Rayner, Pearcey, Dan Kelly. Subs: Lofty, Jordan, DQ
MOM: Alex Goodwin who just pipped Alex King, hitherto unmentioned in this match report because there were so many misses to get through.
Following two very unfortunate and undeserved cup defeats in three weeks, Merton went into yet another cup game on Saturday against Nottingham University Oilers. Despite knowing the quality of the opposition, the Boars approached the match in good spirits, eager to take their last chance at acup run this season.
Unfortunately they never really got going, and found themselves 1-0 down within minutes of the kick-off following quick, intricate build up play from the opposition. It was a pace of play that, in truth, Merton struggled to keep up with for most of the first half, and although at times looking like they might grab a foothold in the game, ended up 3-0 down at the break with few arguments offered.
That being said, it is a testament to the spirit and burgeoning togetherness of the group that words at half time were calm rather than angry and encouraging instead of critical. An improved early second half performance saw, after conceding a fourth goal, Merton get one back as Ben Cook – who shrugged off a back injury to play a good spell in midfield – lofted a lovely ball over the top of the defence that Wilgo put away with aplomb. A birthday goal for the Merton captain.
A reshuffle of the team due to injury then saw the Boars rather lose their shape for the remainder of the game, and caution was well and truly thrown to the wind. Three more goals were conceded before Glenn pulled another back with a wonderfully creative / incredibly lucky (depending on who you ask) cross-come-shot that was planted in the top corner. Further chances to add some respectability to the score-line were spurned after yours truly missed a difficult header from a great Wilgo cross and then five minutes later somehow failed to score from six yards out as the ball was fired across from the right wing. Was I still feeling the effects of having been hit in the bollocks following what can only be described as a valiant, self-sacrificing and brave block in the first half? Who can definitively say? Me, and yes I was.
So, a disappointing result overall against a team that simply outclassed us on the day. Nonetheless, we left with spirits in decent fettle and with determination to kick-start our league campaign next week. Onwards and upwards
Man of the Match: Glenn, who’s goal was considered “genius” by enough people to win him the honour
Dick of the day: Me, mostly for the miss, partly for getting hit in the bollocks
A late (handball-assisted) goal deep in extra time handed Merton their second cruel cup defeat in 3 weeks.
Lining up in a 433, Merton were determined to try and play high up the pitch and press the opposition. This approach yielded some early dividends as Merton won the ball in the opposition half and Darcy set Dan running into the box. A last ditch tackle from a covering defender relieved the danger at the cost of a corner, although the South Bank keeper ended up being clattered by Dan and needed some treatment.
However, on a big pitch and against an opposition side showing plenty of commitment to passing their way out from the back to a pair of tricky wingers, the pressing game proved more easily said than done as the half progressed as South Bank consistently fed the ball wide and tried to overload the Merton fullbacks Connor and Gabs.
This approach brought the reward of the opening goal – albeit with the aid of a somewhat controversial decision. South Bank worked the ball down the right wing, bypassing first Rayner and Connor by taking the ball off the pitch and then beating the covering Pearcey. Ignoring the appeals for a throw in the winger picked out his player in a mostly empty box (with half the defence bypassed on the touchline) and their striker provided a classy finish, angling a header into the far corner from 7 or 8 yards. 1-0.
Rather than spur Merton into action, the goal instead served to bring the visitors more confidence and it was South Bank that began to dominate territory and force Merton back. It was almost two from another cross, but keeper Dan did brilliantly to palm a header on to the frame of the goal. Lofty then made a change to bring on Elz for Gabs, with the ever versatile Joe Grew moving to rb from a wide forward position.
As South Bank tried to force a second, Merton responded with a brilliantly worked goal of their own on the counter. A South Bank cross was cleared and fed into Dan just inside his own half. Dan laid it back to Joe, before taking the return pass and bamboozling (think 60% skill/40% spawn) his marker with some quick reactions and playing the ball inside to Andy. The ball was quickly worked across the pitch and Rayner arrived on the overlap from the opposite wing, striding into the box to slot inside the keeper. A lovely calm finish to cap a great team goal. 1-1.
Merton had a couple of half chances to take the lead as the game became more even – most notably a brilliant improvised volley from Darcy on the edge of the box that clipped the bar. However, it was the visitors who restored their lead just before half time. Another counter and cross saw cookie manage only to head clear to the edge of the box, and the attacking midfielder had time and space to pass cooly into the corner. 2-1.
The second half was a less open affair as Merton tightened up and the visitors perhaps sat a little on their lead. Despite some great trickery from elz on occasion down the left, in truth not much happened until the closing quarter of the game as Merton slowly but surely upped the intensity and forced south bank deeper and deeper. A series of free kicks and corners saw a few scrambled clearances and some potshots from distance. Lofty made the call to go to 442 with Pearcey joining Dan up top as Merton piled on the pressure.
Then, with just 5 minutes remaining, the breakthrough came. Elz and Dan chased a clearance down and pressurised the nervy oppo defence. Elz blocked the initial attempt at a clearance and Dan the next, and a calamitous collision saw Elz emerge with the ball on the edge of the box and feed in Rayner. Once again he slipped the ball near post on the angle, megging the keeper to boot. 2-2, and with 5 minutes to go Merton believed they could go on and win it.
With only one team now in the game, South Bank fended off a string of attacks, most notably gabs having a long distance and goal bound strike blocked. Extra time ensued and the next 15 minutes were more of the same as Merton camped in the opposition half.
A series of corners were desperately close to being turned in. Then more good work in midfield saw Pearcey played in; his cut back agonisingly close to being turned in by Dan at the far post. By this point Merton players were down all over the pitch with cramp/injuries/general exhaustion and as the second 15 began, the home side were starting to flag a little.
South Bank forced a couple of corners as penalties loomed, and with 3 minutes to go a goal line scramble saw Connor clear off the line, only for an oppo player to palm the ball back into the danger area for a team mate to prod home. Merton were livid (well, those of them who saw the handball) but the ref gave it having not seen the offence. 3-2.
Merton gave it one last push for a third equaliser; forcing a corner with seconds to go, but it was not to be and a second cup exit in 3 weeks was the result.
Motm – Rayner for two well taken goals
Dotm – Gabs for a couple of ambitious/suicidal dribbles in his own box deep in extra time at 2-2!
