Year: 2016

MERTON FC  2

SOUTH BANK CUACO  0

Fresh off of the back of this season’s first win, the Sixes welcomed South Bank back down to the Hood for the early kick-off. A little too early for some, with Paul turning up just moments before the start, keeping traditions alive and well. John would be so proud.

There were some enforced changes to last week’s winning team, with Chris unavailable and Swanny having that back of 90 year old. In came Anan hungry for minutes on the pitch, and Kieran, thirsty for… well we all know what Kieran is thirsty for.

After the usual drill sergeant like levels of motivation from the gaffer, and finer tactical pointers (“Give the ball to the young lads”, “Kieran, if you’re seeing three balls just stop the middle one”), we were ready for blood.

The first half was a tight affair, with both teams playing some decent football, but neither team making the breakthrough. Merton did get some luck though with South Bank losing a player to injury, and thus having no subs for the rest of the game. No we had to take advantage to of this and test the tiring South Bank legs.

At this point it should be noted that the defence were particularly playing a blinder, holding a compact, but high defensive line, and winning first balls left, right and centre. South Bank’s dangerous forward line were getting frustrated. George was having the best game of is Merton career.

The only real trouble to speak of was a couple of misunderstandings between the back four and the stand in keeper. The defence left, what they thought were, a couple of easy balls for the keeper. But with Kieran on the look out in case any WADA testers turned up, he was slow off of his line.

Luckily we made it to half time without any disasters. 0-0.

Fresh legs were needed up top, so on came Paul and Scott. The less said about Ram’s brief, but brave, cameo the better.

The pressure was all Merton. Corners, free kicks and long throws were all flung into the box, but still no break through.

Finally the break through came. Paul made a strong run into the box and was sent tumbling to the ground by the keeper. Blatant penalty surely?! All eyes went straight to the referee, who remained impassive. In the confusion Scott found the ball at his feet and found the back of the net. 1-0 Merton.

Merton continued to have the best of the play and soon enough all eyes were again on the referee, demanding another penalty. Scott found himself in a position to shoot and tried his best to bend the ball into the top corner. His best wasn’t all that good. The ball was flying miles wide, but for some unknown reason a South Bank defender threw a hand at the ball. This time even the ref couldn’t deny it.

Now the arguments begin. Who will take it? The usual suspects are all interested. Pete. How many did you miss last season? Ty. Not the way you’ve been taking free kicks today. Kev. No chance gaffer. So up stepped Scott, in the midst of fine goal scoring run. He did his best to miss it, he really did. He hit it straight at the keeper. But he fumbled the ball, and bang, 2-0.

All Merton had to do was see out the remaining minutes of the game, and do nothing stupid.

South Bank had nothing left to give and their frustrated forwards had no answer to Merton’s experienced and robust defence.

It ended 2-0. A second straight win and the Sixes find themselves 3^rd in the league. Bring on next week and Alleyn Old Boys down at the Hood.

TEAM: Kieran, Kev, Chappell, Beanz, George, Adam, Anan, Ty, Callum, Trey, Pete.

SUBS: Scott, Ram, Paul.

MAN OF THE MATCH: Unanimous this week. Nothing and no one got past George at right back this week.

DICK OF THE DAY: It could’ve been Ram for his brave effort whilst playing ill (hungover). It could’ve been Paul for his phenomenal time-keeping. But this week Adam was literally Dick of the Day. A dick so popular that even one of the opposition players had to have a feel.

[Show slideshow]

Today’s Results.
A day of mourning the Loss of Nick P, his 3s and all our teams paid tribute to him at the start of their games. We were pleased to welcome Chris and Nicks’ friends on this sad day. The 1s drew 0-0 with HSBC in an unpleasant encounter. The 2s lost 1-0 away at Weirside. The 6s won 2-0 against South Bank in an early Kick off. Scott Shew scoring both goals in a good win. The 3s unfortunately lost 3-1. The 4s pulled off an impressive 5-0 win, and the 5s got back to winning ways with a 2-0 win.

After the disappointment of last week’s away defeat, we were keen to change said fortunes around. Back to the fortress Hood. Both Sam and Jonny on time, a good omen right? Even before starting the warm up, news of an Injury on the far pitch meant a 15 minute delay to the start of the game. Thus a chance for us to go through Clappers dynamic warm up. Why so many squats? Why do the lines cross? No wonder I shout at him.

Personally, from last week’s performance, the main reason we came away empty handed, aside from Woody/De Bruyne/Aguero and pals penalty antics was the lack of bite all over the pitch. We welcomed back Sam, Tilley and Nick in the midfield which was a needed boost.

The emphasis was to start quickly and make sure we competed physically. However the first 15 minutes belonged fully to EBOG. They passed the ball very quickly and were direct in their play. Their number 10 made some incisive runs, but just couldn’t finish. Siri with a couple of blocks one on one.  I think the general consensus was that it would only be a matter of time before they scored as we could not get a foot hold in the game. However this eased as we started to play the ball around more. Both Jonny and Milo found success against their opponents and Charlie had the beating of his man every time. Charlie had a glimpse of goal in the first half and was probably unlucky not to hit the target when he had a little more time. Chaz scoring from a free header from 5 yards out would have been the icing on the cake, however as against IBIS, he has a tendency to head wide.

While the first 15 belonged to EBOG, the rest of the first half definitely belonged to us. They started to give away needless fouls and get on the referees back which only worked in our favour. Come half time, the message was to go again. Keep up the same intensity. Shout out to Nick for being a calming influence on the side line for Harrison.

Again we started the second half brightly, the three up top all providing great out balls. However we started to fade from around 55 minutes in and EBOG came back into the game. Again their number 10 had the beating of our back four, but couldn’t put countless chances away. (See Ballotelli vs Manchester United 2014). The game became very open and we started to create clearer cut chances. Chaz picking up the ball from a throw at right back forced his way to the right wing, laid the ball off to Jonny and made the run into the box, Jonny found him with an inch perfect ball and from 5 yards out he ballooned over. Typical Chaz. EBOG created a couple more chances, but were dealt with by Siri/the back four.

The last 15 minutes were all about Merton. Again from another corner Chaz staying up top, chested the ball down and re-enacted Frank Sinclair vs Barnsley, only to be denied by the bar. The chances were coming thick and fast, Jonny again ghosted past their right back and with three lining up on the penalty spot, tried to beat the keeper at the near post. James also impressed in his cameo as he often does. He was unlucky not to curl past the keeper with the last kick of the game.

Overall a good point earned, as both teams could have won the game, but a feeling that we probably had done enough to nick it. Every player put in a shift against the best opposition so far this season. Very much an improved display from the week before. Many positives to take forward. Man of the match was Chaz. Very well deserved as he has put in a number of strong performances recently. DOTD was a difficult one at first as there were no real mistakes/errors. Missing two chances from 5 yards out is cardinal sin though, so Chaz has the fortune of also being DOTD.

Team : Siri (GK), Kearnsey, Chaz, Clappers, Browner, Sam, Tills, Woody, Milo, Charlie, Jonny

Subs : James Laughton, Nick

Merton 2-7 Nottingham University Oilers

Following two very unfortunate and undeserved cup defeats in three weeks, Merton went into yet another cup game on Saturday against Nottingham University Oilers. Despite knowing the quality of the opposition, the Boars approached the match in good spirits, eager to take their last chance at a  cup run this season.

Unfortunately they never really got going, and found themselves 1-0 down within minutes of the kick-off following quick, intricate build up play from the opposition. It was a pace of play that, in truth, Merton struggled to keep up with for most of the first half, and although at times looking like they might grab a foothold in the game, ended up 3-0 down at the break with few arguments offered.

That being said, it is a testament to the spirit and burgeoning togetherness of the group that words at half time were calm rather than angry and encouraging instead of critical. An improved early second half performance saw, after conceding a fourth goal, Merton get one back as Ben Cook – who shrugged off a back injury to play a good spell in midfield – lofted a lovely ball over the top of the defence that Wilgo put away with aplomb. A birthday goal for the Merton captain.

A reshuffle of the team due to injury then saw the Boars rather lose their shape for the remainder of the game, and caution was well and truly thrown to the wind. Three more goals were conceded before Glenn pulled another back with a wonderfully creative / incredibly lucky (depending on who you ask) cross-come-shot that was planted in the top corner. Further chances to add some respectability to the score-line were spurned after yours truly missed a difficult header from a great Wilgo cross and then five minutes later somehow failed to score from six yards out as the ball was fired across from the right wing. Was I still feeling the effects of having been hit in the bollocks following what can only be described as a valiant, self-sacrificing and brave block in the first half? Who can definitively say? Me, and yes I was.

So, a disappointing result overall against a team that simply outclassed us on the day. Nonetheless, we left with spirits in decent fettle and with determination to kick-start our league campaign next week. Onwards and upwards

Man of the Match: Glenn, who’s goal was considered “genius” by enough people to win him the honour

Dick of the day: Me, mostly for the miss, partly for getting hit in the bollocks

22 October 2016
Report by Martin Quinlan

Merton 7XI v Crouch End Vampire 6th Score 5 – 1

So, a new beginning for Merton with a 7th XI for the 3rd time since 1978-1979, and for those like me, who played in the 1978/79 team! As it happens it was against Crouch End Vampires (CEV).

The team generally turned up on time and it was just a case of working out who played in each position in the classic 4-4-2. One advantage Dan was A providing a goalkeeper, Jon, and the rest of the team seemed to sort itself out through until just before kick-off when we had to do a quick reshuffle.

My preparation was also hampered by trying to find a complete/clean yellow kit, but we ended up starting our new beginnings in Blue.

Once the game started, we soon settled as a team and played some good football with a strong central midfield pair of David and Andrew and two youngsters Billy and Emmanuel the wing. The defence was solid: Femi, Dan, Tom and Martin, which meant Jon in goal had little to do, and Malcolm and Scott up front. We created several chances before finally breaking the deadlock after about 20 minutes with a good move finished by Emmanuel. For the rest of the half we were on top, even making 2 subs. We scored 2 further goals: a header from David G, and a shot from Scott.

At half time we made further changes which initially set us back a bit as we took time to settle again and Crouch End Vampires did find their feet a bit. Once we did settle we did play well again and scored again with a goal – Billy off Malcolm; a father and son scoring in the same match.

We were then forced into changes after a clash of heads between Dave G and a CEV player; both having to go off. Since CEV only had 11 players we loaned them Emmanuel for a few minutes. Scott scored a cracking second goal or was it a cross? However I wasn’t watching as I was considering further changes. CEV did get a consolation goal.

In general it was a good team performance although there are things to work upon, as we did get overrun a bit in midfield at times, however CEV did play a very attacking formation.

Many thanks to Ed Plaistow and Mike Todt for refereeing, however you are better as players! Big up to Emmanuel for helping CEV briefly; in fact he played for 3 teams on the day, none in yellow, and also to CEV for coming down from North London and staying for a few drinks.

If we are added to the league the opposition will be tougher in most cases and we will even get to play our 6s for second time in just over eleven years. However, Saturday represented a great start, and a perfect launchpad for this new-look team.

Team: Jon T., Femi S., Tom R, Dan A., Martin Q., Emanuel, David G., Andrew D., Billy G., Malcolm K., Scott S.
Subs: Dusan B., Tiago C.

Goals: Scott 2, Emanuel, David & Billy
Miss of the day Dave with sore head

We didn’t do MOM & DOD this week but will in further weeks.

For those of you who regularly visit the flying fives’ reports to read about how much we’ve won by in the following week, look away now.
It had been 2 weeks since we had played as Polytechnic 9s unhelpfully called off last week. We played today like we had taken the two weeks off and gone to Ibiza, pulling an all-nighter before finally returning back to our home of Merton with puke down our shirt, blinded by the sunlight and still trying to find our friend named “Doug”. It was a performance that was reminiscent of last year, and one that we must be focused on reversing in the next game.
Their first goal saw the oppo player run onto a bouncing ball from just outside the 18 yard box. With Lenners committed, the player lobbed him from the left hand side to make it 1-0 after approximately 25 – 30 mins. Shortly after, they capitalised on a bit of luck. An attempted through ball hit our player and rebounded kindly to their player, who hit a lovely strike from 25 yards out that he won’t do again anytime soon. The third was also a happy blend of catastrophic & unlucky. A slide tackle to block the cross rebounded off our defender, hit their player and fell kindly in the box. A good cross ended up at the feet of their striker, who scuffed what should have been an easy tap in. As the ball painfully slowly approached the line, Steve Birchall got to the ball and went to clear. Unfortunately, the clearance hit Lenners on the back of the head and went in for Lenners’s second own goal of the season. Despite the luck attributed to goals 2 and 3, they deserved the 3-0 lead at half time.
The second half started a little better, with Merton calving out our first half chances of the day. The game was marred, however, by an incredibly unfortunate, serious looking injury afflicted to Tom who was having a very good game at an unfamiliar left back position at the time. We all wish him a speedy recovery, and he will be missed whilst away. The game petered out without much incident after, with both teams creating half chances, however the game ended 3 – 0.
In writing this report, I have realised how refreshing it is to be bitterly disappointed by a defeat where last season it almost felt like an expectation. We have performed incredibly well as a team throughout this season and next week provides us as a shot at retribution against a Poly 8s side that will prove to be tough opposition.

Merton FC Vs Old Coulsdon Colts Blazers
This was a league match at home. It was a hard match. They had quite a few players who were very good. We did not play that great in the first half as we did not communicate with each other. We all played a lot better in the second half we pressured and got more stuck in but we did not get tight enough to there players. The score was 2-2.The goal scorers were Keiron and Daniel. Keiron scored an open goal going past the keeper.Daniel scored a goal by a free kick cross by Theo then which lead to a half volley in the six yard box. One of there goals were from a free kick that should of been a foul because they were blocking the keepers sight. There second goal was from a goal kick which went through the midfield and then past the defence then it was a one on one with the keeper and

slots it away. Man Of The Match was Theo are CAM.
Match report by Milo (keeper).