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Merton FC Cricket Club 2016 Season Review

By Ryan Gresty

Do not adjust your computer/mobile device/scrap of paper you are reading this on… Merton has a cricket team! The latest incarnation of summer sporting excellence saw MFCCC turn out for 4 evening T20s over the course of summer 2016, winning 3 and losing 1. The green shoots of a cricket team were sewn in the Hood bar, where talk of certain members pissing off to South Africa during the football season to watch England crush the hosts spurned numerous claims of “I used to play a bit of cricket/I fancy a go/I have nothing better to do with myself once the football season is over” and suddenly we had a cricket squad. Here is the season review:

Merton FCCC (83-1) bt TOTIE (82) by 9 wickets

The first lambs up for the slaughter were TOTIE, one of Ryan’s other teams. Starting with 10 while Lofty was doing his best tramp impression – wandering around Hampstead Heath with a bag of tinnies in hand, Merton bowled first and skittled the oppo for just 82. Nick Papanastasiou backed up his big talk of bowling prowess throughout the winter with a commanding spell of new ball bowling (1-20), but most memorable were his fielding antics. In the very first over a straight one was hit back at him at a nice catching height which he shelled upwards over his head. The non-striker looked on in disbelief as the ball bounced and rolled into the stumps and he was run out without facing. That was followed by a very tidy catch at slip, before dropping an absolute dolly on the fence shortly after.

Lofty finally joined the party and chucked a few medium pacers down which were hard to get away, but not as hard as Clappers’ super-stodgy pies delivered like bouncing bombs which died in the soft pitch and were impossible to get off the square. Panic set in and wild swings saw wickets tumble, particularly at the hands of ringer Dave who returned incredible figures of 4 wickets for no runs off 8 deliveries as TOTIE were all out for 82.

So a friendly total for the MFCCC boys to chase. Step forward everyone’s favourite South African, Mike “BIG MIKE” Todt, who launched a series of humungous sixes onto the roof of the school next door and into the park, sending bystanders scattering to all parts. Once Mike and fellow opener (ringer) Tom had each retired on 25*, Welchy steered the team home with a series of comical 1s, 2s and even a 3 which left his somewhat rotund batting partner calling for the pitch-side oxygen tank.

Merton FCCC (163-9) bt TOTIE (112) by 51 runs

Next up were Wimbledon United CC, Sherbs & Browner’s Sunday team (images from the game enclosed). The 5.45 start time came and went with just 3 Mertonites present so the toss was manufactured and Merton were graciously invited to bat first. Gratitude came by way of a sensational display of destructive batting, starting with Clappers, after a couple of boring sighters, launching a pair of sixes onto the road beyond long on with his twig of a bat. BIG MIKE managed to hole out to the only fielder on the off side, but Tyson, Rat, Clappers (returning having retired on 25*) and Sherbs kept the run rate up around the “carnage” mark. The runrate-ometer had no scale for what followed: Tom Rowe launching the ball to all corners and notching his 25* off just 8 balls, 50% of which were maximums.

163 was always going to be a challenge to chase down, and Browner showed no mercy by demolishing the opener’s stumps in his first over. Ty picked up the 2^nd and Clappers managed to get one of his bombs to actually bounce rather than roll along the dirt, but Bronwer’s butter fingers gave the batsman a reprieve. Skipper Ryan was involved in an innings-long battle with Sherbs over field placings, arguing that putting every man back on the rope was a tad unnecessary with all these runs on the board. So Sherbs was hauled out of the attack by way of punishment and replaced with the unknown quantity of Welchy, who claimed he’d never bowled before. His first ball landed perfectly on Glenn McGrath’s dime, and his second took a wicket sparking scenes of unbridled joy, laps of honour, ticker tape parades etc etc. All 10 outfielders got a bowl as the skipper shuffled his pack, Rat the pick of the bunch swinging the ball nicely to bamboozle the tail-enders. Less successful with the cherry was batting hero Tom Rowe, but he produced a champagne moment in the field, pouching a worldly at mid-on diving full stretch to his left and even earning a honk of approval from a passing motorist who really should have been looking where we was going. WUCC in the end put on a creditable 112 but there was never any danger to the Merton Men.

Merton FCCC (131-8) bt LU Engineering Dept (73) by 58 runs

Only 3 Mertonites turned out for this one, aided by a host of ringers, but the scoresheet shows a Merton FCCC victory so we will claim it. Put in to bat, ringers #1 and #2 got the innings off to a strong start before a tardy BIG MIKE strode out to the middle, played a couple of blocks and then opened those square shoulders and hooned another few sixes into the trees and the beleaguered school roof on his way to his second 25* in 3 knocks. Ringers #3 and #4 slapped a few more boundaries until one was run out by a sensational direct hit from the alarmingly-competent mystery saffa in the opposition ranks. Said saffa was then thrown the ball and cleaned up Ryan, ringers #6 and #7 with a display of pace bowling that Dale Steyn would have been proud of. The sight of the keeper standing 30 yards behind the stumps on such a slow pitch, with the additional protection of a long stop directly behind him, told you everything you needed to know about this lad’s pace.

Not to be outdone, Merton’s own paceman Nick opened the second innings with a sensational 3-over spell that yielded just three runs. Swinging the ball away and in to the batsmen at will, throwing in the odd yorker and grinning from ear to ear throughout. This was cricket at its best, played the right way, and really was something to see. How he didn’t take a wicket we will never know, and tragically we will never get to enjoy such a display again following Nick’s tragic and untimely passing which leaves holes all over the club, not least at the top of our bowling attack.

BIG MIKE then delivered a truly awful display of leg spin with two overs that seldom saw the ball land on the pitch, was hugely expensive, but somehow contrived to yield two wickets and backing up the old adage that “filth gets wickets”. Ringers #2-5 mopped up the other wickets and “Merton” added another comfortable win to the record.

Prince Consort XI (126-6) bt Merton FCCC (115) by 11 runs

Talk of The Invincibles proved to be premature as Merton fell at the final hurdle between them and a perfect 4-0 season. PCXI won the toss and chose to bat, spotting that Merton were somewhat light on the ground, and made hay in the first few overs as loose bowling and gaps in the field got them off to a good start. Making his MFCCC debut, Sam Harvey bowled with extreme pace but, ahem, loose control. Lofty showed him how it’s done with hardly any pace and a dubious action that generated 3 quick wickets. And it could have been 4 when Kev Locke grassed a skier in the deep in the first of a series of fielding mishaps that swung the momentum back PCXI’s way towards the end of the innings. Despite Rat and Sherbs’ tight swing bowling at the death, a target of 126 looked imposing against the PCXI attack on a massive, damp outfield.

First ball saw BIG MIKE struck on the pads in front and a vociferous appeal for LBW turned down due to the enormous stride that meant impact with the ball was just outside the non-striker’s crease. Kevin Locke played some nice strokes including a glorious late cut for 4. No such aesthetic pleasures down the other end, as Mike scratched his way to 20 before he was out to a screaming caught & bowled. Kev holed out shortly after to signal the start of a procession to/from the pavilion (park bench). Ryan, Will Low and Rat arrested the slide, Will timing a sumptuous straight drive along the ground for 4 first ball, generating questions of the skipper as to why he was hidden so far down the order. Rat had a wedding to protect his face for, but still hit some dashing shots before Welchy was run out by probably the greatest distance in the history of cricket, and Merton ended up 11 runs short at the end of the 20 overs.

All in all a positive season for men in yellow, in white. We’ll aim for another 4/5 after-work T20s and one Sunday game next summer so if you’re interested in turning out speak to Ryan Gresty or Mike Todt and we’ll get you involved in 2017.

Lovely morning down at the Hood with just two games. The u9s were playing a strong Woking Colts side but beat them 3-1 and looked a really good well organised side. The U11s baeat Raynes Park Vale 4-2 coming from 2 – 0 at Half time. Great second half performance for Dave and Steve’s boys. U13s beat Shene Lions 5-0 in the 2nd round of the Surrey County Youth cup. The U14s lost 2-1 to AFC Ewell in the 2nd round of the Invitation Cup. Both excellent performances. U15s lost their cup match 8 – 1.

Todays Results
1s lost in the 1st round of the AFA senior cup to Old Carthusians. Great venue and a very good side final score 4-1 flattered them and they were not hindered by some poor reffing.
2s I hope kick-started their season with a 4-1 home league win against Old Blues. Lofty scored a cracker by all accounts.
3s had a cracking win 3-2 at Old Owens.
4s lost 2-1 at Bank of England the victim of two gutting late goals.
5s won 3-1 against HSBC, another cracking result.
6s also had a great win at Old Alleyns 5-4.
The 7s lost their first league game heavily to Carshalton 6s.
(pics from 1s game at Charterhouse) (Bad news were thefts from changing rooms at the Hood) On the whole a good day and a few guys back in the bar to commiserate with 1s on their return.

[Show slideshow]

NAME: Malcolm Kandulu or Kandula according to Mike

TEAM: 6’s

POSITION: midfielder

BIRTH DATE: 01/12/87

BIRTH PLACE: Blantyre, Malawi

PREVIOUS CLUBS: roundshow colts

Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?
I am simple with my days,  try to make it through work and socialise as much possible. A bit of gym, run a basketball Club, I am passionate about music, I produce, rap, sing and write

How did you end up at Merton FC?
A friend of mind Paolo suggested coming to gain fitness, loved the people and stayed.

What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?
First goal at pre season. I remember walking on the pitch hanging as hell!!

If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?
Sutton United, it’s my local pro you team. I’d be honoured to

Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?
Yes I go to the pub for a full English with kieran

Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season?
Try to keep fit to cover most of the season, get in some extra goals as well.

RAPID FIRE:

Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football):

Childhood Team:

Favourite team in the UK: Arsenal

Favourite team outside the UK: Italian squad if it counts

Childhood Hero: Roberto Baggio

Favourite Food: oriental

Favourite Drink: whiskey

Favourite Band: Jay Z

Today’s Results.
A day of mourning the Loss of Nick P, his 3s and all our teams paid tribute to him at the start of their games. We were pleased to welcome Chris and Nicks’ friends on this sad day. The 1s drew 0-0 with HSBC in an unpleasant encounter. The 2s lost 1-0 away at Weirside. The 6s won 2-0 against South Bank in an early Kick off. Scott Shew scoring both goals in a good win. The 3s unfortunately lost 3-1. The 4s pulled off an impressive 5-0 win, and the 5s got back to winning ways with a 2-0 win.

This weeks edition of the Merton Way is dedicated to Nick Papanastasiou, a true boar who we sadly lost last week in a tragic accident whilst he was on his travels in Vietnam.

Those of us that knew Nick would agree that you will never meet a more happy-go-lucky guy whose big cheeky smile and positivity never failed to lift those around him. The outpouring of love from the 100s of messages and photos posted on his Facebook page are testament to this. “Loyal”, “One of a Kind” “Talented” “Charming” “Energetic” and “Intelligent”, are just a few words that help to paint a picture of the kind of guy he was.

 
For someone of his age, Nick was a fountain of knowledge in a wide range of subjects, but undoubtedly his passion was in fitness and nutrition. He spent many hours explaining to me and anyone who would listen the benefits of eating the diet of a caveman and the best ways to “jack” your testosterone levels through exercise and eating animal fats! He is the only player I have ever known to do a 2 hour Olympic lift and squat session the night before a big game, cycle 7 miles from home to the match at the Hood on a Saturday afternoon and still be the freshest player on the pitch. When most players are struggling to walk after a game he would just hop onto his bike, usually to a friend’s BBQ for some meat (no carbs). I would challenge someone to remember a time off the pitch where he wasn’t holding a protein shake or a packet of pre-cooked chicken from Sainsbury’s.

As far as his football goes, Nick could really play – even when he was turning up after a heavy night at Fabric, running on fumes, with only after half an hour sleep! He had excellent movement, a great pass and could find the back of the net when half a chance presented itself. The 3rd of October 2015 springs to mind, where, away to Merton 3’s rivals Old Parkonians, we were approaching half time, when Merton, against the run of play took the lead with Chris P, Nick’s brother playing his part by nudging the goalkeeper (who had run miles out of goal for some reason) off the ball, which then fell to Nick, who still with a lot to do lifted the ball over the stranded keeper from 35-40 yards for a delightful finish to put the Boars 1-0 up at half time. It’s a shame this exquisite goal from Nick wasn’t emulated by the team in the second half and Merton ended up well beaten at 5-1 when the final whistle went. Nonetheless a memorable goal that is etched into the minds of the Merton 3s dream team of 14/15.

As a friend and a teammate he had a great personality, excellent banter and was completely loyal. I’ve shared so many great memories with Nick, the infamous weekend in Berlin, Copenhagen, Skiing in Les Deux Alps, and Flaine to name just a few. He really knew how to live life to it’s full, seek adventure and find the funny side to everything.

On the Merton 2 and 3s WhatsApp group the heartfelt tributes in response to the premature loss of our friend has been overwhelming and it’s clear that Nick will be sorely missed. His bother Chris has expressed a wish to do something within the club to commemorate Nick at some point in the future but in the meantime we will be holding a minute’s silence before all games on Saturday as a mark of respect.

Last week we lost a brother, a great friend, a teammate and a true boar. Let’s show our respect by going out there this week and making him proud. We will observe a minute’s silence before all games at the weekend as a mark of respect.

I’m going to miss ya buddy

Tom Benham

Todays Youth Results.

The U9s who have just beeen promoted four divisions lost 3-1 to Carshalton Athletic (Up against the big boys metaphorically speaking -they are still U9s). U13s drew 2-2 with Old Coulsden Colts and the U15s lost 2-1 against Kingstonian Youth. U14s Result is still awaited. Well done boys a good effort.

Todays Results and A red letter day with Merton fielding seven full teams and subs.

Pride of place goes to the 7s who beat CEV 6s 5-1 on their debut. Well done to Martin and the boys. Great performance and thanks to CEV for coming all this way for the game. Match report

The 6s won 2-1 at Old Wilsons a great win.
Clive’s 5s were brought down to earth by South Bank 3-0 but Tom Reid suffered a nasty injury, taken away in an ambulance.

The 4s (h)and 3s (a) both lost tight games 3-2.

The 2s lost 7-2 in the cup to NUFC oilers Res who looked very sharp.

The 1s fought out a high quality competitive 0-0 draw with EBOG. Bar buzzing afterwards and a really important step forward for the club.

Alrighty, its results time (#lookawaynow)… the 1s lost a tough battle 1-0 to Civil Service. The 2s lost an even more titanic battle 3-2 after extra time against South Bank. Great effort lads. Rumour has it there were some tired legs by the end of it. 3s went down 3-0 against Broomfield. 6s lost 4-2 in a good game against Old Blues. No game for Clive’s magic 5s. However, they spread their winning mirth to the 4s by lending a few soldiers… after being 2-0 down against Winchmore Hill, the 4s stormed to a 5-2 win – thanks in no small part to the brilliance of Dom Plumridge, who banked 4 goals. Much needed win, well done boys!