Month: September 2017

U14 V Worcester Park Colts  – Score: 7-2

Lineup
GK – MILO
RB – LIAM
CB – NIKOY
CB – ANDREI
LB – MCKENZIE
CM – THEO
CM – DANIEL
RW – HUGO
LW – JUSTIN
CF – KIERON
ST – FAREED

MOM: Kieron
Goalscorers: Fareed (3) Justin (2) Kieron (1) Theo (1)

The day started off brightly at the Hood for the first game of the new season. The game had a cagey opening with no clear-cut chances and a fair few broken passes as the teams adjusted to conditions and the new season. Worcester’s number 7 was their key man as he switched wings and looked to use his pace and skill to get in behind the fullbacks. For Merton Kieron was a constant threat as his touch and skill on the ball consistently brought his teammates into the game and allowed chances to materialize. After a great run by Kieron his ball across the box was just missed by debutant Fareed in what would have been a great early goal to settle the nerves. Minutes later Kieron again used his pace to get in behind, battling past two defenders and poking the ball under the keeper to make it 1-0. After a short spell of pressure Worcester equalized through a penalty after a tug on the shirt by McKenzie. Not to be deterred, Merton hit two goals in quick succession to go 3-1 up with great play between our two strikers leading to Fareed tapping into an empty net after Kieron’s shot was saved by the keeper. This was followed by a sweeping move across the pitch with Daniel and Fareed setting up Justin to rifle home. Shortly before half time Worcester managed to grab a goal back with the dangerous number 7 bombing down the wing and whipping in a cross which unluckily for Merton nestled in the top corner.
After halftime Merton began to assert their dominance with Nikoy and McKenzie doing an excellent job in stopping Worcester’s number 7. This allowed Merton’s attacking play to flourish and a succession of unanswered goals followed. The first came from Fared after more great holdup play in the centre of the park from Kieron and he showed great composure to take the ball into the box, round the keeper and slot home. A sustained spell of possession for Merton brought more fouls from Worcester Park that led to a free kick on the edge of the box and an opportunity for Theo to hit it hard into the roof of the net. Another foul led to a penalty that Andrei stepped up to take but this thumped the crossbar and the rebound was straight at the keeper.
However more goals followed for Merton and the goal of the day came from Justin who showed great perseverance on the wing to win the ball and take it past three men with skill before flashing it into the top corner. Fareed managed to cap his debut with a hat trick before the game was over with a low shot into the corner making it a 7-2 victory. Overall it was a great team performance, well refereed and a fair and enjoyable game.

NAME: KEVIN LOCKE
AGE: 34
POSITION: L/B AND C/B
BIRTH PLACE: CROYDON TOWN
NICKNAME: SMITHY OR THE BEAR

1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself? I am a larger than life character and work for the home office (just a desk job!). I enjoy playing golf and fishing!

2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club? I ended up at Merton due to knowing a few of the first teamers at the time. I was asked to come along and naturally fitted into the sixth team! My favourite thing about the club is that everyone is really welcoming and the bants is unbelievable!

3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC? Scoring 5 goals last season from left back. That’s premier league standard! And also winning the MFC golf day!

4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)? Getting golf balled whilst pouring out a jug. Downing 3 pints in one wasn’t the best idea!

5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? Now the sixes have been promoted (not sure how!), I want us to be competitive but not to take away the fun side of playing football. Hopefully a mid table finish will be a good start at this new level for us.

Rapid Fire

Player to look out for in your side this season? Trey
Predicted top scorer? George B
Person with worst chat/banter? Ram
Who is most likely to get injured? Matt H
Worst fashion sense? Beans – he loves a flowery blouse

NAME: CLIVE CORRIGAN
AGE: 90
POSITION: HERE, THERE, EVERYWHERE!
BIRTH PLACE: LONDON

1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself? I work in security (CCTV) so get out and about. Generally I’m pretty laid back but outspoken about what I think.

2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club? I worked with Chris Outred for about 4 years before he could muster the courage to say hello before introducing the club to me. I like how committed many of the members are, coming to training rain or shine and are willing to support our bar before, during (sometimes) and after the season.

3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC? A largely improved season for the 5th team I’ve been leading and seeing so many people attend extra training to try and push for promotion. (Also still my half-way line goal which Malcolm kandula can take credit for assist from KO for)

4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)? Hard to narrow it down to one with the 5s. If I could screenshot some of the stuff that’s on there you’d need an entire newsletter!

5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? I want to get 5 goals and actually get promotion.

RAPID FIRE

Player to look out for in your side this season? Dwayne
Predicted top scorer? Andy Bitmead (Bitsy)
Person with worst chat/banter? Sam- constantly tells us his love life
Who is most likely to get injured? Tiago. Cramp seems to strike and induce him into labour!
Worst fashion sense? Dwaynes trainers can be pretty garish….

NAME: EDWARD PLAISTOW
AGE: 31
POSITION: LEFT BACK
BIRTH PLACE: CARSHALTON
NICKNAME: SCHOLESY

1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself? I’m a Quantity Surveyor who works for a leading UK and International Construction Services Consultancy. I class myself as a hard worker who is willing to put the time and effort into all that I do in order to succeed. That includes Merton!
2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club? I used to play in the Price Georges Youth Football League in Morden for a team called Tooting Eagles (managed by Clive Roberts who some might know from his time at Merton). After competing at U16 level it was time to move on with a number of us, including my brother Dan Plaistow, selected to represent the league against Merton. I’m not sure if it was the 1st XI we were competing against however we did manage the win! I liked what I saw and the camaraderie of the players and I haven’t looked back since.
3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC? I would have to say leading 5th XI out in a SAL Cup final. Unfortunately we lost in extra time albeit against a strong Polytechnic side a number of leagues above us!
4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)? I would have to say that the funniest moment for me would be picking up a caution when I ‘apparently’ caught the opposing player with my studs during an arial challenge. Play resumed but the players acting skills resulted in the ref to stopping the game to go and have a word. A minute later he walks over to me and shows me the yellow card. I asked what it was for and was shocked when his response was “He said you studded him”. A second yellow card followed soon after as I stood in front of the ball to stop a quick free-kick.
5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? Following back-to-back relegation’s, just staying up would be an achievement. I feel that with the quality of players available, this season should be the one where we push for the title.

RAPID FIRE

Player to look out for in your side this season? Aaron Loftus
Predicted top scorer? Dom Plumridge
Person with worst chat/banter? John Gridley (But only when he talks about Chelsea!)
Who is most likely to get injured? Dan Gridley
Worst fashion sense? Undecided……cop out I know but its a hard question to answer.

NAME: DARREN FITZGERALD
AGE: 25
POSITION: SIDELINE
BIRTH PLACE: CARSHALTON

1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself? I’m a Deputy Site Manager at St Marks Academy…Most would describe me as a miserable old bastard. When really I’m just reserved with a few one liners.

2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club? I got a call from Daniel Woollard asking if I would be interested in helping run the U15’s side at Merton. Having previously worked together at our old club and the Midweek U18’s at AFC Croydon Athletic for the later stages of the season. We came down a few times, met and spoke to Steve and Max… the rest is history. My favourite thing about Merton has to be the great vibe and feel of the place; it’s not just a club. It’s a boars club.

3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC? This has to be being a part of the coaching set up that has turned around the fortunes of the U15’s (Then U14’s)(Now U16’s) Taking over a squad that would just fulfil a fixture, taking only 3 points from 1 win out of 18 games. Conceding 112 goals with a goal difference of -87. Transforming into an 18 Man squad for the start of last season. Finishing 4 places higher with 7x the amount of points; considerably cutting down the goal difference to -13 in what proved to be both a competitive yet frustrating league, however still a very successful season all round.

4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)? Apart from being mistaken for Mustard at the preseason club day by Vanny. It has to be the Away game to Old Parkonians for two reasons, both coming on the touchline… The first being my return of the long trench coat, infamous flat cap and not forgetting the notepad. Underneath this array of stylish clothing was my kit just in case we needed a number on the pitch as I had sustained an injury a couple of games previous after losing a somewhat competitive tussle with a bush. The second being one of the Parkonian players (who wore Number 14) He had been giving it out all through the 1st half to the point he even decided to take on the woodwork, and clearly one was not up to the challenge, and from the corner ended up in a heap on the floor. Rings of he’s broken his arm cry around the pitch. Half time. As 14 is now being led to the carpark. Team talk commences with the comment “ Number 14 has been by far their best player” Cue the brilliance that is Mustards quick sarcasm…. “Well I doubt he will be this Half”

5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? Obviously we would all like to win the league and get to a cup final etc.. being realistic, I think we are good enough to compete and would like to see us push for promotion. One step at a time though, and for now if we can turn the 1 goal defeats into wins and close out a game from winning positions I’ll be happy. As for the U16’s it has to be going for the league.

Player to look out for in your side this season? John Cox A.k.a Jordan Lad’
Predicted top scorer? Dom Plumridge (Sorry Ed)
Person with worst chat/banter? Darcy (#AwfulBantz)
Who is most likely to get injured? Vin (Most Likely to fake it)
Worst fashion sense? Mustard (Double Denim!?)

NAME: GRAHAM WILGOSS
AGE: 34
POSITION: FORWARD
NICKNAME: WILGO

1)Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?
Sports journalist turned corporate sell-out. Running? Yes please; preferably somewhere a bit different. Cycling? Well, we all have our problems.
2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club?
During our (largely idle) Championship Manager-heavy university summer of 2002, Alex Herbert asked me to join his local team for the Hassocks 6-a-side tournament. Proud to say this club means as much to me now as it always has to him. Nowadays (if your cringe pipes can take it), playing any match with Sherbs in yellow is special.
3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC?
Being promoted with the 1s at Bank of England courtesy of a 1-0 win on the final day stands out. As does last season’s Indian summer.
4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)?
Absolutely any time I’ve ever golf-balled Ivan Gladkow. Actually, on that note, Van chewing through that pint of Caffrey’s on tour in Albufeira is up there. Partly because it has now (reluctantly) become his thing at a Merton wedding breakfast. What a continuous source of delight for us all. Thanks, Vanya.
5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season?
A glorious cup run? Tick. Chris Rayner tying defenders in knots? Tick. Tom Benham setting a new world record time for the 100m? Tick. Paul Pearce topping the interceptions made chart? Tick. Ben Cook to go looking for a dust-up? Boom.

RAPID FIRE

Player to look out for in your side this season? Joe Grew. Will dominate relentlessly.
Predicted top scorer? David Quainton. All from less than six yards. That said, Rayner is a two-in-one kind of guy.
Person with worst chat/banter? I always look forward to Conor Murphy’s on-pitch comms. Because I still (for now) have the privilege of splitting my game time between the 1s and 2s, can I also say Chaz? Chaz.
Who is most likely to get injured? Anyone tackled by Mustard in training. We walk in the garden of his turbulence.
Worst fashion sense? Darcy tends to rock up to games dressed as though he has just returned from a rave in an abandoned car park. Honourable mentions for Clappers’ jeans and Van’s brown jumper, dressed as though he has just returned from a rave in an abandoned car

NAME: Simon Clapperton
AGE: 43 (I know, how is still that good at his age)
POSITION: Centre half
BIRTH PLACE: CHELMSFORD
NICKNAME: CLAPPERS

1) Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?
I thought it would be easier to ask others their thoughts. “Inspirational leader, my hero” – James Tilley, “Like a fun, cool older brother” – Tom Rowe, “If I’m half the man he is, when I’m his age, I’ll be so proud” – Ivan Gladkow, “Useless, old, fat ****” – Siri Durrani.
2) How did you end up at Merton FC, and what is your favourite thing about the club?
Googled local clubs and found an old mate played here. Seeing so many people enjoying their football and the friendships they make along the way.
3) Please tell us your personal career highlight with Merton FC?
Guiding the 1st team to promotion into SAL Division 1. First time in 60 years!
4) What was your funniest moment at Merton FC (on the pitch or off it)?
Both on tour. Off it was Max’s face when Tilley told him he’d forgotten his boots as we arrived at the pitch. The pitch was a good 15 minute drive from the hotel and we were already late. On it was Tilley’s performance once he donned his, now collected, boots. Three attempts at a skill which all ended with him on his backside. In his defence he was still pissed from the night/morning before.
5) What are your goals and expectations for your team this season? Aim is to push for promotion and integrate more new, younger, players

RAPID FIRE

Player to look out for in your side this season? Hopefully one of the new guys making a name for themselves.
Predicted top scorer? Charlie Hockless
Person with worst chat/banter? Chaz or Siri
Who is most likely to get injured? Ivan Gladkow
Worst fashion sense? Browner or Ivan. Browner doesn’t try or care. Ivan on the other hand……..