Despite us only having 7 players available, the boys elected to play the match instead of forfeiting. To me this decision already made them winners, they should be very proud of themselves.

Kew Park kicked off and surged forward and scored within the first 30 seconds, it was offside but the ref allowed the goal to stand, we took the centre kick and quickly lost possession, Kew once again surged forward in numbers and scored again. 2-0 down.

Once again we kicked off but this time it was a different story, we kept possession of the ball with some excellent passing and the ball eventually found Chris through on goal, Kew’s keeper came rushing out which managed to distract Chris and his shot narrowly missed the target. This seemed to spur the boys on and for the next 20mins Chris, Mason and Mckenzie all had shots saved by the Kew’s keeper. Half time was approaching and not a moment too soon because the boys were shattered, but just before the whistle, Kew’s nippy striker ran onto a through ball and he neatly slotted the ball into the net, 3-0 HT.

We kicked off for the second half and kept possession well, Mason’s lovely timed through ball found Chris who took on 2 defenders and buried the ball into the bottom corner of the goal, the keeper had no chance of reaching it. 3-1.

For the next 10mins the match was fast flowing, end to end, which took its toll on our boys and with Kew having 2 extra players on the pitch they managed to score 3 more goals dispite some great defending from Jack and Mckenzie, and some brave goalkeeping from Jamie.

Man of the Match: Mckenzie for his determination, commitment, leadership and his great defending.

Well done U12s.

 

Posted in Under 12s Reports

It was a beautiful Spring afternoon in early March. The sun was beaming down on the ‘the Hood’.

Merton’s 3rd team were due to play Old Wilsonians 3rds.

Another Merton 3rd team game meant a lucky dip of players.

Thankfully the Merton boys all arrived in good spirt and on time, which is a rarity! This was more than could be said about the Ref.

3pm came and both teams are basking in the glorious sunshine, awaiting the arrival of the Ref. A few phone calls later, we were advised that there was no referee L (Not sure what happened there Chapel!). Thankful, Lee stepped up (or was rather per pressured into) and agreed to Ref the game.

Merton went 0-2 down after 2 identical goals from set pieces. 40min into the 1st half and Merton started to knock the ball around nicely and scored (1-2). 2minutes later, seconds before the first half whistle went, Merton scored again, making it 2-2 at half time.

After a strong team talk, the Merton boys were back out smelling blood… however, it was Old Wilsonians who made the first move and scored another identical goal, making it 2-3.

Not to be downhearted, Merton started passing the ball around with precision and pace, and soon found themselves 7-3 up. Immense goals from: Darcy Yates, Dan Kelly, Dave, Ricardo x2, 1 OG (which Kelly is trying to claim) and someone else (can’t remember).  Also there was a great strike by Jaime Scott who hit the bar…

Great all round performance by the Merton boys who stood up to the challenge.

Great effort from Lee to agree to Ref the match as well, and a surprisingly good referee!

Posted in Match Reports 3s

At last the warm spring sunshine paid a visit to the borough of Merton and this meant a reasonably dry Joseph Hood and FINALLY a home game for the Mighty Sixes.  For once we were giving the players our home ground sat nav post code, as most players forgot where our home ground was (Nuno and Harry)!

Today’s opponents were the Civil Service and with Steve away for the weekend teaching his dog how to lick pedigree chum off his nuts at Crufts!  Smithy gave a team talk that revolved around seeking retribution for the undeserved defeat against them a few weeks prior.

The team consisted of Smithy “the cat” in goal, back four of Harry, Rob, Adam and Baz.  The midfield was made up of Jay, Ram, Ryan and Fraser with Matty and Nuno up top.  A warm welcome back for “MO” who had to settle for a place on the bench.

Once again Smithy lost the toss and the match was about to start.

The pitch resembled a boggy sandpit and cow field, which most people would think would ruin the free flowing passing game of the sixes!  How wrong they would have been to judge, as the sixes made the game look easy with some meaty tackles and some great passing and movement.  Could this be the Mighty Merton sixes realising there potential as a good team.

With Smithy barking out defensive orders from the back, playing as sweeper rather than a goalie and surviving a hospital back pass from Rob it looked like the defence would not be breached.

It came as no surprise when Merton took the lead after approx. 25 mins with Nuno once again pouncing a loose ball to drill home (and yes he did shoot!!).  1-0 to the Merton!!

We were bossing the game and the Civil Service were finding it tough going.

With the game meandering towards half time up stepped a moment of magic from Matty!  With a free kick awarded on the touch line, up stepped Matty with an out swinging free kick that lobbed the goalkeeper.  It was a great strike, although it was a fluke and if Smithy had been further up the pitch would made a left footer take it!!  2-0 to Merton and the players and most of the Hood were in dreamland!!

The might Merton should have made it 3 with some pin football in their area which resulted in us hitting the bar twice in succession!

Half time came and for once there was no arguing and only positives things to say – that made a change!!

Second half we started the same way and defended superbly with Adam having a stormer and even Baz only managing 1 foul throw thus far! Could this be our day!!

Things did get interesting when they scored approx. 15 mins into the half, with a controversial goal.  The ball came across the 6 yard box and there striker was waiting to pounce!  But a superb safe from Smithy denied him and then saved the rebound for us to clear.  But our joy was short lived as the ref had given a goal.  Merton were in disarray as we thought it did not cross the line nor could he not see clearly enough, but the goal was given.  This was second time against Civil Service we have been caught up in a goal line row, as we thought previously we had scored against them when they were at home!  Oh well never mind, I think the SAL should invest in goal line technology!!

Then just as we were getting our focus back on the game, a long throw in was launched in the area and Rob was adjudged, very harshly to have his arms over the defender!!  PENALY TO CIVIL SERVICE!!

With Smithy doing his best Grobbelaar impression and Ryan shouting he will sky it, the penalty was missed!! Unbelievable Geoff!!!

The half was played with high intensity and the challenges were going in to make a great spectacle, if this was on Sky Sports this surely would be game of the day!  On came Mo for Ram, then Ram on for Ryan who was injured!  Ryan did put in some great tackles, which shows how tough he is when not relying on his dad to fight for him!!

Then with approx. 20 mins left, our little maestro Fraser Neville provided the Merton Sixes with a goal of the season contender (only Smithy’s can rival this!).  With the ball bouncing a fully 30 yards from goal, he spun and hit a great shot into the top corner.  What a goal and the players went wild in celebration!!  3-1 to Merton FC.

With Merton surely on their way to victory, maybe over complacency creped in and the Civil Service scored from an extremely tight angle with a well powered shot. 3-2!!!

With Merton defending deeper and deeper and giving away numerous free kicks on the edge of our box the equaliser finally came approx. 5 mins from the end.

It was a well powered shot which went through about three players legs and with Smithy unsighted, could only get strong hand onto the ball and it just sneaked over the line!!  Heartbreak for Merton!!!

We still had a chance right at the death with Nuno dancing round there defence and with the last defender to beat was tackled! Oh well Nuno never mind mate, it would have been a great goal!!

So the game finished 3-3 and it was a classic!!  Positives to take were that it was probably the best we had played as a team this season and at last we are finally clicking into gear (even though it’s a tad too late!!)

One last thing the MVP…….. this week I am going to give it to Adam Prior – who had an absolute stroming game, great lad to have on board!!!  And by the way his nickname is Beans!! This was because his face looked like beans on toast at school (so someone tells me!).

Let’s take the positives into next week’s game and play the same way on that carpet of a football pitch at Bank of England!!

Oh and good luck to the 1’s on their cup final against some weapons team – make sure you take out their sniper of a striker (get it?)

Over and out Smithy!!

Posted in Match Reports 6s

EBOG Reserves 2 – 1 Merton Reserves

Saturday 7th March 2015

Attendance: c.10

As has become Team Handsome routine for north London away trips, Saturday started at Giraffe at Kings Cross where a wonderful session of coffee, snacks and compliment exchanges was enjoyed by all. Richard Moore elected to turn up without wearing any Merton attire and received his first strike of the day. Willy T, having travelled down from his north London home to receive some compliments, then enjoyed a relatively hassle-free trip back up the Northern line with the rest of the team save for the now-standard attention the team receives from the female half of the general public.

Shortly before reaching the EBOG clubhouse, after a reasonably long walk from the tube, Richard Moore decided he couldn’t wait to get to the toilets and relieved himself in some nearby bushes. An EBOG spectator stopped his car to express his displeasure at this turn of events. Strike two.

Fast forward to game time. The cliché ‘a game of two halves’ is thrown around a lot but this one really was. The first half being approximately 45 minutes and the second half roughly the same. The referee for the day really was a phenomenal time keeper – nothing more, nothing less.

At Handsome HQ we’re more than happy to come up with a range of excuses when we don’t win. The pitch was really terrible and unfortunately conducive to a long ball game which really isn’t what the current Handsomes are all about. We set up as a 3-5-2 which has worked well for us in the past but, on this pitch, a 5-0-5 might have worked better. Most of the early chances fell to Merton but the lottery of the bounce and some less than ideal finishing meant we didn’t capitalise.

Richard Moore was the victim of the first of 3 stonewall penalty shouts that Merton had turned down by the referee. The challenge itself being a wild, stud-up lunge taking man, ball and then more man. Richard unfortunately had to go off and was taken to the Handsomes’ favourite north London hospital earning strike three (and a predator on his return from injury) in the process. Ryan or Liam Stevens came on to replace Richard.

Merton hit the post and blasted over from 2 yards in a goal mouth scramble from a corner but EBOG were the only team to score in the first half with a long ball finished well with a lob over the onrushing DQ.

Constant pressure from Merton in the second half again wasn’t rewarded. We hit the underside of the bar through big Jase from another corner and missed numerous other chances. Willy T was clearly fouled twice in the box. Firstly getting a free-kick on the edge of the box instead of a penalty and secondly, unfathomably, getting a yellow card for diving.

With about 20 minutes to go EBOG got their second from a fortunate floated free-kick that went straight in. Nothing that stand-in keeper DQ could have done about that.

Eventually Merton scored with about 10 minutes to go. Yet another corner that came back out to Rayner who crossed again for Ryan or Liam Stevens to head home well. Further pressure came to nothing though – Willy T, Rayner and Cookie all failing to do anything from 4 free-kicks, each one about 25 yards out.

Overall some good individual performances in difficult conditions but just not quite enough. CrUsher and Wilgo dominated their opposing central midfielders, Egg and Cookie did well at the back (Egg managing to complete at least 3 of his c.50 attempted passes) and Conor, on the right, did well to hold his own against a rather competitive lunatic playing at left back.

Stand out performers though were Ryan or Liam Stevens running the show in the second half in midfield and Joe Griffin marshalling the back 3. They went home with the topless portrait of Wilgo and Egg.

Posted in Match Reports 2s

Team: Angus, Tom Rowe, Rat, Browner, Will Lowe, Tilley, Woody, Dan Whiteman, Vanny, Ackers, Bosher  Subs: Femi, Denis

A disappointing 5-2 loss for the 1’s this week, who again had to shuffle the line-up due to unavailability and suspensions.

After the initial jostling, the opposition opened the scoring from a counter attack 10 minutes into the first half. Poor midfield tracking and static defending allowed their winger to find himself with just Angus to beat, and calmly slotted home to give Winchmore Hill an early lead.

A controversial free-kick then doubled the visitors lead just 5 minutes later.  Whilst Angus was setting his wall, their striker hit the ball early into the open goal from 25 yards out. Despite Merton’s prolonged protests the goal was allowed to stand, and a somewhat embarrassed Winchmore Hill striker trotted back to the halfway line for the re-start.

The terrible decision rallied Merton, with the lads coming close to immediately pulling one back when Bosher was denied by the fingertips of the W.H. keeper following some smart build up play and a defence splitting pass. Both sides continued to battle evenly for the next 20 minutes, creating half-chances along the way. Tommy Rowe contained and continued to kick their left winger, comfortably the best player on the pitch. Ackers battled and held onto the ball up top, whilst at the back Rat marshalled many a long ball, with Will Low putting in a reassuringly solid shift at left back.

With Merton looking most likely to score the next goal, a lack of concentration when defending a corner allowed two free Winchmore hill players to combine, the latter deflecting the ball past Angus from close range. Merton were 3-0 down and facing an uphill battle when the Ref, clearly hoping to rectifying his earlier mistake, continued his bad form when giving Merton a lifeline just before half time. Despite Bosh’s shot quite visibly (and audibly!) striking the centre half square in the face, the Ref awarded Merton a penalty, which Acker’s proceeded to calmly slot home. A buoyed Merton went into the break 3-1 down.

The battle continued after the break with Merton edging closer to a comeback. The opposing keeper was never truly tested however, and with 25 minutes to go another free kick from the visitors proved Merton’s downfall. This time, the flight of a cross-come-shot from the left touchline deceived everyone including the keeper, sailing into the top corner to restore the visitors 3 goal advantage.

This was short-lived, as good work from Vanny and (a recently introduced) Femi down the right led to Merton’s second, with Femi’s cross met by Dan Whiteman whose bullet header disappeared into the top corner. Merton rallied further and continued to push forward in numbers with the lads feeling a result could be attained. Despite a few half chances no goal came, but the over-commitment allowed Winchmore Hill one further chance on the break and they proceeded to put the game firmly to bed with 5 minutes to go. 5-2.

The result, a second disappointing losses on the bounce. With a massive cup final this coming weekend the lads will need not need any more motivation to get back to winning ways.

Dan Whiteman

1s 07.03.15

Posted in Match Reports 1s

Another good day of football with the second Trophy Event of the year hosted by Carshalton.  The boys drew 0 -0 in their first game versus Wandgas, the winners of the tournament, after victory was prevented by the post in the dying seconds.

The second game versus Carshalton Athletic Blues was yet again a tight one, with our team taking the lead but subsequently going down 2 -1.  The team managed to re-establish the equilibrium with a great team effort, closing the score to 2 – 2.

In the third and last game versus Westside the boys displayed the good passing football we got accustomed to and a sound 4 – 0 was the end result of the game.  However, Westside were a very good side but saw their attempts to score saved by brilliant goalkeeping.

Many thanks to the parents and to Carshalton for hosting the games.

Posted in Under 8s Reports

This week’s results: 1st lost 5-2 at home to Winchmore Hill. Let’s hope the guys perform better next week in the Surrey/Kent cup Final against honorable artillery Company being played at Polytechnic ground. 15.00 kick off for those who want to go along and show their supporting hopefully bring hope some silverware to the Hood.

The 2s lost 2-1 away to EBOG, with one of their players Richard Moore being carted away to A&E with suspect broken leg.

The 3s, with the ref not showing and Lee Lenihan steeping in as the man with the whistle beat Old Wilsonians 7-3 a good result having been 2 null down.

The 4s game away to alleyns was postponed, maybe the sun wasnt shining over that way??

5’s didn’t have a fixture.

The 6s drew 3-3 at home against Civil Service 8s, some good football played by the team and some cracking goals.

Posted in Uncategorized

“DO WE HAVE ENOUGH PLAYERS GAFF?”…
…along with “do we have a keeper?” was the build-up to this game.
Once we established who was playing and that Kevin ‘The Cat’ Locke was going to cover the goal for the first 45 mins, we made the journey across South London to the quaint area of Hayes Hill, well compared to Wembley anywhere else is ‘quaint’!! Even travelling to Old Wilsonians didn’t stop the drama of getting to the game, players established how they were arriving….well everyone apart from Nuno who had travelled to Tooting to go wake up Ruben, but to be told by the latter that he won’t be playing as he didn’t want to get up! This prompted frantic messages and calls from Nuno as he panicked to get to the ground from Tooting 2 hours before the game.
Onto the game, finding out that we had to travel the short walk to the back pitches which looked like they were someone’s back garden and they hadn’t opened the gates for anyone to play, we found that there was a slight slope to the pitch and winning the toss was important to establish we played down the slope in the second half.
The first half started evenly but once Old Wilsonians started to take advntage of the slope, we found oursleves struggling to hold onto the ball and make consecutive passes, instead panicking to clear it. The centre midfield of Matt and Ram suffered neck ache as the ball kept pinging around and over them as the ball spent more time being hoofed up in the air then either team risking to bring the ball down and attempt a pass.
Old Wilsonians started to increase their attempts on goal, but nothing to worry Kevin as he swept/slipped/ate everything thrown to him and Spencer and Darren clearing everything else before it reached the penalty area. Steve then decided to ask a romantic question to the ref, who did not take kindly to his approach and we could only assume he was not interested. With the whole team telling him to ‘shut up’ and take the rejection, he was not giving up on asking again and with risking getting his name taken, but not out of choice by the ref, I don’t think he wanted it that much. Fair to say that was his only contribution to the game!
With about 30mins gone, Merton finally had their first attempt on goal with their first passing move. Ram controlled the ball in the centre circle and passed it out to Harry at right back, with a look up he pinged a great ball down the channel which Nuno ran onto, he pulled the ball back to the left edge of the penalty area where Matt ran onto and narrowly missed the target.
This gave Merton belief that we could take an important lead into the half before the advantage of the slope in the second half and this came a few minutes later where a blatant shove in the back of their number 5 by Ram, (I admit it) led to Jay knocking it back to Matt just outside the area and with his eyes lighting up to add to his 3 goals for the season duly smashed into the mid-drift of Ram and fortunately ran across the penalty area to the unmarked Nuno who made no mistake and slotted it passed the keeper.
With talk of trying to take control of the ball at half-time and take advantage of the slope, the next decision was to decide who was going to takeover in goal and just falling short of deciding by rock, paper, scissors – Harry donned the gloves and looked every part a keeper (unfortunately no pics were taken to justify this).
Half-time subs were Nikhil replacing Ram in centre midfield with Kevin playing at left back with Baz operating the right side of defence.
The second half continued the same way as the first half ended….scrappy! With no team able to take control of the game, it became a bit of a tense game as a goal to the oppo would have given them the confidence to have gone on to win the game. With 60 mins gone, Adam replaced Darren at the heart of defence and carried on where Darren left off.
With the ball finding our strikers more regularly, the new chant for the second half was ‘NUNO…PASS!!! All to avail, as everytime he had the ball to feet and the chanting became louder and louder, the more he rebelled and tried to take their defence on single-handed. This week, along with ensuring Nuno has the postcode for the match on Saturday morning, we are going to send him post codes for every player on the pitch so he can locate them!
Comedy moment of the game came when one of the oppo players hoofed the ball up in the darkening sky and goalwards…with Harry looking like he was praying to Allah, the ball was falling pretty much on the goal-line, this led to a discussion between the back four guessing if it will be a goal or not. Spencer could not bare to look and fell to his knees to give his own version of praying to Allah, Harry kept focus and caught the ball under the bar.
The game was pretty much wrapped up midway in the second half as a shot on goal was parried by their keeper, but as he tried to pounce on the bouncing ball, his teammate decided to try and help him out by trying to clear the ball but was closer to taking the keepers head off and the ball rolled away which Nuno went round the keeper and knocked in at the opposite corner. This was his last contribution as he was subsequently substituted for Ram with nikhil moving upfront.
Merton saw out the last 10-15mins without any harm and ran out winners, more through hard work and perserverance than good football.
LINEUP (4-4-2)
Kevin (GK), Baz, Harry, Chris & Darren, Steve, Matt & Ram, Jay, Nuno & Ryan Subs: Adam & Nikhil

Posted in Match Reports 6s

On the back of a fine run of form, the 2s headed to Chiswick to take on promotion rivals Polytechnic. Wilgo had a strong outfield ten at his disposal with some young club players helping out to give us three on the bench. Notable absentees were Craig Usher, midfield stalwart, and the dangerous Femi Arogundade, still recovering from a knock. With Sherbs hunting whales in Mexico, we tried not to blubber too much about the lack of a keeper and when Wilgo threw down the gauntlets, DQ stepped in to pick them up.
As the match kicked off, the Chiswick wind was blowing sharply across the pitch, but Merton started strongly, the Polytechnic backline immediately finding themselves under considerable pressure. Taylor’s marauding runs prompted by Thomas’s probing passes were backed up by some strong running from midfield, Wilgo leading by example. Two or three decent half-chances came and went before Taylor burst through and struck firmly past the Polytechnic custodian. The goal had been coming and was due reward for a great first half. The good work was, in true Merton style, almost immediately undone, when we failed to deal with a teasing set piece which ended up in a back post huddle and the ball deflecting away to safety off the outside of a post. But that was as tense as it got for DQ before half-time.
Polytechnic are a good team and an improvement in their play duly arrived after the break. That said, in the early stages of the second half, we had a couple of very promising counters which could have resulted in the game being put to bed. The build-up play was excellent, but we just couldn’t find the final pass. Polytechnic sensed they were still very much in it and began to apply pressure. A series of free kicks and corners penned us in and eventually the opposition broke through with a low shot, DQ having no chance (the writer of this article confesses that he can’t really remember the goal, but considers the above description ‘close enough’ for publication). It was very tough on the hard-working Merton defence who excelled throughout the contest, lead by captain Marc Wilson, who just seemed to be everywhere.
Buoyed by their goal, Polytechnic were in the ascendency by the end of the game and we found ourselves hanging on a bit. Merton hearts were in mouths when a low shot flashed past the post in the final seconds, but on the balance of the whole game, a draw was a fair result.
We retired to the bar, where Marc Wilson wasn’t presented with the MMH trophy even though he won it. The miscreant who had left the trophy at home placated the baying crowd with a Predator, but it was tough on Marc whose performance more than merited holding it aloft with pride.

Hitch (Roger Daltrey) over the moon that Jason is about to down a Predator for forgetting the Man most handsome (Man of the match) award
Hitch (Roger Daltrey) over the moon that Jason is about to down a Predator for forgetting the Man most handsome (Man of the match) award
Pete and Ryan stepping up from 3s to 2s last week
Pete and Ryan stepping up from 3s to 2s last week
The second ruddy handsome bugger this season to step up between the sticks when his team needed him.
The second ruddy handsome bugger this season to step up between the sticks when his team needed him.
Team Handsome at Poly yesterday. Richie Moore looking chuffed at the predator in front of him.
Team Handsome at Poly yesterday. Richie Moore looking chuffed at the predator in front of him.
Posted in Match Reports 2s

As the score line suggests this was a pretty dreadful display by us. Nottsborough had a very good forward but he didn’t score any of their goals and we should’ve been able to defend the crosses he put into the box. We didn’t and were 4-0 by half time. Three of the goals were identikit back post headers which we should’ve learnt from each time. We regrouped at half time and most people raised their games. Not that hard given how poor the first half was! We scored twice but still managed to score an own goal and ANOTHER back post header to compound our misery. The most annoying aspect of the day was that they looked fitter and more committed than us and it’s very rare that’s the case. A bad day we need to put behind us, look forward to the cup final, and learn from to ensure we get the points we need to stay up. Thanks to Darcy and Tony who stepped up from the 3s and Cookie who went in goal for the last 20 minutes.

TEAM: Ryan Tomlin (GK), Cookie, Browner, Rat, Jonesy, Al G, Snooks, Darcy, Vanny, Bosher, Dan Whiteman. Subs: Alex Hope, Tony

 Darcy and Tony stepping up from the 3s to make their 1s debuts

Darcy and Tony stepping up from the 3s to make their 1s debuts
Action shot from the 1s Subbuteo game
Action shot from the 1s Subbuteo game
Posted in Match Reports 1s