Today was going to be a good day, I could feel it.

Maybe my aura was the good colour or because Kev’s face had that beautiful ‘day after kebab’ glow it often does, but the sun was shining and we were ready to bounce back after our dressing down at Carshalton.

Kitted up, stretched and raring to go, we lined up to gain a valuable 3 points against bottom of the league, which I have only noticed since the game have yet to register any points in the table, and averaging 0.5 goals per game, ouch. First outing of the season lining up in a 4-3-3 formation (courtesy of yours truly) as we showed intent to press from the top and play free-flowing attacking football.

Understandably it wasn’t long before we took the lead, Matt whipping in a cross to absolutely nobody as their centre back – unfortunately for him – pocketed the ball in his own net in an attempted clearance. Things carried on in similar fashion as our front three of Trey, Paul and Callum ran rings around their defence, linking up well with pace and confidence to bag our second goal of the game, and third, and so on…

I couldn’t write this report without a mention of two world class goals, Paul from the p-spot smashing home a waist-high volley cross from the right, and myself with a belter from outside the box even Frank Lampard couldn’t muster, I’m pretty sure the bar is still shaking. 6-0 up at half time we had well and truly put the game to bed, which was fortunate considering I couldn’t stop my legs from cramping (admittedly a long cycle before the game wasn’t my best idea).

Chappell, as he often does, played with confidence and was willing to assert his authority, although attempting yet another injury on our own team with Matt this time the victim does present the case for a more channelled approach to his aggression. Ty had his most lazy-Fabregas performance to date, pinging 40 yard passes for fun, which unfortunately Matt would often clear out for a goal-kick their end for good measure.

Considering our outstanding link-up play in the first half, man of the match could have gone to a number of people; Callum and Ty for great link up play, myself for naughty tekkers and that wondergoal, or Paul for putting yet another good shift in up top and a Zlatan-worthy strike, but Trey had a game to remember, causing all sorts of problems up top with his movement in behind and netting a brace to top it off.

There are a few contenders for dick of the day; Chappel’s self-destructive aggression, Ty’s booking for not winding his f*cking neck in, or even Matt forgetting he isn’t Steven Gerrard and doesn’t ‘score for fun’ from 40 yards… however this week has got to go to our very cocky keeper Swanny, who for some reason thought he would try and take on their centre forward and losing the ball in front of goal, which really should have been punished if their striker had more composure.

But, of course as he will remind me “the sun was in my eyes”, which I would argue is less the reason to take a chance!

MOM: Trey

DOD: Swanny

Merton 5s 1 – 2 Kew 3rds

Arriving in the sunny capital, I was pleased to hear that our game this weekend was away to Kew. Kew have lottery-funded pitches to suit our Barcelona-esque style of play, and a good clubhouse to complement our Gazza-esque drinking habits. However, with 2 days before the big KO, the seeds of doubt were planted as the “availability” of their pitches fell into question – a perfectly logical situation considering they have 3 pitches and 3 teams. It so transpires that the raucous group of bowles players occupying the pitches at Kew refused to leave, so the game came to the bumpy, unreliable Wimbledon Common.

Despite some confusion caused by the change, outrage at the decision to arrive 2 hours before kick-off, and the referee declaring a zero tolerance to swearing which left everyone concerned for Lenners, we actually started the game pretty well. The opening exchanges were a little cagey; however the 5s were winning the ball well, passing it around and making the best chances of the first period. There were some good passages of play between the front 3 of Dwayne, Aaron and Gibbo that led to some half decent chances. The pick of them was a through ball to Gibbo, which left him one on one with the keeper. As the keeper backpeddled, Gibbo attempted the chip. The power wasn’t there, and the ball fell harmlessly into the goalkeeper’s hands. The half probably wasn’t the spectacle their fans had hoped for [there were 4 of them], but from our perspective we looked the most likely.

Some shocking decisions seemed to go against us, however, and with Dulanjie absent the job fell to Dwayne to always be offside. There were 2 or 3 instances where Dwayne was judged to be offside by the referee yet started from 2 yards the right side of the defender. There were some fouls that were given for virtually nothing, and blatant offsides not called. Fearing he was going to talk himself into the book [and perhaps even get himself sent off], Lenners decided to come off. His eloquent use of language towards the referee did continue from the sidelines, but it’s much more difficult to get sent off from there – and after all, it wouldn’t be a game of football if Lenners wasn’t shouting through it.

The second half started, and our changes hadn’t settled into the game before we were 1 – 0 down. Something as simple as a ball over the top caught us out, and their striker raced onto it to chip Sam to give them the lead. They played with a renewed confidence after that, and truthfully could have gone 2 up had it not been for the brilliant Sam in goal. With one 1v1 save and a stop from a good shot from outside the box, we seemed to have weathered a bit of a storm and started coming back into the match.

As we were getting back into the game, an injury crisis hit. Delman was the first to go after a fine first half – the theory goes that he and Dwayne were playing kiss chase into the early hours & it had taken its toll. Then went Tiago, who claimed cramp as the reason yet was squealing as if he was the victim of Lenners’ Naked shower time whilst simultaneously being eaten by a dingo. Their replacements, Steve and Pete, took to the game like a duck to water however, and we were soon to draw level.

Pete threatened immediately, with a through ball finding him around 20 yards out. With the keeper off his line, he tried the chip however the ball narrowly sailed over the bar. Not long after, the move was almost identical, however the outcome was different. With the ball bouncing, Pete took it first time to lob the keeper with a fine finish to make it 1-1. Cue an exciting finale.

Towards the end of the game, both teams seem discontent with a point. It was Merton, however, that was evidently tiring and that showed in the last 5 minutes. In a good passage of play by the oppo, coupled with some laboured closing down from a tired Merton, their player found a little bit of space to put the ball into the box. Their striker, about 2 yards offside, was on hand to stick the ball past Sam from around 8 yards to give Kew the points. The striker expectantly looked towards the referee, and our defence seemed miffed, but the whistle did not come and the goal stood. The complaints were not as vigorous as they could have been, owing to the fact that our players were knackered and perhaps not altogether surprised considering the decisions of the ref throughout the game. Lenners could still be heard in the distance making the case in a calm and measured manner as always, but the ref’s mind wasn’t to be changed and the game ended 1-2.

The effort put in was superb from our lot and with some extra fitness that comes with a run of games or with a couple of goals in the first half, we could have won this game. Despite the spell around their first goal, our defence and midfield were very strong, winning 50/50s and managing to play the ball around despite the tricky conditions. Dwayne, Aaron and Gibbo were a constant threat as an attacking trio – the final ball/finish just wasn’t quite there but on another day, they could each have scored. And off the bench Steve slotted very comfortably into an unfamiliar right back position, Darren offered steel in the midfield that Tiago had been adding in the first half and their defence couldn’t deal with Pete’s pace, as his goal suggests.

The drink up that ensued afterwards was good fun, with this reporter’s storytelling getting him into the post-match venue without ID, in a conversation that ended with “duck the pom pom”, or words to that affect [this is a family-friendly report, afterall]. Since the lovely gentleman was letting me in, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I actually think the “pom pom” is doing a great job despite their ever-dwingling resources, so I went along with it.

It was great to see everyone again and I will keep following the 5s on their mighty run up the football league.

Under 9s v Wandgas Youth FC – 19.2.2017

 

Wandgas 4 Merton 1

On a much milder Sunday away in Worcester Park, Merton took on the under 9s from Wandgas, who were known to be a strong side having recently played in the division above. 

This week Merton showed some excellent defensive work with Joshua winning man-of-the-match award for his fantastic tackling in defense. Doo Ho also provided another master class in goal repelling multiple shots on target. In attack, Presley scored another wonder goal and we had 2 more fabulous goals disallowed by the referee which was the game changer. Notwithstanding this, Merton are now finding their level, playing against some strong and decent opposition, which in the long run should be positive for the team as they develop. 

In the end, it was probably fair to say that the ultimate scoreline did not adequately represent the period of play, with Merton coming back and attacking particularly well in the second half.

Best wishes to the team going forward, and a big thank you to all the parents who came along to support. 

Winta

U9s Pitch Marshall

Merton III XI    vs  Old Parkonians IV XI      Sat  18^th Feb

The Great Escape…..???

A beautiful spring afternoon presented itself to Merton’s 3’s at the Hood. After the sheer stupidity of the vandals earlier in the week, Merton wanted to bring back some pride to the fortress that was the Hood.

Old Skool Rhythm and Blues was playlist of choice, and the music came flowing out of the (pointlessly smashed) dressing room windows.

Merton were in good spirits following the successful 2 wins on the bounce, unheard of this season!

The opposition was a much changed team of Old Parkonians with only 1 or 2 familiar faces from the team we played previously. Also the average size of these players was a little concern, but this didn’t put off Merton, who were focused on getting the all important 3points needed, to keep their fears of relegation at bay.

Pleasantries exchanged, the game kicked off. Old Parkonians had the better first 10min, but then Merton found their stride. A lovely interchange between Darcy and Glen saw Fitz clean through. 1-0 and Merton hadn’t even broken a sweat.

Merton continued to dominate for the rest of the half, with countless chances created and some even captured on film by the eagle eyed Mr Noble. However, Merton were unable to convert any, which has been the story of the season. On the positive though, as the great ‘Wayne Shaw’ once said, (whilst eating a pie) “Shooting off target is the start of something great… once you know your off target, you are half way there to shooting on target, which is a real game changer”.

Not much else happened in the first half of note, Mustard decided to take a throw in from the wrong pitch and wondered why he could only throw 2m in distance. Mr Happy continued to shout words of encouragement to the rest of his team mates and Ricki’s dog watched on from the sidelines, basking in the sunshine, dreaming of hotdogs.

Half time came and went with all the classic cliches that you have all read a million times before! Big push in the first 10min, Next goal is vital etc.

The 2nd half started much like the first, with Old Parkonians starting stronger and Dan making a number of good saves. Merton finally found their passing boots again and began to knock the ball around nicely. A few more missed opportunities came and went, before Fitz was maliciously brought down by the oppo keeper. Clear pen.

After much debate, the clubs leading penalty taker set the ball down. A whistle went, boom… goal…. cue celebration. However, it was a whistle from the other game. The ref made Darcy take the penalty again…. boom. Goal. Neatly slotted into the same corner as the previous penalty. “Nerves of steal”, some were heard saying on the side line.

Meton now had a 2-0 advantage and it stayed this way until the 83min.

As mentioned, the Old Parkonians had a significant height advantage, with every player being 6’2″ plus. On the other hand, Merton’s tallest player was probably Glen or Neal who are an impressive 5’7″ at best. I’m not sure why it took the oppo so long to work this out, but when they did, Merton were in trouble.

After 8 consecutive corners, with Merton unable to clear their lines, an oppo player broke free and whipped in another cross, which was nodded into the goal. 2-1.

Oppo now had the wind in their sails… 88min went past, 89, 90min and another set of 4 corners came Merton’s way. An exact replica of the first goal made it 2-2.

Heart break for the boars who’s defence had been solid until the 83min.

The game was restated with only seconds left on the clock… tick tock… 5mins later,  oppo broke down the left, crossed the ball into the back post, which was promptly put back into the mixer for the striker to score another header. 2-3.

Merton looked by far the better team for 83mins, however like the majority of the other games this season, they found a way to mess it up and lose it.

Some harsh, but fair, words were exchanged in the dressing room, which left each player looking at his own commitment and fitness levels for next season.

Everyone returned to the bar for a beverage and to let off some steam.

Last game of the season Sat… Can Merton 3’s turn over a new leaf this side of Spring?

Goals: Fitz, Darcy

MoM: Dan
DoD: Darcy

Maybe it was just the warmth and sunshine. After all, it would seem ridiculous on the face of it that a team who’ve lost five games on the bounce – especially with the latest being a 6-0 reverse at Polytechnic – should have reason to feel confident. But then again, this was a team who’d started to play some really good football recently, and therein lay the main reason for them feeling confident as they set foot in their hallowed turf at the sadly-vandalised Hood for this clash against mid-table Bank of England.

I will keep this short and sweet as not to prompt further complaints from the Carshalton hierarchy as per usual when we mention the fact they shouldn’t be in our league etc…. so here goes!
Merton 6’s went into this top of the table clash a bit undercooked due to postponements and lack of game time. So when everybody arrived on time, the management was full of hope of a positive result. The squad was pretty much the same that has got us into the good league position we currently occupy, so there was no need to change this on a weekly basis and pick players from other Merton squads to strengthen.
The game started and Merton were very good off the mark, with challenges being won and some good passing in midfield. Unfortunately, Carshalton’s direct game with balls over the top were catching us out and was no surprise when they cut in from our right and a shot squirmed through Swanny’s hands to make it 1-0.
From this point on, Merton really upped their game and gave a really great display and caused Carshalton no end of problems and bar some great saves from their keeper we should have been at least level. Again though we were caught on the break, and a powerful long range effort lobbed Swanny (the ball was about 3 feet off the floor, sorry Swanny!) and Carshalton went 2-0 ahead.
Merton immediately hit back with a great move that George B finished off. Then after it was attack after attack from Merton and we really should have been level. Unfortunately, we didn’t take our chances where as Carshalton did and again they scored just before half time making it 3-1.
We were very unlucky and should not have 3-1 down with the chances we created and the half time team talk was one of a positive note. A few changes were made to freshen things up and we started again! The second half started with Merton on the back foot and maybe our heads were still in the first half when we felt hard done by. Chances still came our way with George missing a really good chance to get us back in the game, but to be fair Carshalton were the team in charge.
Then came the sour note of the game whereby Spence who was having a great game, was knocked off balance whilst shielding the ball out of play, and took a nasty fall on his wrist. It did not look good and was now pointing in the wrong direction and with him is great deal of pain, was forced off and straight to hospital. A while later we got the results of a double fracture and dislocation!! Very nasty, but thanks to Rat for taking him to the local A and E.
After this our heads didn’t really seem to be in the game and it was no surprise to see Swanny being lobbed again from a really well placed free kick to make it 4-1! Sorry mate!!
Being 4-1 down didn’t stop Carshalton trying to kick us off the park, and some of their players were lucky not to see red. But as the game was edging towards the end they got a 5th after a dubious penalty was given and the skipper booked for his protest. The penalty was awful and Swanny made a good save, but unfortunately was beaten by the re-bound. 5-1 final score.
On a positive not, we have had our two spankings from them and both our nearest rivals are still to play them so let’s focus on promotion!!

Now for Man of the Match, and as no votes were cast, I will give it to the following:
MoM: Special mentions to the skipper (thought he had one of his better games!), Pete who worked hard up top, Chris and Ty for non stop running and Spense! BUT I am going to give it Chappell, battled hard and never gave up even when backs were up against the wall!
DoD: The skipper is not getting it this week!! Could give it to Spence for a broken hand (your supposed to break legs in football), could give it to the whole squad for not backing the skipper up when there was some argy bargy! But I’m afraid it has to go to Swanny this week, two lobs ;o) , a very slight error for the first and should have saved the penalty!!! (Please don’t leave us though!!!!!!)

The job of this weeks match report goes out to the new newsletter editor – Samuel Singer-Ripley. “cut out the middle man” was mentioned but I just think nobody wanted the job of being rude enough to write terrible things about my shocking performance.
It was a cold day, snowing in fact and many expected the game to be called off – which would’ve saved me a lot of grief. South Bank started strong with a number of attacks in the early stages of the game. Putting balls into the box but were easily enough dealt with.
But about 20 minutes into the first half the ball was lost in Mertons own half and the break down the right hand side of the pitch, with a threw ball left a one on one which was easily enough put away from inside the box as it bulged into the far side of the net. Merton heads dropped as South Bank could be heard yelling “Nil-Nil Boys”.
Another goal soon followed. We won the ball back on the edge of our own box, in an attempt to break quickly, the center half accidently booted the ball into the behind of the other center half which fell nicely for the South Bank striker, I was off my line and wasn’t anticipating the quick change of position and was lobbed.
Heads fell further and confidence plumpted. Dan, the manager, knew he had do something to change things around. Malcolm came on in an attempt to hold the ball higher up the pitch. But as the first half was coming to a close. The Merton goalkeeper, Me, attempted to spring a 40-yard pass across field which barely made it 10 feet, which again fell kindly for the lucky South Bank striker. The scruffed ball meant that South Bank were 3-0 up. Merton looked blindly at their goalkeeper in disbelief.
Dan came on in the final few minutes, as we tried to rescue the game we started to move the ball quicker. A break down the right flank and a ball brilliantly held up by Malcolm. Unsure if he meant to do it he turned a defender on the edge of the box and squared the ball to Noor who expertly put away the one on one with the keeper. 3-1 and went into half time hopeful.
The second half was supposed to be the brilliant merton rescue but within the first 5 minutes of play, a simple ball over the top of the defence which wasn’t dealt with by the keeper meant that South Bank were 4-1 up and the half-time talk went out the window.
If anything the goal turned on the wild boars. and with a wild hit and hope the ball was smacked as the Southbank Goalkeeper. Tom R and Merton FC went wild only 2 more goal to go and the South Bank goalkeeper looked to mimic the Merton Goalkeeper who was useless. Another Hit and hope moment by Scott that had some movement on the ball tricked the keeper who flapped at the ball 4-3 GAME ON.
The mighty boars, were rewarded as the biggest of them all, made a rush for the ball as it was played through. Malcolm who thought he wouldn’t make it in a million years managed to toe-poke the ball into the back of the net.
4-4!!! However the amazing could not be. and at the end of the day the Mighty Yellows, deserved the win. But were held to a disappointed draw.
Line up -Sam, Martin, Josh, Tom R, Andrew, Billy, Dave, Adam, Noor, Jon, Scott. Subs: Malcolm, Dan, Tom J
MOTM : MALCOLM DOTD: SAM

Merton arrived on a freezing cold Sunday morning at Bedfont FC.
Not joking you could touch planes as they flew over being so close to ground.
We got changed in new white kit…looked really cool.
1st half was hard work as we battled to break Bedfont down.
The away team goalkeeper pulled off some great saves and 0.0 at half time.
2nd half we stepped up pressed high up pitch and gave them no room.
Rohan came on to midfield and put solid tackles in which shook up the opposition.
Steve Gumble then unleashed a bullet shot rifle into back of net…..this opened flood gates…..another goal from William and Cormac.
In fairness Bedfont did well to hold and we really did not play well…..was a cold morning.
We now march onto Semi Final for 2nd year in a row….big game Sunday against Roehampton to decide if we can make another final.
Whatever result we have a great team based on solid work ethic and amazing support.
Darren manager called me during week to wish us well and reiterated what a grwat bunch of discipline boys we have who are credit to club and thenselves….very humbling.
Wish us luck we will need it.

NAME: Dan Ally. 

TEAM: 7s/Manager.

POSITION: Defender/Manager.

BIRTH DATE: 04/03/94.

BIRTH PLACE: Kingston. 

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Reigate priory, Kingswood FC. 

1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

 I’m an all round builder but my speciality is bricklaying, patios and driveways. I always make sure iv got time for playing football, going fishing, playing guitar, going to gigs/festivals and going out. I’m very laid back and just goes with the flow. 

2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

I Searched for local football teams In my area on the Internet and found Merton FC and now I’m here.

3. What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?

 Probably becoming the 7s manager. 

4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

 LA Galaxy. Why? Because it’s in los Angeles lets face it who wouldn’t wanna live there? 

5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

Listening to Taylor Swift in the car driving to home and away games always gets me in the mood before a match, but I do have a habit of always forgetting the kit. 

6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

To Continue playing strong and focused in every game, the aim is to finish at least in the top four this season. 

RAPID FIRE:

Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): premier league Zlatan Ibrahimovic. 

Childhood Team: Liverpool fc. 

Favourite team in the UK: Liverpool fc.

Favourite team outside the UK: Real Madrid 

Childhood Hero: Ronaldo(Brazilian Ronaldo) 

Favourite Food: Fried Chicken and Chips

Favourite Drink: Southern Comfort & lemonade.

Favourite Band: Red Hot Chili Peppers. 

NAME: Dan Kelly

TEAM: Merton 2s

POSITION: Centre Forward

BIRTH DATE: 16/10/81

BIRTH PLACE: Great Yarmouth

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Couple of clubs back in York: Heslington XI, CPP, but Merton since 2005.

1. Tell us who you are outside of the club. What do you do, how would you describe yourself?

I work in market research which wrongly gets equated with me doing surveys. It’s not that exciting. I like to travel, be active (football, climbing, hiking) am basically super competitive about everything and anything. 

2. How did you end up at Merton FC?

 Moved to Wimbledon in 2005, googled and found Merton. Came down for training and Max got me into the 4s squad with Scicluna. Got myself a few goals early on and that was it really.

3. What was your best moment in your MFC career till now?

 Winning the title with the 3s a few years back. And back to back club top scorer awards.

4. If you could play for a professional team, which would be it and why?

Super Tottenham from the Lane (although not for much longer) 

5. Do you have any pre-match rituals or superstitions?

Never wear 7 or 10 (I don’t have the ball playing skills to back it up). Make sure you score in the warm up.  

6. Lastly, share us your goals/expectations for the season.

 Promotion with the 2s (although tough now) and finishing top scorer for them. Would love for the 3s to stay up as well – best of luck to them at the weekend

RAPID FIRE:

Player of the season (at Merton, or in professional football): Connor Murphy. Relentlessly solid.

Childhood Team: Spurs

Favourite team in the UK: Spurs

Favourite team outside the UK: There is football outside the UK?

Childhood Hero: Gary Lineker and for a brief phase I remember wanting to be Eddie the Eagle so much I almost drowned “ski jumping” into the sea. 

Favourite Food: Pizza

Favourite Drink: Ale

Favourite Band: Pass.